[Jodylee]

On Monday I was having what I thought could be "ms hug" type pain. I called my neuro's office and "Shari" answered. I explained what was going on and she told me she would call me right back after she spoke with the doctor. She called me back and told me to go to the er that my neuro is affiliated with. ARGH! I did not want to go, did not want to call my dh to take me. I hate the er and doctor's in general LOL.

I said to myself "well, I better go because the doc will be po'ed at me if I don't". I called my husband and he said "you're going". So I went. They doped me up, did bloodwork, a urinalysis and sent me home.

Background on my neuro: MS specialist with years of experience. Recommended by the MS society. They have a desk set up in his waiting room. He's the doctor that dx me in May last year with active lesions on my brain mri and with the space and time criteria.

I already had an appointment scheduled with my neuro on Tuesday.

(I am so angry/confused I just went and smoked a cig in the middle of this LOL)

I go in on Tuesday, doped up on Lorcet from the er. The pain is getting a lot better at this point. My doc says to me when he comes in "So how have you been since your last visit?" HUH!!!! I told him I spent the day at the er the day before because that is what he requested! He says "I knew nothing about this, apparently "Shari" thinks she's a doctor now or one of the other neuro's in this office sent you".

He was angry because the hospital didn't call him or do any x-rays because I was having pain that was increasing when I took a deep breath.

As the visit is progressing (my husband was with me), he does all the usual neuro exam things like the finger to nose test etc. I remind him that I'm starting Ty on the 13th. He looks a bit surprised??!! Then he says "How long has it been since I sent you for your last T-spine mri?". I say "NEVER"! He writes a scrip for the mri and wants it done before I start the Ty. At this point I'm getting just a tad irritated with him !

He has all of my medical history. I also have spinal stenosis and some compressed discs in the c-spine area dx by an ortho years ago, which my neuro knows about. My pain could've been from this, maybe??!!! I was in a bad car accident in 1997. Wheel-chair bad. He knows I've been seeing a therapist for years for anxiety issues.

At this point I'm ready to get the he!! out of there. I've not had these types of problems with him in the past so I'm really confused by all of the bs.

When I get to the sign-out desk to schedule my appointment for next month I turn around and see that my husband has disappeared?!! The girls at the desk tell me he made a u-turn with the neuro.

I wait in the waiting room for my husband to reappear. When we get to the car I asked him what the he!! that was about!

He tells me that my doctor slipped him a note and wanted to see him alone!!!!


He told my dh that he thinks that I'm exaggerating my symptoms because he's never seen a patient who is able to walk (with or without aid) not be able to pass the finger to nose exam. He says to my husband that I do have MS but I'm EXAGGERATING. He tells my husband that he thinks I should see a therapist and to call the MS society for a referral. My dh told him that he's known me for 23 years and that I don't exaggerate symptoms. He told him that if anything I down-play them so I don't have to go the doctor LOL. For god's sake, I don't even have a pcp or gyne because I truly despise going to the doctor. (Don't tell me I should; I know that already)

I am furious because of this violation of trust. I think my neuro should've talked to me about this issue, not my husband. What if my husband was an idiot or abusive!!!

I really don't want to change doctors. I've got enough carp going on right now. I'm starting Ty next week at the infusion center in his office! I'm going to try and give him the benefit of the doubt. I will go in for my next appointment and "discuss" these issues with him .

What do you all think??? Even if I was a loon who exaggerates symptoms (believe me I even started to doubt myself after this, until my dh told me to wise up), he shouldn't have gone to my husband.

[momXseven]

OMG, I want to say I can't believe he did this (talking with you DH), but I can. My neuro seams like the type that would do this.
I can't believe that "Shari" decided her self to send you to the ER and never even tell your Dr., That's NO RIGHT.

I have had times when I wasn't able to do the finger to the nose test and still was walking that day just fine, and you were on Lorcet at the time.

If this were me I would give him one more chance but than if your gut says it's not going to get any better with this Dr. than I would fine a new Dr.

Try not to worry over this too much, whats done is done.

And I'm with you on the hating Dr.'s thing, this is why I haven't seen one in about 2 years until all this crap started to get too much for me to deal with.

[lady_express_44]

My answer (rage) would be quite long, but I'm not feeling so good (and my thoughts are disjointed, sorry) so I'll try to keep it short. Lucky him!

Firstly, as you know, there are people who exaggerate/over-dramatize things, and some people do have a low tolerance to change or pain, etc. Hence, my advice would not be the same for everyone, . . . but in your case, he is wrong.

Besides going outside patient confidentiality, which he has clearly done, he has not treated you personally with respect and trust (does he hate women or something?). That would be the crux of the issue for me, and I would not want to keep seeing someone who felt that way about me.

He hasn't done his homework on your background/test results, and it seems he hasn't done the proper testing to determine if what you are saying could be true. A spinal MRI is what's necessary before he could even consider a conclusion that you are exaggerating (even though my doc and neuro would absolutely take what I say at face value)!

I'm wondering if perhaps he has you confused with someone else? He might have had a conclusion in his mind already, based on "someone else" entirely, or on your past visits, and his bias about the nose-touching test just "proved it" in his mind. Doesn't really matter why he did it though . . .

Frankly, I wouldn't even waste my breath on someone like him. He is not worth your emotional energy, and believe me, this kind of chit is harder on you then finding someone new.

