As you may know from previous posts, I had my hearing for Social Security back in November. I just received the letter with the decision. Denied. This was my 3rd time applying. I had applied the first two times by myself. Then on the third attempt I got an attorney.

The judge seemed compassionate towards my case and my attorney said I represented my case well enough that he felt he didn't need to add anything when the judge asked if he had anything to say.

The letter was pages and pages and pages long. I am so saddened. I don't even want to be in the system in the first place, but I don't have any other option. I have tried so many different occupations to try and keep a 40 hour work week and am not able to do so (horrible pain in my legs, back muscle spasms, extreme fatigue, pain behind the eyes accompanied with double vision towards the end of the work week). My neuro doesn't acknowledge this. He sees me once a year and it seems everytime I actually go to his office, I'm having a decent MS day. My neuro hasn't seen my on my worst days. My family and friends and coworkers have. And I don't have medical insurance so I can't just go see him whenever I need to. I don't have the funds. and I don't want to rack up even more debt.

I feel so doomed. Like I am never going to be able to make my ends meet. I won't have health coverage with this debilitating disease. I'm scared of my future. I don't even know what to do at this point.