[Dejibo]

im frustrated with MS. Im frustrated with not being able to live my life, or get on with it. To be able to think my way back to living the healthy, active, bubbly, intellectual life I was leading. I cant work, I cant play, my friends have long since gone away, now sitting in front of a computer or TV describes my day.

So, the MD said I could see someone if I want. ok, great idea. Im going to go sit on someones couch and pay them $100 an hour to whine? I have already figured out my life is now and forever changed. i wont be able to do the things I want or loved to do. its a new life and I am the one who needs to adjust and find new things to love in it. So...there, saved myself thousands of dollars.

My family is far away (this is a good thing) and husbands family while supportive always do that "poor pitiful frank" thing when they talk to him. "hows the wife? you poor man, that must be so hard on you." He is a good egg, and doesnt whine, and altho I have offered him the chance to RUN! he hasnt . he said he is here for the long haul.

We will be married 25 years this year, and I will be 50 this year. Is this it? I did all my best stuff before I was 50? Had I known I would have flown more, sky dived, hiked more, instead of burying my nose at work. I retired early so we could travel and before I could make the first reservation the MD said "you have ms" UGH! I was so close!

So, how do you handle the change of life that has been handed to you because you now cant do all those things you planned on doing? I dont want this! I want MY life back! This is not MY life, this is someone elses that I read about in a magazine!The story of the week about some brave woman who soldiered thru. Well...i dont want to soldier thru any more! im tired of the pain, the aches, the uncertainties, the meds, the needing to lay down so many hours of the day when the sun is shinning and things need to be done, and I cant get up to do them.

Thanks for letting me whine.