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Old 03-18-2008, 07:05 PM #171
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Moose is right. EM has no sex for the next month or two. His Spouse is way too tired , after being out spending all his money.
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Old 03-19-2008, 12:44 PM #172
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Your Bwahaha a-Mooses me
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Old 04-03-2008, 11:50 AM #173
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I do see EM has a wife...he needs someone to tell him...that its all in his head and he just doesn't care if it gets done or not! Oh, and that the garbage is his chore cause he da man!!

Oh yeah and that he is also to keep the yard clean... and can only eat what his wife cooks. He can listen to her say: Me Too everytime he complains about a symptom!!

She will also attend each doctor's visit and still not have a clue...pore ole soul, his torture is never ending.
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Old 04-04-2008, 08:44 AM #174
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Empathy Man sure does sound real!!
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Old 04-04-2008, 10:46 AM #175
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stops in and drops a few thin boards with common pins sticking up out of them for EM's walking pleasure...

I'm having a pins and needles day already and I think I need someone else to have one with me!
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Old 04-05-2008, 08:23 AM #176
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riverwild View Post
stops in and drops a few thin boards with common pins sticking up out of them for EM's walking pleasure...

I'm having a pins and needles day already and I think I need someone else to have one with me!
Perfect! After he walks across your boards he can put on four pair of wool socks and a pair of boots that are 2 sizes too small and go grocery shopping! Without the list, of course, it's forgotten at home with the handful of coupons he so carefully went through.

After driving past the grocery store twice - btw he's been there umpteen million times - he finally gets it right and pulls in the parking lot.

Of course, the ONE handicapped space in the entire lot is taken so he parks oh about twent spaces away from the door - on a hill pointing straight down.
After his door closes on his leg twice he finally gets the strength to push it open with his foot (which he cannot feel) and struggle out.

Once in the store he cannot remember one thing on the list so just cruises around putting random things in the cart - none of which will make a complete meal.

Great deal on dog food.......he saved $2.00 on the large bag. Too bad - he has a cat.

All finished - pushing the cart to the car. Have to hold on tight - parked on a hill, remember?

No cart return anywhere in sight - should he just leave it there to roll down the hill or try to push it back up the hill? Leaves the cart behind the car to go start the engine and cool the inside off before going home. Totally forgets the cart behind the car - leaves but takes a look in the rearview mirror - WHO would have left a cart in the middle of the parking lot like that? Stupid people......no respect for others. Glad I'm not like that he thinks.

Get's home - takes mail out of mailbox - get's an interesting card from a friend - goes inside forgetting the groceries in the truck (including ice cream and milk). Fixes a glass of sweet tea and relaxes - only too happy to remove the too small shoes and wool socks. Ahhhhh......time for a nap.

Later.....looking for snacks - starts a grocery list (again) because there is nothing in the house to eat!!!
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Old 04-05-2008, 12:18 PM #177
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EM is showing signs of aging, today. Sooooooo, along with the usual MSessy stuff, he also has extra aches and pains of aging.

First, we send him to the pot to do his usual and of course can't PEE! Then he gets in his stair lift, goes to basement, where he transfers, oh so gingerly, to a WC. He pushes the dirty clothes over to the washer, with his feet, whilst manually wheeling. Loads the washer, adds soap, and hits go button.

Then he turns off overhead light, that electrician left on last week, with a pole reacher thingy and wheels over to furnace, to change the filter. First he must reach up, out of reach, to turn off furnace....(pole reacher, again).

Then wheels around to the front of furnace, takes front of furnace off, again gingerly, and takes out old filter...Ugh! Puts new one in, won't fit at first so tries again...@$%#@...it works! Then gingerly puts front pieces (two) back on furnace...walla!!

Much too tired to wait for wash to put in dryer, so heads back to stairlift....OOPS...forgot to turn furnace back on....wheels to back of furnace and, gingerly, turns back on. Almost too tired to transfer back to stairlift. but, gingerly, He makes it.

It doesn't end here, but he's much too exhausted to talk anymore. Poor guy...You know that too tired to talk or type feeling.

He flatens out on the couch, only to have the dog cry for food and water....OOPS...forgot.......................
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Old 04-05-2008, 12:58 PM #178
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EM just had a smelly accident at Wally's, and no clean underwear, no clean clothes...man, glad I don' t have to clean the vehicle!! People are walking two isles over to avoid him...
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Old 06-18-2009, 10:10 AM #179
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Here Sally. Here is Empathy Man back! Stick him in the oven or something!
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Old 06-18-2009, 10:33 AM #180
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Good idea Taffypuss, but let's put some warm fuzzy boots on him first and maybe slather him up with lard, then put the oven on Broil

I feel better aleady..
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