[restorativepose]

I had my second visit yesterday to my neurologist (first visit was two months ago, haven't seen him since). He said that my MRI is normal, and the EMG "abnormality" was actually fine too. He used phrases like: "well you could get on the waiting list for the muscular dystrophy clinic", and "well we could do a muscle biopsy and see if it shows us anything". It just felt like he was feeling his way through the dark, and pulling me along with him. He wished me well and sent me on my way.

The information I presented to him, along with dialogue, looked like this:

DAILY SYMPTOMS: Blurred vision, eye pain, muscle weakness when walking, low libido, memory loss / cognitive issues, heat feels terrible and makes symptoms worse.

WEEKLY SYMPTOMS: chills, dizziness, brain fog

EVERY 2-3 MONTHS SYMPTOMS: "buzzing" legs feet hands, unsteady walk and afraid of falling.

The neuro explained that the MRI of my brain and cervical spine was normal. "If there was something neurological going on it would have shown up by now."

But dam*, whenever I walk more than a few blocks I pay dearly for it, in all kinds of ways! Blurry eyes, seized up painful leg muscles. And if I *really* overdo it I wind up feeling depressed afterwards.

I'm trying really, really hard to remain peaceful in this. But I am feeling lost.