[Dejibo]

I am exhausted! I know we all talk about spoons, and how we used them all, but I am in such a spoon deficit that I am borrowing spoons my grandmother dug in the garden with. I slept for 12 hours yesterday and then laid in bed for the other 11. I did manage a bath (after appropriate meds) and I was able to get myself to sleep (after meds)

The MS hug is going to crack my ribs if it gets tighter. it hurts to draw in a full breath, and I cant get comfy sitting, standing or laying. I have a boil on my bum that sits right on the underwear line and its making me want to cry! its painful and DH is pitiful at pimples, let alone knowing that to do for a boil. I cant reach it well, and there is nothing I can do other than go let an MD look at it.

I feel like I am isolating, I dont want to socialize , I dont want to leave my house. I dont care if I have an invitation, and my muscles are sore, stiff and I feel clunky and clumsy when I walk. My vision gets fuzzy, double, and warped so quickly.

Am I just over tired and need to rest for a few days Or do I need to contact someone? If I contact them, what will they do? Steroids? I dont want to do those unless its severe or Optic. Up my meds? I feel over medicated as it is.

I have a full blown case of "i dont wanna!" DH is dragging me to see Hunger Games movie. We listened to the books and loved the story. it will be nice to see it, but I have a HUGE case of excuses that keep whipping out of my head for reasons to not go.

[Kitty]

Dej, before I took any meds (steroids) for this I'd give myself permission to hibernate for a few days.

No outside visual or auditory stimulation. Just peace and quiet. If you need to sleep then sleep. Drink plenty of water and don't give anything a thought but you feeling better.

Jack is well now......they have their catio to keep them entertained.

The car situation is finished.

You might just be having a "let down" effect to all the stress that's been going on in your life for so long. Let DH take care of anything that needs doing away from home.

You need a much deserved break.

[Debbie D]

Dear, if there is anyone on God's green Earth that would know the answer to that question, it's you. Of course you're in a major flare...get thee to the doc, especially with that hug. And that boil-you don't want that getting infected.

I feel bad for you...you continue to fight, and continue to get knocked to the bottom of the hill, with that huge boulder you've been pushing up that hill rolling over you time and again. You are an inspiration to all of us.

Now take care of yourself...call the doc, or big girl hospital, and let them know immediately what is going on. Then let us know.

We'll be praying for relief for you

[SallyC]

What Kelly said..

And the fact that you and your body are in mourning for your lost car and lost freedom.

[Mariel]

Yes, Sally could be right about mourning for the lost car. I do a LOT of mourning since Irv died, and other things didn't go well, and I know how that tears you down physically, even if you try to rest, pray, be positive, everything. You still get torn way down.

Steroids were not given for Optic Neuritis by the neuro-opthalmologiest I had when i had ON. He said studies show people recover as quickly without as with steroids. I do not know if he was right, but I would have reacted violently to large steroid doses, so it's just as well, and I suspect you, Dejibo, would also react very badly.

Dr. Swank, in addition to his diet, prescribed lots of rest in a quiet atmosphere....no loud radio, no blaring TV, just quiet. You seem to have a helpful husband, so you wouldn't be "alone" lying there in the dark (yes, Swank even thought you should make your room dim at times of stress). We get overloaded neurologically very easily. It's so hard to "come down", I know. But be grateful that your husband is there to help, maybe bring you food? And eat it with you in your quiet dim room? Sounds kind of nice to me.

Take a few minutes, though, to go outside, if you have clear skies, and see the Perigee Moon, which was full last night but will be beautiful tonight as well.

[dmplaura]

(((((((Dej))))))) I can't offer any more advice than the great help of the previous folks posting here. Rest well and know you're in my thoughts.

I love that you can still write your post with humor in it, even in the worst of times. If you do go to see Hunger Games, I hope you enjoy it and it takes you away for a couple hours.

