You're right Chris, Sally and others -- When I'm angry, it's from frustration of this disease that has taken over my life and not at others. If I have a good cry, yell out a few d#%$& and other choice words to myself, it's getting rid of those feelings instead of turning them into ulcers or directing them at others.

Take yesterday for example....btw, Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's!! I knew none of my "kids" had plans to visit me so I kept my usual sleeping times of going to bed around 8 am and staying in bed til 6 pm or so. I'm not sleeping the entire time, in fact I watched/listened to most of the NASCAR race, but when I did wake up -- what a mess!! Guess I don't realize my bladder being full anymore, couldn't get to the bathroom in time anyway, hurts like h&** to move, legs completely stiffen out, etc. I do have a good-sized waterproof pad on my bed, wear that "beautiful designer underwear", but apparently it's not enough. Feel like my kids as babies in the morning when their diapers would leak and everything, including them, was wet and smelly. Now isn't that something to get mad about!? I think so!!!!

Ask for help?? Who?? No adult kids in the area, no one comes in on a daily basis, my two friends are here Wednesdays and even though they say "call if I need anything", lately there have been logical reasons why they couldn't.

Anger.......hurt......sub-human feelings......one Mothers Day phone call when I was sleeping and two email cards, neither of which I could read with the web tv. This disease has taken me away from my family so naturally I'm no longer included in many of their social, family plans. But when they need something, I'm first in line trying to help even though anything physical is no longer possible. Financial, yes, and it gives me great pleasure......my love for them is still there.

They have no clue what daily life is like for their mom.....I love them, but can still become quite angry with them at the same time. If this disease wasn't here, at 63, I'd be enjoying time with them and my beautiful grandkids. Anger -- feeling "left out" -- frustrated -- of course, and MS is to blame.