Thanks so much everybody !!

I've been talking to both of my boys/men (my oldest is almost 21) about sex openly since they were small.

Believe me when I say my sons, know ALL of the consequences of sex, . I have been drumming it into their heads forever, lol.

Since my mom got a cancer dx in February, it feels like our lives have been turned upside down and inside out. With her living a 1000 miles away from me, it has been so difficult flying back and forth from Florida to Pittsburgh. Now with Tim sick too, I have had to take over a lot of things that he was doing before. My boys are definitely helping but they are going through a lot too. They grew up very close with my mom.

I have NO family here in Florida. They all live in the Pittsburgh area. We are totally on our own here. I have a couple of friends that have MS also that live nearby but other than that we have nobody. We've only lived in South Florida for 2 1/2 years. It's tough to make friends when you aren't working or doing much else.

I'm having a really hard time with Tim's illness. I feel selfish. He's always been the one that I can count on when I feel terrible.

My husband works in a physically demanding job. He has not been to work in a month. Fortunately, he has short term disability. We both work/worked for the same company!! I was diagnosed last May (I was just approved for LTD) and now he has Crohn's along with our son! I'm betting they are plotting on how to get rid of my dh right now ! Thank goodness we are both union employees. Tim is such a hard worker. I know this is just about killing him being this ill and not going to work. So far they have been very understanding .

I miss you guys, I'm gonna try to post every day ! It'll keep my spirits up for sure.

Joellee~ You know how saddened I am about your Mother. I know how hard things are for you right now. Seems like everyone needs you, and there's just so much Joellee to go around. Your emotions are really being spread thin.

I can't make anything better for you, but I can say that I understand part of how you feel and I am praying for you and your family.

Please make time for yourself even if's it's just a quiet bath w/candles.

Sending prayers and hugs your way.

if it had flowers i would flood the post with flowers for you joelle, I know your plate has been full lately, wish i had magic words for you, please try to find time for yourself, so you dont imploded(ouch) try to take care of you, ok


peace

Joelle

I am sorry about what's going on in your life right now. I understand about the problems of moving into a community and not having family and the difficulties of making friends when you don't have anything in common...it's tough! It's work and when you have health issues like you do...you just don't have the energy ...

You have the support here, you know that.

I called my mom at the hospita yesterday morning. She's decided to halt all treatments. She has fluid in her lungs and around her heart, a c-diff infection, massive sweling in her legs, and a lot of pain. I totally support her decision as do the rest of the family. I'm still a 1000 miles away from her because I have to be here for my dh and drive my son to the gastro tomorrow. I'm really scared that I won't get to see my mom again. I wish I had known before I left Pittsburgh that it would probably have been the last time we'd be together. I'm very worried about my dad. They've been married for 44 years. I can tell over the phone how despondent he is, which is perfectly natural. I wish I could be there for him too. OMG this is just so surreal to me. I feel like a mouse on one of those stupid wheels. Running in place and getting nowhere fast. Sorry agan guys. I hope to be back to my silly self some day .

Joelle I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom's latest problems...I know how hard it must be to be far away and not be able to visit whenever you'd like to. Sounds like you're being pulled in umpteen different directions and it's totally understandable to feel overwhelmed and stressed. One suggestion for your Dad (and you, too) is to go ahead and contact Hospice. They can be of so much help to ya'll long before you're ever to the point of needing them for other services. They are truly a blessing and helped me out immeasurably when my Dad was sick. I was the primary caregiver for him and they are available for the whole family - not just the ill person.

How's Tim doing? Any better? I hope he's getting stronger each day and can be of some help to you before too long.

You're due for a break and I've been praying for you and your family each and every day. Call me if you need to talk - I've not wanted to bother you 'cause I know you have precious little time to rest. I'm glad to see you posting again......

Joelle no need to apologize! I am so sorry for everything you are going through! Just know that you and your whole family are in my thoughts. I pray for strength for all of you during this difficult time! It must be difficult not being there for mom and dad. Take care of yourself too!

Thanks again all! Tim is not doing very well . He's running a low grade fever and is feeling very nauseated from the meds he's on. All three meds have nausea as a side effect but they are the most effective for treating his type of Crohn's. He may just have to go through an adjustment period with the meds. I told him 'welcome to my world' LOL. He did not find that amusing, teehee. Oh, I forgot to mention that I hardly ever drive because I'm just a bit cog foggy, I still drive better than most of the idiots in South Florida though, LOL. I really don't have anybody else to do the driving right now. I gotta get my men to the doctor somehow. I'll just turn on the old gps (a life saver by the way) and go!

Don't be sorry, J, it's better to process those emotions than to let them fester under some "social norm". You're only human, give yourself a break.

I'm so sorry for all that your mom is enduring, it's unbelievably difficult even when you are right there. I was, and I felt much of what you describe.

You've done all that is in your power to do for her and your dad, that says a lot.

I'm so sorry! I was in your shoes about 2 years ago, but my mom was in Oregon and I'm in Pittsburgh. I know how hard it is.

My mom couldn't ever have any treatments because of how far gone her cancer was by the time they caught it. She was so sick that it had weakened her heart and she wasn't strong enough to try anything.

I did fly out for a period of time ~ 10 days before she really deteriorated. She only lived a couple of months longer. We talked a lot on the phone the rest of that time.

The one thing I keep thinking is that we never know if we are seeing anyone for the last time. No one is guaranteed another day on this earth even if you don't have a cancer dx. Do not beat yourself up over that. What would you have done differently? I am sure she knows how much you love her.

Also, you might end up being able to make another trip to see her if your DH stabilizes. Right now, it feels like you are overwhelmed. Get off that wheel and just take things one day at a time and try not to stress over the things you can't control. I know that advice is easy to give and not as easy to follow, but try.

When I get overwhelmed, I make a list of the things out of my control and sit down and pray about them and turn them over to God. Then, I tackle the things that I can do something about.