I wonder if I'll ever get used to the idea of being disabled? I'm often unpleasantly surprised to find myself whupped after a couple hours of semi-meaningful activity, or by the rude reminder when I see someone go striding by, carefree and caneless.

Even though I'm disabled to the point where I've applied for disability retirement, I'm abled enough that I'd be very thankful to stay at the current balance of ability/disability for the rest of my life.

I can walk (not pretty, but I can do it), drive, see, do most of the things I really enjoy, though not well (type, play the piano, pull weeds, etc.) and my cognitive abilities are such that I'm not yet a danger to society. I could get used to this. I think.

I'm just bad enough that I never really "forget", but just okay enough that I never really adjust to the idea. I don't think I'm making any sense, and I'd probably better go back and keep sorting newspaper clippings.

I have one hand that slightly works, one leg that is 100% dead weight, can't walk 25 ft. even with assistance, have no waste management control, and I have the penmanship of a serial killer on speed. I'm 45.

My definition of disability has been on a sliding scale for over 20 years. I do what I want to do and when I'm disabled there will be a funeral.

I understand what you mean, B2Y. I get it.

I have to agree with AMN, even though I am still fairly new to this i had already noticed a diminishing in my abilities b4 being DX'ed, and since I have noticed more of it and have accordingly adjusted my status quo, works for me, all I can do anyways

I think this is one of those times the type of person you are counts a lot more, yeah i see someone jog by and say twirp I would like to be able to run from the cops again

LOL on the penmanship from a serial killer on speed lol thats how mine looks, and i give it to Deb in a huff and say what the heck did I write lol like she can read it

Jim says he's used to it because there is nothing he can do about it. You accept it or you don't. There is a process of grieving to go through. The denial, anger, depression, denial again, anger again, than maybe acceptance. Then more happens and you start that process all over again. It's a toss up many times. It's OK to feel down about it. If you don't feel emotions that in itself can take you down. So, it's normal to wonder if you'll ever get "used' to what's going on in your body.

One thing I can say with certainty is that I am in awe of my husband and how he deals with his ms. I've been blessed to learn from him that life does not end when you become disabled. For us, it started when he lost his abilities. It really did. We don't take for granted what he can do anymore because you never know when it will be snatched away. Just like that, snap.

Live today as if you were dying.

I get it too, B2Y. I'm a wee bit worse off than you. That could change tomorrow though. It seems that I'm rather adaptable most of the time. I just find new ways to do some things and well...some things I just don't do at all anymore. I guess that's ok with me so I must be accepting it. I am still rather envious of people who can still go to work..and then complain about it . Just like I used to do.

B2Y, I adjust each time something new gets taken away, or added to my burden.

I gripe a little, and then realize need to adjust my *attitude* because that's the ONE thing I can control.

and sometimes even THAT needs a leetle Rx assistance.



so, there isn't ONE big adjustment to aim for, but a whole series of small ones. all along the way.

i also know what you mean.
i'm very slow but still independent.
i use a cane, walker and scooter depending how i feel and where i'm going.

sometimes i see someone walking briskly in a parking lot or store and it hits me, "i used to be able to do that". but then i put the thought aside because to be happier i need to be in the now, not the past.

B2Y,

I do understand.

There are a lot of things that I'm no longer able to do or up-to-doing ... for me the MS has been a very slow progess, so I've been able to "get used" to it.

My current personal motto is this:
I do what I can do when I can do it, and remember it

Niko

You are making perfect sense to me Blessings.. I was just the way you are now, for many years, until my last exacerbation, that led to my present SPMS, disability..

I am mostly scooter bound now....I think it's a combo of MS and growing older. I am just so thankful that I was able to see my DS's and DD start their adult lives before I became so damn helpless.....Oh don't get me wrong, I am still as independent as I can be..

I hope you stay as you are for many years to come and with todays Meds, there is much hope that you and others will do just that..