Sometimes I forget and fill out my list
Just as I did in days gone by:
Do laundry
Get groceries
Call Carolyn
Hem pants
Clean bird cage
Cook squash
Pull weeds
Then I notice the fine print,
Just like the warning on November’s ballot:
Vote for two
Vote for ONLY two
If you vote for MORE than two
Your vote will not be counted
And your ballot will be discarded.
Thrown away? Wasted?
It’s discrimination, I say.
It seems as though everybody else
Can make a list and do it all,
But I can only vote for two.

I've been retired due to ms for less than a year. Already I find my relationships with even my best friends (who I worked with) is drifting apart. And when we do see one another we have less and less in common. Partly because I dont feel like visiting and going places often to keep the commonality between us built up. It's not quite as frustrating for me as it is sad. It is a very hard part of this stupid disease to deal with. Glad I have some new friends on NT. You guys don't expect me to dress up and have loads of energy. I can be your friend with my pj's on....

You guys are really hearing me. And I'm hearing you. Here's another excerpt from my life: the Costco Saga

Her: Hey, want to go to Costco?
Me: Sounds like fun. Which hotel?
Her: Hotel? It's only two hours away.
Me: No, it's 100 miles away. It takes me almost three hours, with pit stops.
Her: Then I'll drive.
Me: No, I need to take my car because I have all my stuff and equipment that I need. (And I can control the air-conditioning)
Her: Well, still it's only two hours when you take I-89.
Me: I can't drive in that kind of traffic, I have to go the back way.
Her: I know, you can use the motorized cart in the store!
Me: That will help, but it still makes me exhausted to deal with the noise, the lights, the thinking of what I need, etc. I can't do it all in one day.
Her: Okay, then we'll stay at a hotel. It will only be an extra $50 to stay at Hotel Dump.
Me: Sorry, I need air-conditioning.
Her: Oh.
Me: And my own bathroom. You'll have to rent your own room.
Her: Uh...
Me: By the way, you won't be able to buy much stuff. I need to bring all my medical stuff, my special pillows, my three pairs of shoes, my canes, my rolling walker, and my portable fan.
Her: Uh...well...shall I make hotel reservations for Tuesday?
Me: Go ahead. But if I have to cancel at the last minute, you'll have to pay for the hotel rooms. I can't afford it, because I'm on disability.
Her: You don't really want to go, do you?
Me: No. Yes. I don't know. (bursts into tears)
Her: Um. Maybe we'll do it some other time. I'll call you...

I NEED clothes. its no longer a want, its a NEED. I have been in this back and forth debate with friends, and family for about a year now. We have some local stores like...wal-mart, JCP, Sears, and used to have a fashion bug. We have a Target, but unless your a teenager, your not getting clothes in there. I NEED comfy clothes that dont make me look like an 80 year old lady dressed me. I need fashionable clothes that dont make me look like a teenager, or drunk fashion designer dressed me. Since the only reasonable, fashionable, and doable clothing stores are 2 hours in either direction, I have to make it an over night stay. Since the hubby isnt good at shopping, I have scheduled it with g/fs to step in. One didnt understand because I REFUSE to shop on the weekend. too many crowds. The lights, the noise, the crowds, it saps my energy quickly. I have rescheduled this twice. My poor friend had the day off from work for a Tuesday run, and at last minute, had to go in. Told her boss her plans changed. She has been quite patient with me, but its not as easy any more as "lets go to the mall."

*sigh* i NEED clothes.

Absolutely 100% right on!

The person I considered to be my best friend has all but stopped calling me. I know she's busy....she works full time....but when she does call it's just not the same anymore. I know she doesn't understand or "get it" regarding my MS. I know by some of the remarks she makes. She told me once that she calls to invite me out even though she knows I won't go because she doesn't want me to feel left out. I appreciate that...I really do....but it makes me feel even worse to know that everyone is going out, having fun, and even though I want to go I know I can't do it. Just the process of getting ready to go out wipes me out. It's either or. I can either get ready to go and then stay home....or I can not get ready to go and go out!

Hey, at least I can look decent while I sit here by myself!!

I've gotten to where I just use mail order. It's so much easier and by the time it arrives I've forgotten I've ordered it so it's a surprise!!

My story too, Kell..

I had started the process of weeding out people in my life before my dx for a variety of reasons.

I feel less guilty about it since my Dx.

I think you find your real friends very quickly, those people that truly care about you Understand, they accept that there are things you just can't do and don't make you feel guilty about it. They ask how you are and actually listen to the answers, even the parts you don't say.

They don't make you feel guilty for not calling or going out and are thrilled when you call and say "hey todays a good day want to do something".

They get that you can't plan ahead as much as you'd like because hey you didn't know today would be so good, but you need to take advantage now because tomorrow it could be gone.

Know that its ok and yes we've all been there more than we'd like. Some days we accept it some days it upsets us.

Hope you have a good day today!

Made a small shopping run today. Vermont exit one has an outlet area. Van Huessein has some nice stuff. I went in, found my size, and grabbed several styles, and colors. The attendant was very nice, but since all was on clearance, worried that I wasnt trying them on. I didnt bother to explain to her that to try them all on, and then switch back and forth, would wear me out too much. I just smiled and thanked her. Now that I am home, I did try them on and all but one fit pretty well. So, thats 6 shirts that I didnt have before. sweeet!

I need a nap now.