[Dejibo]

son and his G/f showed up fighting. Let me give it to you in a nutshell. She is recently widowed. She loved that man, and he died. he died and left her with 3 kids! a house full of unfinished projects, a pocket full of medical bills, cars that dont run well. and while she worked hard to put him thru school, it was her turn and he died before she got to go. I think she is overworked, over stressed The house is a tea total wreck. The kids are over scheduled, and have way too many social things going on. There is no time to just play and be kids. Speaking of Kids, mine has never raised kids. He is just out of a horribly abusive relationship, and needed time to heal, but did he listen? nope, he jumped straight into her arms. He cant keep up to the kids, the house, her, her new diagnosis of fibromyalgia and her abusive mother who hates him simply because he isnt the ex who had loads of money.

So, these two monkeys came over last night and wanted to talk it out and see if I could help them understand what went wrong. I let her talk for an hour. I let him talk for an hour, then I came back and said "Look, love each other or not, you are both in WAY over your heads here. My son wants to get out of this relationship and has NO idea on how to do it." she started sobbing. I said "why are you bawling?! YOU TOO want out, and have NO idea on how to do it. you NEED time to grieve. Time to let those children grieve. Time to get your medical condition in order, and you need a man who knows what its like to raise kids. You CANNOT take a single childless man, and dump him into the middle of your tornado life and expect that he already knows the coping skills it takes to hang on. So...my best advice. SEPARATE! go to couseling. privately and together. If at the end of one month you still want to run to each other. GO! Till then, you are just making a bad situation worse." I told them how much I love them both and dont wish to see either in this kind of pain.

She went to the bathroom to wash her face. She came out pulled on her jacket, hugged me, hugged him and left to go talk to her g/f. Called her mom to say she wanted to leave the kids there for another hour or two, please feed them. You could hear mom crying about she is going out, come get them! btw, the kids are WAY out of control. they are all acting out since daddy died and no one has suggested they get someone to talk to.

So, my son is back in his room. Cried thru the night. Scratches his head saying "i just dont get it" and spouting on about how much he loves her, and he wants to go running home.

No stress at my house!

DH went fishing in another state, and isnt even here. Im about to chuck the son out to work, close the door and go back to bed! If its still bad in the AM I will call the MD.

[Mariel]

that's an amazing horror story. All the players, including the new girl friend's mom, and the kids. Incredibly complex and sad. And the big player, Death. Death of the girl friend's husband. It sounds like Bambi Meets Godzilla.
You gave excellent counseling to them at a time when you are down yourself. You have achieved many "points", good for you. You said that after they get counseling and it's still "go" for their love, then "go"! Because love matters so much, you were right.

Prayers for healing for all of you.

[dmplaura]

Oh gosh Dej, so much to deal with. No wonder you feel like you're busting at the seams.

[Dejibo]

DS and g/f are back together. I DEMANDED that if they do this AGAIN, they MUST ALL go to counseling, including her 3 kids. They lost their daddy too, not just g/f losing a husband and friend. She is asking things of DS that he cant now, nor will he ever be able to do. He is NEVER going to replace dead husband, and the sooner she sees that, the sooner they will be happy. They all seemed calmer after our 3 hour talk yesterday.

Called the MD who said he can offer me IVM, I said NO. He said he could refer me to a surgeon to fix boil. I said I would work on it more from home. Increased my ativan to help with the hug. Offered Klonopin. I said I would consider it if this bump in ativan doenst work. Wants me on baclofen round the clock. Great now I will be sleepy thru my day. Have some errands to get done today. Banking must be done by me. I am going to put DHs name on a separate account, and put money in it. This way I can allow him control without giving up all my secrets. its rainy and stormy here, so thats always fun.

Why is it they can only offer IVSM? Hasnt the MS world caught up to the rest of the diseases? IVM while great, comes at a price! I dont want to be 70 and wheel chair bound from osteoporosis instead of MS.

They keep pushing me to go on another DMD...im starting to think about it.