Great to read all the replies because I have the same question. I have worked in health care for 30 years. Most of the time I liked the actual work but hated the politics. Now that I'm thinking I may have to leave my work I'm feeling sad about it. On my bad days I've always been able to look at patients and say to myself--what I have is nothing compared to that sad case--and that has kept me going for a long time...and, oh yah, the paycheck! I look forward to living a more peaceful life and I trust I will find a sense of worth in other ways. Big hug to everyone in our position.

The reason I think I'm (eventually) going to feel better is that my job literally takes 100% of my energy--guess how much I have left to have a life?

Like Judy, I spend my days off recuperating, and then it's time to go back. I think I'm going to like having a life.

I wish I'd saved some money, apparently having figured I was ten feet tall and bullet-proof, and would be able to work until age 65 or 70. Duh. Oh well.

if my experience helps anyone let me share it...

when i knew i couldn't keep up at work i really thought i could prolong my work life by going partime. i went to HR to check with them. i knew that i would give up my benefit of LTD if i went PT.

i had worked there 18 yrs and paid for the benefit the whole time.
well, i went to PT and that didn't work. i had to quit. and i lost the benefit of LTD so ended up with nothing when i left. except my pension which wasn't that much.

just something to think about if you might be in my situation.
don't lose your benefits.

It is just totally unexplainable how much better I feel since my 'medical retirement'. I now that if I were trying to continue to work along with my MS that I would have several exacerbations due to the stress and no telling what kind of residual I would have had. But quitting was the best thing for me. I quit during an exacerbation so I didn't have to think about it.

I really feel God was giving me a good swift kick in the butt. My work, nursing, defined my life. I had been a nurse for almost 30 years. Loved every minute of it. I was a nurse first then a Mom then a wife. Not the right sequence! I have more energy, have the ability to see my daughters and see both my grandaughters being born. I was able to stay with my daughter for a full week after each girl was born. Now how in the world could anyone schedule that while they were working full time? I can help out with my Moms care. Life is just a whole lot better since I quit work.

But it didn't come easy. I had my days that I cried because I missed it so much. Your proffesion has this living energy that pulls you there every day. Then all of a sudden it's gone. So you just have to fill it with something else. One of my favorite things about nursing was the education I did of students, new nurses, patients and their families. So I still try to educate wherever I am. Even if it's in a grocery store line or telling some one about MS. Oh, I love to tell my husband what to do sometimes!!!!

When I had neuropsych testing the doctor said something that hads always stuck with me. I had been talking about difficulty with word finding and forgetting things. He said that all my memory is still in there. It's just that during times of strss, whether it be physical, emotional or physiological, that the diseased myelin pathways will only let so much go through.

For me, I think it helped that I could make the decision and then follow through over a long period of time.

Admittedly, I did not give into medical retirement with grace. I first downgraded my career aspirations, then limited my hours, next worked from home for 2 yrs . . . before I went down, still kicking. Even then, I originally only agreed to STD, then "temporary" LTD, as I really struggled with facing up to permanently leaving the workforce in my mid-40's. There was so much more I wanted to do.

After feeling sorry for myself for about one year, and going through the difficult "paperwork" process, I finally reckoned with the fact. It WAS, without a doubt, the best thing I could have done to reduce stress, find peace of mind, and protect my health as much as possible though.

It'll take time to adjust, but you will feel much better when all is said and done.

Cherie