On another board where I spend time, there is a separate forum for those with PPMS and SPMS. I very rarely go there, maybe once every three or four months, even though there is much information that would be helpful and/or interesting to me.

Why?

Well, one reason is that I just don't have the time or energy to read every thread on every board. I haven't even plumbed the depths of all the forums here yet, can you believe it?

But I think the main reason is denial. Am I Secondary Progressive yet? Is it just a matter of time?

I think my defense mechanism is, "the progressive forum is not about me, so no point going there." If I see something "those people" are talking about that sounds familiar, I might have to be realistic. Ha. Fat chance of THAT happening.

The wonders a vile of denial can do for us. LOL.

Don't worry, I get that way too. If I am in denial mode, I don't even read threads that pertain to symptoms or anything MS related.

I have been told that I need to learn to cope with my denial as I tend to blame symptoms on everything else but MS; only to learn that it is MS related.

Passing the vile of denial to the next person.

I'll take a sip.....

When I'm feeling vulnerable I tend to avoid posts that bring my symptoms to my attention. Some days I just don't want to deal with it. But....with MS we're always assured that those symptoms will be there tomorrow - or at least come back at some point in time - so I can deal with it then (maybe )

I have yet to understand why we have to accept this or even what acceptance is. Why do so many put so much into acceptance. I look at it this way - The neuro states I have MS. The MRI backs him up. Ok - treat me! Give me meds to make my sx better; give me meds to try to stop this from getting worse or try your best. That is all I have to do.

I don't look at more progressive boards. I don't need to hear it. Not now and I hope never. Treatments are getting better. Will they be in time for me? My fear is not, but I try not to go there. What if I am wrong and they find a cure or a really good drug for me --- all I will have done is scare myself, and worried my self more, if I look at where this crap could have taken me.

I know from general talk, the net, my neuro... I may end up in a w/c. While I am ok in this area now I may later not be. I needed one with my 1st exacerbation and did not have one. Yesterday I called and put it into motion to get one while I have ins to cover it. That is just good planning imo. Not acceptance. When I get the final ins ok, it will be delivered and not unboxed. If the time comes when I need it, I will call and get someone here to unbox, teach me...

While I try to make intelligent decisions; I follow the last piece of advice my mother gave me. I was am and was in a bad child custody situation. In 2006, I gave up almost all 2007 vac rights to my child so I could have her in 2006. Mother said "worry about next Christmas... when it gets here. Things may change." They did and I had more than my rights in 2007.

This decision was unsure and so is MS. I will not worry about it till it gets here. Most others will disagree, but this is my right, and how I feel.

Sometimes I wish I could do denial. Seems I prefer/need to be hit in the face with all the what-ifs and only then can I rest a bit.

What is so great about NT, is that we get to hear so many different perspectives. We are all as different with the ms, and we all respond in a variety of ways. It's our coping skills. We all do what we need to in order to survive the horrible card we have been dealt.

I'm a little different than you. I like to know all the possibilities, because I hate surprises. So I do try to educate myself to some degree, without going overboard. But I am able to do that without letting it worry me a great deal. I am somewhat of a realist. Oh sure, I have my moments when it all gets to me.... especially during an flair up. But mostly, I just deal with the moment, but be aware of the possibilities.

I think your way is right for you. That is what is so great about these boards. We can learn from one another. I'm really just thinking out loud. You just made me think how we all really do cope in such different ways.

I don't know if I'm in denial or I just ignore it...

I went to a neuro last week - first time in 5 years. The trip wasn't for MS - I'm having nerve pain in my leg. I had to tell him I have MS and, to avoid a hassle with him, I took radiologist's reports from 1989 and 2003 that said MS. He had me do a few things (walk, stand on 1 foot, jump, etc) and said for someone that's had MS for 20 years I'm doing pretty good. I told him I just went into an exacerbation. I think I shook him up.

He told me it might go progressive some day. Duh... The nerve pain in my leg? Well, might be due to MS. More testing next week.

Tom

LOL...BTU, I am one of "those people" (PPMS, or some version of it)..I've always felt bad for the RRMSr's who go thru such devestating relapses. I guess this disease just sucks in all its forms. Nothing wrong with a little denial, just don't let it keep you from taking care of yourself!

When I was dx as RR, the neuro did say it was very active and progressive. Which is why he wanted to start me on Beteseron, because it was the only shot that might help the more progressive form. So my dx was RR, but like you, am I really Seondary Progressive? I try not to think about it alot, and think would I be doing anything differently if I knew that... So I guess I would rather be in denial, as well.

But, since you brought it up can you tell me some of the symptoms and things that are occurring that gives you that intuition that maybe you have crossed over?

Thanks so much!!!

Me too, but I thought I wasn't in denial, guess I was. Need a wheelchair now, called insurance, a wheelchair person came and measured me to have custom chair made, will take awhile! Had Canadian crutches, walker ready before need but as DH says, he's been telling me for a year, get a wheelchair. Luckily I could afford a break-down less expensive travel power chair and can use it in house until I get the other. Like to think I'm ready for anything, but I wasn't. But like going to AA, I can say "Hi, I'm Kicker and I'm PP." But I needed a wheelchair sooner, not later.