Good for you Mike!

Stay away from toxic people. If your MIL won't let you do things your way, give her choices - she can see you on your terms or not see you at all.

Not to steal your thunder on this thread, but I've had to do that with my in-laws. They have chosen to ignore the fact that I have MS. If we don't talk about it, it doesn't exist...so that's what happens.

As you know I have been in a clinical trial since last January and I go to Portland for tx. That's where they live. I will not stay with them b/c they don't allow me to be "sick" after my shots. So, I stay with my brother or a friend. I feel like I have been run over by a truck for 24 hours after tx, and need rest, sleep, and not be on a time schedule.

My H says I should stay with them and just go with the flow. He doesn't get it either. I am the one who is sick, not him, not them. I am the one who suffers if I do it their way, not them. If they were sick, I would most certainly bend over backwards to accommodate them, but they can't see it. Therefore, I just avoid them. It's their choice.

Last time over, I did stay there b/c we had a family wedding to attend. (H went with me.) What happened? FIL was sick with a cold. Didn't bother to mention it. Guess who is now very sick with that same cold - ME. And not just a simple cold - sinus infection, too. If I had known he had a cold, we would have stayed elsewhere. To them, it's just a cold, no big deal. Geez...

Rant over...back to you Mike...do it your way! It's easier on you, less stress. And you have control. It's your life.