Cherie

[suzyqz_2007]

Wow! I hate that you had a bad experience with a doctor you are supposed to trust and count on. I would be so mad and I certainly wouldn't give him a second chance! But that is me. I would have never left the parking lot, I'd be back up in that office to confront him about discussing my situation without my permission (even if it was with dh). I would also be concerned about what kind of treatment he is giving me if he feels I am exaggerating or possibly has me confused with someone else. If I couldn't trust him to keep my personal information straight and private then I'm not sure that I could trust him taking care of me. I'm all for giving someone a second chance, but when it comes to something as important as my health and well being, well there are no second chances. Like I said that's just me though.

I sincerly hope that everything works out for you and all goes well with your TY treatment.

Susan

[Jodylee]

Originally Posted by lady_express_44

My answer (rage) would be quite long, but I'm not feeling so good (and my thoughts are disjointed, sorry) so I'll try to keep it short. Lucky him!

Firstly, as you know, there are people who exaggerate/over-dramatize things, and some people do have a low tolerance to change or pain, etc. Hence, my advice would not be the same for everyone, . . . but in your case, he is wrong.

Besides going outside patient confidentiality, which he has clearly done, he has not treated you personally with respect and trust (does he hate women or something?). That would be the crux of the issue for me, and I would not want to keep seeing someone who felt that way about me.

He hasn't done his homework on your background/test results, and it seems he hasn't done the proper testing to determine if what you are saying could be true. A spinal MRI is what's necessary before he could even consider a conclusion that you are exaggerating (even though my doc and neuro would absolutely take what I say at face value)!

I'm wondering if perhaps he has you confused with someone else? He might have had a conclusion in his mind already, based on "someone else" entirely, or on your past visits, and his bias about the nose-touching test just "proved it" in his mind. Doesn't really matter why he did it though . . .

Frankly, I wouldn't even waste my breath on someone like him. He is not worth your emotional energy, and believe me, this kind of chit is harder on you then finding someone new.

Cherie

Thanks, Cherie.

Actually, LOL, my dh waited to tell me what the doc said until we were half-way home. He KNEW what I would've done. Logically, I know you are right. I have so much other stuff going on in my life (my mom is having some major health problems right now) that I seriously don't know if I have the energy or inclination to look for a new neuro right now. I'll be going to Pittsburgh from Florida for an extended period between neuro visits.

I have quite a temper when I'm pushed. He has definitely pushed me. I will talk with (AT!) him on my next visit. If I don't feel comfortable after that; I will be looking for a new neuro so fast his head will be spinning.

Thanks so much again.

[sugarboo]

Unbelievable Joelle! I'm speechless!!! WTH???

I'd love to be a fly on the wall and watch you in action on this one!

Sitting on pins and needles to hear the update of this story!!

Next week on "Survivor"!!!

[greta]

If it were me, I would calm down a bit and then write a letter to the neuro, explaining that in the future, you expect to be treated with respect, and not like a child. If he feels you are exagerating, then he needs to discuss it with you. His conduct was highly inappropriate.

I would find that new neuro so you can walk away from this one ASAP. You need someone who will work with you and not against you.

[HSPCraig]

I would give the guy ONE (1) more chance to explain himself and the actions of "Sharie" on HIS staff. Who did she consult with anyway.

He is way out of line and violated patient confidentiality by going to your husband privately. (Unless you listed him on your neuro's documents as one to share information.)

My gut feeling is to find a new neuro especially before you start Ty. Just to make sure everyone is on the same page.

There is no excuse for what he and his staff have done. Also, why didn't the ER call him when you came in for treatment? You did tell them he referred you to the ER, correct? You could have been having a heart attack based on your symptoms. As we all know, symptoms for women are different then men.

I'm ticked on so many levels about this. Cheri hit the nail on the head!

[FlyFishin Momma]

O-M-G GIRL.....

Did ya get the shouting on that? I dont even know what to say....what a jerk......I dropped my first neuro over carp like that. He had the nerve to look at my dh and ask him "Do you know how much the DMD's cost?" Tim said yes the he tells Tim we probably couldnt afford them. This was within the first few minutes of our very first meeting of the man...
HOW THE HE77 WOULD HE KNOW?

I just wont see a dr who has no respect for his job.....and that job would be to take care of me and my best intrests in order to improve my health....NOT STRESS ME OUT AND MAKE ME WANNA CRY OR KILL HIM.....

KICK THAT JERK TO THE CURB.....makes ya wonder what else he
1) is saying behind your back
2)really thinks about your illness
3) is really going to do to hlep you get better.....

THAT IS NOT A SECURE FEELING TO HAVE ABOUT YOUR DR............

Are there other drs in the area you can see? I would so totally be checking that out.
That first neuro I dumped was 1 1/2 hours from home for me each way.
I switched to a neuro whom was 3 hours away each way just to get a good new neuro!
It is well worth the drive for me....knowing the quality of care and treatment I get there now......

Bless your heart...and like you said also...thank God your dh is a good guy.....!!!!!!!!!

Craig....even if her dhs name was on the release info to list....SHE WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE. He should have discussed with her in a more professional way his thoughts and concerns...not going to her dh like she was a nut case and couldnt be told that....

I say again ...O-M-G!

Keep us posted and if ya ever need to talk....you know how to find me lol....

[barb02]

I understand that with everything that is going on right now that you also do not have to find a new neuro. I also understand that you do not have to wait on starting the tysabri. So I guess I would also write a letter as suggested by Greta. Then if you are not satisfied with his response, you can look for a new neuro when things calm down. I think sometimes it is easier to be logical and express your feelings/thought in written form.

Oh -- I also wanted to add that your neuro sounds like a complete *#*!