I hear you Chris. That should answer Jena's question as well. Anger is most distructive if you either hold in and let it fester or use it to lash out at someone else. Otherwise, as you say, a healthy and natural response to something horrible foist upon us.

I didn't actually ask a question, lol, but that's ok That is basically what I was trying to say - letting anger get to the point where it DOES eat you up, can and will have a direct negative impact on our health, and that is just something we obviously don't need! I truely believe this.

I should also say that there are so many other things in my life: joy, contentment, laughter, love, appreciation and admiration for the people who care for me and have stuck with me throughout this terrible journey I am taking. Concern for them, too. MS does not happen in a vacuum. It's a sad and stressful experience for them to have to witness what is happening to me, yet they stay, offering comfort and help that is a lifeline to me. I am truly blessed by their presense in my life.

Amid the spiritual wreckage left by MS, they remind me that I still believe in love. That love is all that matters; as everything else is stripped away, love will remain.

Chris

You're right Chris, Sally and others -- When I'm angry, it's from frustration of this disease that has taken over my life and not at others. If I have a good cry, yell out a few d#%$& and other choice words to myself, it's getting rid of those feelings instead of turning them into ulcers or directing them at others.

Take yesterday for example....btw, Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's!! I knew none of my "kids" had plans to visit me so I kept my usual sleeping times of going to bed around 8 am and staying in bed til 6 pm or so. I'm not sleeping the entire time, in fact I watched/listened to most of the NASCAR race, but when I did wake up -- what a mess!! Guess I don't realize my bladder being full anymore, couldn't get to the bathroom in time anyway, hurts like h&** to move, legs completely stiffen out, etc. I do have a good-sized waterproof pad on my bed, wear that "beautiful designer underwear", but apparently it's not enough. Feel like my kids as babies in the morning when their diapers would leak and everything, including them, was wet and smelly. Now isn't that something to get mad about!? I think so!!!!

Ask for help?? Who?? No adult kids in the area, no one comes in on a daily basis, my two friends are here Wednesdays and even though they say "call if I need anything", lately there have been logical reasons why they couldn't.

Anger.......hurt......sub-human feelings......one Mothers Day phone call when I was sleeping and two email cards, neither of which I could read with the web tv. This disease has taken me away from my family so naturally I'm no longer included in many of their social, family plans. But when they need something, I'm first in line trying to help even though anything physical is no longer possible. Financial, yes, and it gives me great pleasure......my love for them is still there.

They have no clue what daily life is like for their mom.....I love them, but can still become quite angry with them at the same time. If this disease wasn't here, at 63, I'd be enjoying time with them and my beautiful grandkids. Anger -- feeling "left out" -- frustrated -- of course, and MS is to blame.

Actually, when I said "Ask for help?? Who??" I was quoting Judy. There have been several times when I would have willingly have asked for the physical help I needed, but there was nobody to ask. And I agree, Judy, anger and despair in such a situation is natural and rational. I'm glad you're talking about it here, too. My own experience with this sort of anger is that talking about it, bringing it into the air, helps to validate it, making it less corrosive and helping me to move on. If I don't do this I get stuck in the anger, and then it is damaging.

Chris

aaah, ok, did not see that, thanks!

I live in Greenfield Center, which is just outside of Saratoga. Upstate.

All of my anger with MS comes from frustration. Messing up underwear and clothing when potty training happened successfully many years ago. Having each attempt to reinvent my life shot down in flames by MS. Teaching a student and knowing the proceess would be better and faster for both horse and rider if I could just get on her horse. Falling out of my WC because I thought (silly me) that I could pick up something I dropped. Lying on the floor for multiple hours because I can't track down someone who can pick me up. And so on. I'm fairly patient. But at times my frustration levels are so high they boil over in anger.

Chris