sorry to be long, but I need to get this out-

Saw my neuro yesterday. He said I looked like carp, to which I told him I took my first bath in 4+days to try and look good! LOL I am in a flare and need steroids again (oh joy ) He told me offically I have MS.

First he had me go for a urinalysis to rule out infection since roids can really screw you up if you have one. I call at 11am for results. Assuming that is negative he will start the insurance authorization process to line up my infusions. {he did clue me in that a lot of insurance companies are now requiring this test to approve infusions now}

I thought I was fully prepared for, & accepting of, the eventual words (diagnosis). Turns out ,I held out some glimmer of hope it wasnt the monster- and would be something else. I guess I had grown ok with highly probable too much

I wasn't ready for the feelings of anger, sadness and just overwhelming "feelings" that hit me once I heard his actual words "Jane you have MS, have had it for a while and its getting worse". He said them with care, concern, professionalism and grace - but it hit just the same. True, I am the type who needs to hear it straight, not danced around or avoided. But feel like I got sucker punched in a way that I wasn't expecting...

At least there is an up side or two: medical forms are suddenly easier to fill out & I have found a world of friends here. just need a day to lick me wounds?

((hugs)) hang in there.

It is painful to have a neuro disease which is hard to diagnose. I do not know how neuros can stand it! Let alone patients.

I remember the day. I said, "What a relief!" and then I cried.

Jane,

Sorry you have to join us as a documented MSer. We will do all we can to support you.

It's important to feel your feelings.

ANN

I called my MD an A**hole and asked him if his momma dropped him on his head as a baby when he suggested that I have MS. I was really upset. I had way too many things on my plate for him to try to slide MS under the door. I came home spitting mad!

It's a double edged sword. How can we feel relief and terror at the same time?

I remember getting my diagnosis. I was convinced I had a brain tumor. I was ready to hear the worst. When the Neuro said "you have MS" the first thing I did was smile. Then laugh. He thought I was a nut! The look on his face was enough to make me laugh!

Once I explained to him that I had diagnosed myself with a brain tumor.....he understood why I was so relieved. Yes, I realized I had a serious condition but the wave of relief I felt was enormous.

It's hard to hear that you have an incurable condition. We think we're ready to hear it......we want to hear it after being in limbo for so long......but it's still hard.

Take some time to let it sink in. Give yourself time to comprehend it all. Then know that we're all here for you and with you.

Jane...

Yes, I was relieved to finally get a dx. then, when the syringes arrived, I sobbed...it made it so real.

I still have days, more than 3 1/2 yrs later, that I believe the docs are wrong. Then a symptom slaps me upside the head and says, "Believe it now?"

Exactly!!! to all of your comments. I suppose, like with all those "moments" in life, we end up with a variety of feelings/reactions - usually bouncing back and forth. I suppose this is called 'being human'

I remember the day I got my dx. I was 22 with 2 baby girls at home. I could hear the doc in the hallway asking "which room is she in? ok, then I'll start at the other end of the hall." Ok, that was not a good sign I thought. He finally came in and gave me the news. All I could do is cry. I worked at a nursing home at the time, and we were getting a new patient who had MS. I cried so hard with my co-workers, that I was going to end up like that! Well, 20 yrs later, I had a great run. I didnt have any major problems until this past October. I did so much better than my brain ever let me believe! Hang in there!!