You're certainly not a failure! You sound like an open-minded, intelligent person who is doing everything you can to help your MS. I think that's brave and admirable. Keep on doing what you're doing. My grandmother is involved in a very similar group, and she and I have talked a lot about all the meds I'm on. She always says there's no reason why you can't do both without hurting your integrity, and I think she's right. Whatever works!

I think (or hope) that these moments of self-pity can be helpful too. It's good to get it out and clear the air. You may not be able to get rid of your MS with mind over matter, but you can help the way you feel about it, and maybe more. Keep on!