To cut a long story short, I'm the other side of the world to my family and haven't seen them for a few years. I had to tell my mum when i got diagnosed just because she 'knew' something was wrong and was fishing for information. At the time I thought it was no more than disc issues so had told her that I was getting and mri etc.

Anyway, I have a sister who has always thought I was the lucky sister, the fortunate one, the golden child. She now thinks I'm EVER so lucky to be not working much, sending out my partner to work whilst I sit around on the farm. I've told her I have disc issues and had to give up nursing because of this.

I feel bad that I haven't told her but I know she couldn't keep it to herself and I just don't want people in our home town knowing. it's a small community and i don't want to be known as that girl who has ms.

We're heading home for a visit next year and the comments have already started. How we can pop over to Italy one weekend, where we can go shopping, what she wants as gifts etc. i've told her I'm pretty skint cos of not working much but she just makes snyde comments.

Tonight she mocked my counselling business, culminating in asking had i counselled the sheep after the trauma of not getting them in the trailer? Who was I counselling, what was I doing etc with THAT tone of voice - like 'who's gonna go to YOU?'.

I know I shouldn't get annoyed. She doesn't know. We've never got on really well and she's just being slightly nasty, not real mean.

But now, if I tell her, she'll get mad that I didn't tell her sooner. and it'll be like I'm saying you can't be mean to me anymore, I'm sick.

i feel so cross. her tone of voice really cut me hard.

yes, i'm so lucky to be at home all the time. but not so lucky as to why.

I'm not sure what I expect anyone to say... just banana cake and tea if you got this far.