I'm not sure how it will be living with my family again. I know for sure I am not the same quiet, pretend I'm invisible, I don't deserve to be treated well person, I used to be. So, I may have to find my own place.

I don't work out here. Boyfriend didn't want me too because the wear and tear on the car would be greater then the income earned. He wanted me to get mentally healthy. So I'm getting better, and can't live with him anymore. Go figure.

I can always come back here, if things don't work out. I've got friends from darts. And a second family out here and in The Springs. When they found out I was from OH I was immediately accepted and they are all teriffic. The thing is the dart community is close and traveling in the same circles as soon to be ex-bf would be so uncomfortable now. Especially since he's got 15 years more time out here. Given time it would be easier. Can you tell I like to do things the easy way.

I talked to my dad tonight. He is supportive. Just said "I know you've been unhappy for a while, don't know all the details". He thought coming home was a good idea. I also talked to two of my friends from OH and NJ and they are supportive too.

I'm having trouble keeping quiet. I want to tell him so I don't feel like I keeping a secret and blindsiding him, like I am. I'm worn out, drained. All done yapping for now.

Okay, Beth, it looks like you've given the decision a lot of thought and you have applied the guidance offered by your trusted advisors.

When you're ready, feel free to tell us how you feel about the decision.

Today is lovely in MI, it was 54° when I woke up, sunny, but no breeze. It is now 65° and the humidity feels like it's going up. But, the coffee's good, the critters are busy and 14 turkeys are doing their morning rounds through my yard.

Today my big objectives are errands and deskwork with a little outdoor time. Woo hoo, my life is way too exciting!

I just woke up wondering if this is the right decision. I'm sure it is just my devils advocate side always arguing both sides, so much so, I paralyze myself with indecision. I'm notorious for letting life sweep me up and being disappointed with the results.

I'm so ready to tell him, that I'm leaving. I hate feeling like I am keeping alive hope for him. After he knows, I can start going through my stuff openly. I can talk to friends in the dart community that know us both. I'm the only one he brought into the world of darts, by my request. So everyone who knows me connects me to him.

What to do, what to do?

Sounds like an exciting day. My objective today is to have coffee on the deck with my dog, Holly, no arguments today with anyone. And go see a movie.

Well...coffee was great. Holly had a good time chasing the ball. So far no arguments. And we went to see Ratatouille.

If you haven't seen that movie - GO SEE IT!!! It's hilarious!

Well, I was on a mission and the mission was a bust! I was looking for two things and no one had what I wanted. Serves me right for going to Gander Mt. and ****'s... strictly cosmetics when it comes to real gear.

Our EMS closed and I'm lost without them. Now I have to go to our local guys and listen for 45 minutes to their tall tales about hunting/fishing experiences when the Edsel was still on the road. bleah.

Yeah, I'm a regular sweetie tonight.

EDITED TO ADD: LMAO!!!!!! the name of the sporting goods store that got blotted is the four letter nikname for Richard! That is too oooo funny!!!!!! I feel much better now!

LMAO! so you can't say D I C K ' s? Tooo funny.

What if your name is D i c k? what do you do?

Well...big day! Got the big landscaping job and we start on Wednesday! Well, the crew does. I go to Portland. And we got another little one day job, today, too, that will start after the big job! I am sooo excited!

I will take lots of pictures! Yeehaw!!!!

Good deal on the jobs, FG!

My neighbor's name is **** but I call him, "Whata".

Yeah for you FG!! Yes, we want pics... Wish I had plans to do something..

Hey AMN?? You wanna get banned here, just like you did from HB's???

Yep! Yeah FG! You can plant it! Yeah!

AMN banned from here? Don't listen to the pip-squeak! (DM)