[MSDave]

[F]I have been following a thread here, where a woman stated that she had been getting 'overly emotional,' as in crying. As I read the different replies, I noted that several members report that they also get this way in extreme situations, mostly involving either stress, or exhaustion.

Most of those that indicated this, called it... (I'm trying to word it right) out of the normal, I suppose. I too have these bouts of emotion, but weird as it may sound, I simply love it when it happens to me.

You see, after 20 years in the military, I didn't really feel much about anything. I still never do more than a big grim when something is funny, and everything good is met with, "It's alright." Not that I was/am emotionally dead, I just turned emotions 'off.'

After I got out, I didn't really know the emotions were off; not until I was diagnosed with MS anyway. The first time I got emotional was when I had to put my best friend down. She had been with me in the Army, and I brought her home with me. In my alone times when everyone was at work and I was home, her and I would talk for hours, never speaking a word.

Anyway, on the day it happened, the dam burst and I cried huge tears for what must have been 2 whole days. Everyone was kind of worries as I had never done this to anyones recollection. But after it was over, I felt like a newborn child must feel like. Really clean and for once, at peace with myself.

It, (the crying emotional side) does not happen often, but when it does I let it happen and allow myself to 'fully feel' what ever it is I am feeling. I do not get embarrassed, do not apologies for it, nor make excuses for it; I embrace it.

I think getting either giddy, or crying, are the two best ways of ridding yourself of stress, that I can think of. In the past when stress got to be too much, I would go to a range or some place safe, and just fire my guns for an hour or so. Something about that sound would calm me right down. Now however, letting those 2 emotions out seem to do so much better.

I digress, and enough about me anyway. What I was wondering is, if you all, though you might be embarrassed about it, if you feel the same after it is over; refreshed and even relaxed? If so, then why should we, or anyone feel bad about letting ones self get emotional from time to time?

Now I did say either giddy/happy, or having a good cry. Anger and other forms of emotion might be a bad thing and need to be looked at, especially anger and depression, but I'm speaking about those two. Any thoughts, comments?

And guys? I know we are not supposed to do these things, but I'm over 50 and I figure I am intitled to do it if I want to. ;-) So you can speak up too.

Dave[/FONT]

[DM]

Hey Dave~ Over 50 here too, and I really liked your post. I tend to get hurt feelings really easy, but noticed after the passing of my dear Mother, that I cry more often. I agree that a good wailing has been good for me at times. I was so sad and frustrated after my Mom passed, that I could just look at something of hers and cry. Now, I find that I can also laugh at the good times we had.

I found out from her Hospice Soc wker that tears really can be cleansing and therapeutical. And, as far as laughing?? You bet!!! A good hardy laugh is amazing for the spirit. A couple of wks ago, a board bud visited me and we laughed so hard all wkend, that even days later, my face still hurt when I grinned.

Crying or laughing?? I say whatever makes a person feel that their stress is lessoned, works for me. Oh, and I don't think a man crying lessons his masculinity at all. I've seen my own DH tear up many a time. I think being able to feel better through a hearty laugh or a good cry can't be all bad.

*tissue???? Take care Dave.

[Momma's Kids]

Dave...I am not an emotional person outwardly. I have been accused of being unfeeling' at times. This is not true, my family was all military and we were raised as if we were also military. I do what needs to be done in a time of crisis even when I was being shot at by a man who said he loved me.

I think it is fine and well for people to let their emotions run free at times...I do and I feel better afterwards. I hardly ever raise my voice to the grandkids but they know when I'm angry...there are times we all need a really good emotional cry to clean the soul...

I'm sorry you lost your best friend, but glad you found yourself. I have a brother that has never done that...he carries his anger/hurt about things he saw in the Air Force. He carries his anger because his wife left him over 30 years ago...I know he loves his family, but he does not show or tell us.

I read somewhere that: A man is not a man until he learns compassion, not through the tears of others, but those of his own.

[NurseNancy]

what you describe is so healthy.
i don't cry much but when i do i also let it happen and feel what i'm feeling in the moment.

i try to laugh too. good for the soul.

nice post dave

[Snoopy]

I absolutely HATE to cry. I had been raised that crying was a weakness and to survive in this world you don't show weakness....."only the strong survive" was something that I heard often as a kid.

Due to other reasons I learned to control any tears I felt coming on but would cry when it was "Safe." I had "walls" that had been built over years starting very early, they crumbled in Dec. 2003 when PTSD entered my life.

I still feel crying is a weakness but, unfortunately, the tears come and I no longer have "control" so I go with my feelings and let the tears flow hoping someday they will end. For me the tears are just a short lived release that will, at some point, need to be released again. Yet, never feeling like the reason for the tears will ever be resolved, just an on going cycle.

[Kitty]

I cry when I need to....never had any shame in it and never tried to stop it. If it made others around me uncomfortable, well...guess they'd have to go elsewhere!

Crying is so cleansing. It's draining....emotionally and physically....but you "get out" the pent up emotion and I can only speak for myself but I feel 100% better after a good cry.

That being said....laughing is also a great stress buster. We've gotten into the habit of watching AFV (America's Funny Videos) on Sunday nights and I can laugh so hard it hurts! And it's exhausting, too, but in a different way. I have to change the channel right after it's over, though, 'cause Extreme Home Makeover can cause the floodgates to open with me!

I'd hope that nobody feels uncomfortable crying but I know there are many that do. I've learned over the years and throughout many heartbreaking experiences that there's no shame in emotion...happy or sad. If I didn't "let it out" sometimes I'd explode!

[SallyC]

Good Thread, Dave.. Although I agree that a good cry and a good belly laugh is theraputic, too much of either make me physically ill. It was a welcome relief, for me, when I started on Paxil. I was way too emotional, after MS..

I was always an emotional person...laughed a lot and cryed some, but after the MS took over, I cried all the time and It made me sick......I was a mess. I'm on Prosac now and it doesn't make me a zombi like Paxil did, so I have a appropriate cry once in awhile and love to laugh.

[bombi]

Ah emotions, I'm over 50 and pretty much always respond to my emotions. I cry in sorrow and joy and love to laugh. To me it's part of being in the here and now. It wasn't always that way but be older and having two sons that are now men and 2 grandkids and another on the way gets to your soul and heart.
I believe emotions are to be expressed when they are felt, they help bring essence and clarity to the experience and keep the air clear and the ego in check.
I recently officiated at my son's wedding. I wrote the service and directed the ceramony. I would try to read what I wrote to my son and his girl and I couldn't get through it without getting brokenup. I finally found a way to do it. It was to treat the ceramony like a performance. So i went and typed it up in large print , leaving space for timing direction and read and imagined it over and over. I got through it with compliments
Emotions are one of the most real parts of life that we can experience when focused in a positive way.

[weegot5kiz]

Well said Dave, I do also get a bit more emotional now, and i was not one to hide my emotions before MS, but something has clicked somewhere and now its like bing bawhaaa and bong it turns off. Nice post Dave

[legzzalot]

Is it the Army?? My fiance is in the Army and I swear he is about as emotional as any robot could be.

it freaks him out when I cry. Because I am the kind of person that doesn't show emotion I let it build and build and all of those emotions eventually turn to anger and I explode, and then it's over. And God help those who push that button to open that can of anger. He is used to this. He has accepted this as being me.

He sees me cry and it freaks him out. He has no idea how to handle it at all.