Myself, I don't try to explain anything. If I am to decline, I do not give a litany of reasons, I simply say that I choose not to attend/accept/appear. If someone doesn't like it, well, they'll just have to deal with that themselves, won't they.

My friends are right there and I do make an effort to invite them for impromptu coffee, etc., even if it's just a matter of giving them a chance to decline my own invitations. It at least tells them that I do value them and want to spend time with them.

Social interaction is a two-way street as is all communication. It makes no difference why you will decline, why feel obligated to offer huge explanations?

I avoid using MS as my catch-all excuse; sometimes, I'm simply not interested in doing certain things. Conversely, sometimes getting dressed is too overwhelming. They don't need to know precisely why, I just ask for a rain check. No harm, no foul.


Wow, Frank. Way to boost your son's outlaw reputation among his new family members! I'm not sure it's fair to expect others to "get it" when we, ourselves, barely do.

I have to wonder about your "so-called" friends' true reasons for turning away if you actually treat people like that!