Some here know that I am planning to move and that I'm in the throes of looking for where that move will take me. I'm in a little denial about my level of disability and have been steered toward "assisted living" locations.

The thought of a place that smells like 8th grade biology has me in a serious cloud of despair. This is not how my plan was laid out, not what was supposed to become of my life. If I'm destined to be trapped indoors, I guess it doesn't much matter where I land, a bed is a bed.

Sorry, I'm really not that whiney, there is a huge wash of reality staring me in the face, and I think I can hear its evil laughter.

I think you need to sit back, let the your place come to you.... I thought that had already happened? I know it is close to being a year away though.... that came to you you didn't come to it - maybe you need to let the "idea" come to you. Just when you are not expecting it!

Hello AfterMyNap,
I don't believe we've met before, however you sound quite down right about now. Are you at all self-sufficient? (Sorry, I haven't been reading the boards much) Perhaps a move to a warmer climate would help? My husband and I recently moved from FLA. to GA. due to his emplyment situation. We were given the choices of several cities to choose from. After visiting Chicago, Boston, and Philadelphia in the middle of the winter I made the decision that I wouldn't have been able to tolerate the extreme cold again (I'm originally from the UK), and I am working at the moment.

Have you thought about moving to a city that has a large university? I know that whilst I was training in NYC, I lived with an elderly woman who needed someone to help her out with grocery shopping, laundry, and other household chores. In assisting her, I was able to live with her almost rent free, and we really did enjoy living with one another. To this day we keep in touch with one another.

I just thought that might be an idea to throw out that would let you keep your independence (you seem young and spunky). Don't make any rash decisions before you've looked into every possible avenue. One never knows what's out there until you've exhausted all possibilities. Whatever you do decide to do, I'm sure you will have the backing of your lovely family and friends.

All the best,
Chris

Thanks, Chris, I'm fiercely independent and flit about this country like a lunatic in a race against my disease. I'm self-sufficient for now, but going downhill at a frightening pace.

I have chosen the foothills of the Blue Ridge mountains, specifically, western NC where there is still winter, but a very mild one. I like my sweaters!

When my apartment hunter asked me about my level of disability, there was a striking moment of reality in my heart and mind. I once was an avid outdoors woman and my mind still thinks like one, not like that of a 44 y.o. whose body is failing at an alarming rate.

Here I am a couple weeks ago down on the Blue Ridge Parkway during my apartment hunting expedition. What the picture doesn't show is the good strangers I met helping me to the spot for the pic. One of the gals was keeping my balance for me so that I could stand in the pic. I'm in total denial, this is not happening to me and I am refusing to let it. Yet, when I fall off a chair or can't make it to the bathroom, the truth floods my thoughts.

Try not to worry about my mood, I need to learn to accept some things and I was just feeling like a big baby. I took a nap.

Oh, the cardboard chick is my good friend, Cardboard Kay (a.k.a. FlyFishin Momma), sometimes I miss her so CBK travels with me for laughs.

Hello again AfterMyNap (love the name),
It's difficult for me to make out much in the photo. Are you talking about the Asheville area? It's quite lovely up there. We've been several times with my in-laws. They have several sets of friends who have retired up in that area, and it has become quite popular with not only retirees, but people of all ages because of the lovely scenery, and all of the wonderful cultural things there are to do in that area.

I know there is an Art School in Penland, NC which is not too far from Asheville. Perhaps putting an advertisement in something similar or of the like of a "Craig's List" may enable you to find a someone to live with who is willing to help you out with the day to day things, yet allow you to remain living in an independent situation. We recently moved to Atlanta, and quite surprisingly, we LIKE it. I've only lived in NYC, and FLA., so was very skittish about moving to the deep south. If you'd like, personal message me, and I can send you my email address, and we can communicate that way.

Best of luck to you in your decision. Moving is tough on anyone-let alone moving to another part of the country. Whatever you decide, I'm sure you will be happy; you seem to have a great attitude.

All the best,
Chris

Hiya AMN. I'm not sure you're cut out for an ALF. You'd have them dropping like flies from laughter. Not good for the rental turnover...

Seriously. My mom is in a lovely ALF. That being said - she's one of the youngest there at age 65. Same with the previous place she lived at. I think you'd be bored to tears and ticked at the lack of privacy and the lack of independence (eat on their schedule, shower on their schedule, go to Walmart on their schedule, ....)

There are some nice senior communities (for active seniors) that might be more your style. One level, open floorplans filled with active people.

I love the idea of bringing in a college student - nice little symbiotic relationship . There are also active seniors who would love to come help you out for a few bucks - they need the companionship, you need the help.

Just my rambling thoughts after seeing my mom in an ALF for the last couple of years. She won't live with us, and didn't want to live in a senior community on her own with a helper - she wanted the community of being with other people, but at the same time - it makes her sad that most of her friends are 10-20 years older and are losing their minds.

I hope I'm not bringing you down - I think it's smart to think ahead and I know how independent you are. You'll find the right solution for you.

HHUUUMMM Now if there was a couple less folks living in this one place I know it might be the perfect place for that MS center......

AMN knows where I mean................HERE on my farm....what a blast we could all have.

Thanks, you guys. It's just that gnawing thing in my craw.

Chris, yes, it's the greater Asheville area that I've chosen. I agree, the cultural and convenience factors were on my mind. Also the climate. The median income level and education levels are also more to my liking. I like the way rich people live... and I like the way I live when I'm with them.

My dear Gretata, I agree with you entirely about ALF, but the not knowing is making me nuts. I lived alone for 20+ years and loved it; I have every intention of going back to that life one way or another. I'll figure out how to do it, I promise. When my hunter brought it up, it just shocked the snot out of me when I heard myself thinking about it.

Before my mom died I lived in one of those apartments where it's for the elderly and 10% under 62 who are disabled. There were 20 of us against the world! It did get on my nerves that they always watched me and wanted to know everything I was doing, kind of living vicariously, I suppose. I used to bust a gut when they asked me if I "really needed that thing" (my wheelchair). I'd say no, I just wanted to get attention.

Sally, when I win the lottery, your plan is soooo coming to fruition! I've thought it all along. Just build a joint that rocks and has a lot of open air and privacy. A fishing pond will be mandatory along with a trout stream out back (accessible from the custom-designed boardwalk out over the water). The best part will be that I'll own it, so if I don't like you, you can't live there. Cool chicks only!

Well poopy, Cindi. I don't know what your Family/Friends situation is, but Chris has some good thoughts.

I wish we could all pool our resources and open up a MS retirement home, complete with A good Doc, a nurse or two, a Chef, an entertainment director and of course a swimming pool with some cabana boys to cater to our every need.

Is this so far fetched? It could be doable? I'm a Widow, living alone and I'm not looking forward to what your not looking forward to, either.

Maybe we can come up with something better. Cheer up, Pal, I'm with Ya.

Not that's an idea!