[RedPenguins]

Well, previous to my HiCy experience, I didn't look "sick" or disabled. Yes, I used a cane at times (less than I should've used it, that's for sure!) - but I didn't look disabled, ya know? I didn't exactly get funny looks when parking in a disabled parking spot - I always felt weird and would almost unconsciously limp as I walked away from or towards my car. I know, insane.

Now having undergone chemo - while I still don't look "sick" - I am, however, bald. I don't go out bald - I usually wear a hat (a funny hat that my friend crocheted that looks like one of the Ugly Dolls). However, being that it is 100+ degrees here, wearing a crocheted hat is hard!! My poor sweaty head. LOL. So, I switched to like a scarf type thing (not a big fancy one but not a bandana...somewhere in between). Well, it's pretty unmistakable that I've had chemo.

I will tell you this much: people - well, strangers, are a lot nicer to me. Not that they weren't nice before, but it's almost like they trip over themselves to help me.

Example #1: I was in Best Buy (electronics store) - and I was at the register and was asking a question about a product and I wanted to know where to find it in the store. Well, the employee said it was in the back of the store and that he'd go run and get it for me. I told him that I'd go get it - but he totally insisted on going for me. If you don't know - this isn't usual behavior of people at Best Buy - NOT notorious for good customer service. In fact, it's usually near impossible to get anyone to pay attention to you, let alone help you. It wasn't until I was back in my car and looked in the rearview mirror and realized that I looked sick (but not sickly)....and it really explained this unusual encounter in the store.

Then the other day, I was at a park...lots of people, there was a band playing, etc. I was walking to where my blanket was set up - and this woman came up to me. She was wearing a bandana on her head - had VERY short hair. She had come up to ask me if I had had chemo. We then stood and talked for quite a bit...she was very nice. I commented on how I liked her bandana (a sage color with peace signs all over it)....and after we parted, I had sent my friend over to ask her where she got it from. Well, a little later - this woman came up to me and gave me the bandana!! It was SO sweet...and a moment I will surely not forget any time soon.

Tonight I was out shopping and the people in the store were also tripping over themselves to help me! Again, not in the way salespeople usually push to help (let alone in stores where salespeople don't ever push to help).

I don't like that I look sick - but it is so amazing since often with MS - you don't look sick and so no one might know that you were sick or suffering. It's not like I wore a badge that said, "I have MS and feel like $h!t"...but that was the truth of the matter. Now that it's more overt - it is just different and a little weird. Of course, most people just think I have cancer. (almost wish I did over MS)

Anyhow, not sure why I posted this...just wanted to share the experiences I guess.

~Keri

[sassy]

I'm glad people are treating you so nicely! So sorry for the reason tho.

As a cancer survivor may I tell you MS seems to be a walk in the park in comparison and my cancer was caught very, very early.

[Jodylee]

Oh yeah, Keri, I get treated much better looking disabled (I use a can or a rollator). I had a similar incident at Best Buy a few days ago . Just a suggestion for you: be careful about tossing the cancer reference around so casually. My mom just died from cancer and many of has have first hand experience with it. MS is walk in the park compared to cancer. JMO.

[karilann]

It just proves that some people are ill with symptoms other people can not see. "But you look so good!" syndrome. We really should not have to prove anything. I notice when I tell people is have MS, they hesitate and I see either sympathy, fear, or ignorance in their eyes.
At least in the long run, people were good to you when they knew you were ill....... you found that people are basically good.

[lady_express_44]

Originally Posted by sassy

As a cancer survivor may I tell you MS seems to be a walk in the park in comparison and my cancer was caught very, very early.

Originally Posted by joellelee2000

MS is walk in the park compared to cancer. JMO.

I have to disagree, based on my personal experience with both. Admittedly, my cancer was fairly easily treated, and I lived to tell about it.

My MS has been pure HE!! at times, and there have been more then a few times that I wished something (that they could at least treat with morphine, so I'd be incoherant) would just "take me".

I went into a laser clinic yesterday to take to this guy (who used to be a doctor) about using laser to quit smoking. He said, "to help motivate you, think of the health aspects, blah, blah, blah". I turned to him and said, "It is the $$ that will motivate me personally, because I would much rather die from cancer then die a slow agonizing death from MS". He shook his head in agreement.

Not everyone with cancer has a VERY hard time, and certainly not everyone with MS does either. I think our perspective on this though, is all relative to our personal experiences with the diseases . . . .

Originally Posted by karilann

At least in the long run, people were good to you when they knew you were ill....... you found that people are basically good.

Very good point!

Keri, hopefully after this is over, you won't be "disabled" enough to need much empathy . . . cause you will look and FEEL good.

Cherie

[AfterMyNap]

I've lost two close friends to cancer and one to complications of MS. They were equally horrid to my friends and to me.

Yep, I've noticed the difference during especially bad times. I also notice a big difference in reactions between using my manual wheelchair and my scooter. I think the manual chair looks more "clinical" to people where the scooter looks "fun". For the record, I hate needing both of them.

I've actually had people ask me if I really "need that thing" because I don't pout 24/7 and a lot of the time I'm actually in a pretty good mood.

A lot of times I have had store personnel offer a lot of help to me and I agree, people are basically good. But if you saw me in a lawn chair at a campfire, you'd never know or suspect a thing until it was time to recycle the beer.