[summerjc07]

I am getting really down the last couple days. My final MRI is monday and my Dr. is hoping to give me a diagnosis monday at the follow up.
I am getting depressed and considerably down about facing diagnosis.
I know MS is not the end of life just a different normal.
My therapist is not addressing any of the medical stuff as a contributing factor to anything. So I am looking for a psychiatrist that can prescribe something to help for a while. And maybe a differnt psychologist. I am not sure yet.
I am trying to focus on what I need to do on a daily basis and my laundry is piled up, the dishes need done but I can't find motivation for any of it.
On top of it I have a cold and I really like I got hit with the fatigue truck. :/
My daughter is going through evaluations for developmental delays and she is 5. I want to just push all my stuff aside and take care of her stuff right now too but I can't. sigh.
I am finding myself getting on her wanting to just complain but that is not going to do any good either. I just want my life back but I dont even know what is gong on yet either.

[SallyC]

(((((Summerjc)))))

[Sheep13]

Hi there,

People often say they know how you feel. They really don't. I am going through very similar at the moment. My final MRI is next week. It will decide my diagnosis too.

You have to give yourself a break. I'm a neat freak and I hate to let dishes sit in the sink and laundry pile up but we have to give ourselves a break. Just be a bit more gentle on yourself. My partner is at end of year exams and assignments for the end of his degree. I'm trying to support him as much as possible while getting used to meds and trying to mentally deal with my upcoming tests and diagnosis.

I try to see it this way. I've already had all the miserable symptoms I could possible get except blindness so I know what's coming. I've had all the bad stuff already. It just means there will be a name for it all instead of having a big bag of problems.

I'm on a good medication now that is helping a lot of my symptoms. You will find it much easier to cope when your pain and symptoms are medicated. It takes some mental stress away and helps you to think clearer.

I couldn't imagine feeling this much better before I was medicated. I was very sad a lot and felt very down. I couldn't imagine I would ever feel "normal" again.

You are allowed to be sad, angry, frustrated, confused and whatever you want to feel. Everyone copes differently and takes varying times to get used to new conditions. Sometimes you can also be a little selfish. I need to remind myself that I am important too as much as I need to be there for others, I deserve people to help me too.

I hope you start to feel better soon. I try to rest on the bad days and whoop it up on the days I have energy and feel a little better. Grab every little bit of fun and happiness out of the good days. It helps you through the bad ones

[summerjc07]

Thank you!
I think it would be better if my family wasn't still hoping everything turns out completely normal lol. They are all in denial. I can't talk about it because i get the "oh just wait until monday and dont worry about it yet maybe its nothing" So I just want to glare at them and ask them where the lesions came from and that they are not there for fun lol. I dont want to be debbie downer either so I have started holding it in.
But seriously thank you for you response!

[dmplaura]

Acceptance by those around you is a tough one. Some simply don't understand. Some are in their own denial. It took my parents a long time to come to terms with the fact that I was diagnosed with MS. They realize the diagnosis now, but they certainly can't comprehend what I go through each minute/second of each day.

Hang in there, it sounds like you're ready for 'the worst', but I looked at my diagnosis in a positive light. I made a lot of life changes - for the better. I jokingly (only partly joking) say I would have been worse off without the MS diagnosis. It really was an eye opener - and my body's way of telling me things needed to change.

[summerjc07]

today is better. I have been having really bad monthly depression episodes since january and I am addressing those next week with a psychiatrist. I think for the time being with the mood swings, my daughter being evaluated for developmental issues, and MS I need a little help temporarily.
I got some stuff to do around the house today and then we are having cake and ice cream for a belated bday for my daughter tomorrow. She turned 5 last week

[SallyC]

So glad you are feeling a bit better. I wish your DD well in all of her
evaluation tests. Tell your Family that you have enough denial going
on your own self and need more support from them, through this
tough time.

[TXBatman]

One thing I have found that helps me feel more in control when I get too many things trying to drag me down is make a plan. Make a list of the things that need doing or that are bugging you, then make a plan to deal with each of them in order of priority. Then do your best to stick to that plan and use it as needed to beg out of other things to stay on task. If you get too far off plan, reset the list, reprioritize, replan, then move forward. Sometimes just having a plan for how to deal with it all can make it seem more tolerable and less overwhelming.

[msarkie]

Oh honey, I truly do feel your pain! The only thing I can't really relate to is the child with developmental delays, but everything else you write about sounds so familiar. I wish I could give you a hug and make it all better!

Please consider your diet & nutrition. I'm becoming more & more aware that "You are what you eat" is the absolute literal truth. Magnesium supplements make the difference, for me, between being a raving psycho one week a month or being *relatively* normal. Even such simple things as food coloring or added sugar can wreak havoc, if you're sensitive to them. I'm sure you've heard this all before, but it really is worth a try.

I hope you feel better and that your child does well!

[agate]

You must be very concerned about your daughter but it sounds as if she's going on having a pretty good time, what with the birthday party. Belated happy 5th birthday to her!

How did the MRI go?

It's good that you're finding a psychiatrist and/or psychologist to talk to. Realizing that your problems are becoming difficult to deal with is a major step. So many people are too proud or too much in denial to seek out help from those whose job it is to listen to us when we need someone to talk to.

It's hard to be upbeat when you are worried about your own health and your daughter's development. Sometimes we just have to let ourselves feel down for a while and hope that tomorrow will be a brighter day.

That probably sounds like standard nonsense but I really just mean to say that I hope you're feeling better now in spite of everything that's going on.