[SallyC]

Ok, it's time to talk about how our MS/Illness is treating us. Are we worse, Are we Better (shut-up RW.)

Me first.....I am actually feeling a bit stronger. I've been stretching and doing a little more exercise lately and it seems to be helping me. I am able to stand, on my own, for a bit longer. Not bad for and old Babe..Huh.

Mentally, I'm still suffering from anxiety, but not every day. I think most of it is the season and I get aggrivated at not being able to do as much as I used to do. What can I say...I'm my own worse enemy.

All in all, I shouldn't complain....but I do...LOL!

Next?

[Jappy]

Some of my problems have gotten a little worse. I can't walk as far as I did. The pain starts and I loose control of which way I want the leg to go. I have been having more vision problems.


The problem that has me really worried is my memory. That seems to be getting worse. I don't know if it is because the anxiety has gotten worse or God forbid it can be something else that I don't even want to think about.

The pain in my muscles are getting worse. The medicine does not help like it used to. I know I am still better than some people. At least I still can take care of myself.

Got to think positive. That is the what keeps me going. But I am sure you know there are times things are so bad that all the negative thoughts come around and really get you down.

Joyce

[AfterMyNap]

Hm. Well, MS still sucks and having it doth sucketh too. I'm not snapping back from my road trip as I had hoped, but still waiting.

For the first time in my life, I think I'm afraid of what is ahead (if I'm involved, there will surely be danger).

On the up side, I don't give a crap and I'm just going to keep on doing what I want to do and worry about the rest later. If I lose my reckless abandon, I will have lost all.

I am heading out today into the retail jungle to make use of all my $10 free merchandise coupons. It must work on most people to entice further buying, but for me, it's a game to get free stuff. I'm thinking socks.

[tovaxin_lab_rat]

Can I just say I feel like crap? Probably not.

I just got back from my neuro appt in Portland for this trial. Flew over on Monday, uneventful. Spent all day Tuesday at the hospital. Flew back Wednesday, uneventful. All in all the flights went very smooth! That's a plus! Yeah!

My day Tuesday: MRI first thing in the morning. Then my appt with the coordinator for the battery of tests. You know, the wonderful "put the pegs in the hole" and the PSAT, and the walk. Then the exam by the neuro.

That didn't go so well. When I asked if I could do one day of steroids to get through this damn brick wall of fatigue, it would put me out of the study. Or maybe get me out of the pain cycle I am in, it would put me out of the study. Dangit...now what. So, he did an exam and my EDSS went up one point (all sensory - can't feel the pin pricks!) so no "protocol defined exacerbation." So, no steroids. But what he thinks is going on is a sinus infection which could be root of the problems...makes sense.

I've had this stupid sinus stuff for over a month. Seasonal stuff for me so I don't pay much attention to it. I am not sleeping well. Changed my meds to Soma, seems to be helping. Changed my pain meds from Vicodin to Nov10. Already upped my provigil to 400mg, doesn't help at all.

They are going to have the radiologist read my MRI (which is sealed) for non MS related pathology. But I am calling my PCP today for antibiotics.

Maybe not a rant, but I am so tired, and in pain. Not had this kind of pain before. There is a lot of stress in my life right now, and I know that is a contributing factor. Just too much going on.

The bright spot was that I got to meet an employee at the hospital with whom I have been emailing who is a member of another MS forum. She surprised me while I waiting for my MRI. Then afterwards, we had coffee...her treat! It was nice to meet her!

The icky part was the hour it took the lab to draw the 13 vials of blood from me ...only two more appts until the end of this part of the trial! Two more blood draws Tippy!

Socks AMN???? I LOVE SOCKS!!!!

[AfterMyNap]

Bummer FG, looks like this thing is really kickin' yer butt again. Ugh, I hate it, and I hate what it does to us. How soon until the trials are over? I thought it was Jan. or Feb.

Sock lover here, too. I'm a bit of a sock snob, I have certain kinds I like and the rest are garbage. I survived the retail jungle and now wonder why I bothered. I didn't score any socks, no one had the kind I like, so I ended up adding to my enormous jammies collection. Not sure why I'm so addicted to the stupid things, maybe it's just that they're my main wardrobe anymore.

[tovaxin_lab_rat]

Sorry you didn't score any socks! Bummer! I found some really cool socks in Boston!

This phase of the trial is over April 1st. It's bad when I ask for steroids. Even one day. But I guess since I am not on anything except symptom meds, I guess we can just play with them.

I have an appt with my PCP this afternoon re: this sinus crap. Actually, not with MY PCP, he's on 3-month sabatical to study for boards. I am seeing one of the other docs. If it was him, he'd just call in a 'script, but the other docs want to see me. They don't know my hx! Yuck. Now I gotta get dressed and go out in the cold here today - it's 24 degrees! But the sun is shining!

[SallyC]

I'm sorry your not poppin back as before, Cindy. That does sucketh.

If you go to all that trouble to go out for cool socks, you'd think you could, at least, find some. Oh well, such is life. Bah!!

Originally Posted by AfterMyNap

Hm. Well, MS still sucks and having it doth sucketh too. I'm not snapping back from my road trip as I had hoped, but still waiting.

For the first time in my life, I think I'm afraid of what is ahead (if I'm involved, there will surely be danger).

On the up side, I don't give a crap and I'm just going to keep on doing what I want to do and worry about the rest later. If I lose my reckless abandon, I will have lost all.

I am heading out today into the retail jungle to make use of all my $10 free merchandise coupons. It must work on most people to entice further buying, but for me, it's a game to get free stuff. I'm thinking socks.

[Taffy]

Did you have to mention the red stuff FG?

I feel like crap also.

All the MS demons are coming back and at once!

Hands, feet, feel like pins and needles!

I can't think straight!

I am tripping again. (over my foot...jerks!)

Stabbing pain that comes and goes in my leg.

This needs to all stop.

I have lots to do!

I really do need to be Tuffy. (but I don't think I can.)

[Chris]

I really am ambivalent to discuss this as I was hoping things were going to be different at this time of the year for us, but alas it is not. Unfortunately, I have still been unable to conceive or maintain a pregnancy, and we had said that if by the end of the year if I was not pregnant I would start on Tysabri, and we would start on the adoption bandwagon.

While I feel happy about starting back on something for my MS again, I feel like I have failed in the female department for some reason. I know there are many others out there who have gone through what we have, but for some reason at this time of year, it's really harder on us than at any other time of the year.

I guess it just reminds me of all the ways that my body has failed me already. At least I still have you lot!

[tovaxin_lab_rat]

Originally Posted by Taffy

Did you have to mention the red stuff FG?

I feel like crap also.

All the MS demons are coming back and at once!

Hands, feet, feel like pins and needles!

I can't think straight!

I am tripping again. (over my foot...jerks!)

Stabbing pain that comes and goes in my leg.

This needs to all stop.

I have lots to do!

I really do need to be Tuffy. (but I don't think I can.)

Tuffy...I am sorry you are not doing well...