I go for long periods of time just carrying on my life, such as it is now, without questioning it. Then, occasionally I start to question...why, when, how, etc.

I guess I may never have the answers in this life. It just would be great if we all could have some answers. I guess I tend to want to blame something... so why not blame myself.

I was having a ton of stress on top of being a workaholic prior to the dx. I won't even get into the stress!!!

Sometimes I also wonder if the ms was triggered when I was 17. I had, what they said, was hystoplasmosis in my eye. They did laser surgery, which back then was a big deal. I just remember having to travel several hundred miles to get to a hospital that did the procedure. I remember, getting a shot directly below my eye under the lid, to numb the eye before the procedure. OUCH!

But anyway, after the a few weeks after the surgery, I started having constant headaches, very bad. They were continual after that. The surgeon said, the eye problem did not cause it. And my pcp didn't know.

Also, after that I remember being afraid to climb down bleachers at ballgames unless I could hold onto a handrail. I felt very off balance. Now I think maybe that was a sx of ms.

I guess I'll never know if the eye problem was really the onset of ms sx????

Thanks for listening. I am interested in all of you and things you believe started it all. Because, maybe I'm not alone in wondering why, when, how, etc.

Thanks for listening!!! I don't know anywhere else I can have these conversations except here at NT.

Yep, I think Jim was predisposed. Something triggered it, maybe his military experience? Or maybe working in auto body, being around the chemicals, being hit in the head with an air hose. Or perhaps it was mono or maybe the polyps that had to be surgically removed from his throat? Not a dumb question at all and by the responses, no one knows what triggers it, which in turn makes research so difficult to pinpoint a cause.

I'm curious how long do you think Jim had ms before he was diagnosed in 88? His progressed to SPMS not too many years after that, right? It's just so strange some can go for so long with not many sx and some progress so fast.

You know Friend, we've thought about it but honestly cannot pin point any significant episode that might suggest ms was around before he started having eye problems. Fatigue was always a part of his military career so it's hard to say if that was ms or just normal tiredness. He was a grunt in the field and deployed all the time, never really at rest.

He didn't start having symptoms until we moved to Germany and he was in a mechanized unit. That unit wasn't as strenuous as an infantry unit so can't blame it on that. He was stationed in Germany in November 1987 and was diagnosed in June 1988. He even completed a 15K military foot march prior to receiving a diagnosis. His neuro wasn't too happy with him doing that. LOL He even competed in the Nurnberg male foot march after diagnosis and his medical detachment crew kept walking until they finished the race. They had shut everything down but waited for them all to cross the line.

Prior to that when he was in Ft. Campbell he was deployed to Jordan Egypt, Spain, Canada and Panama.

We did find it interesting that Persian Gulf War Syndrome is now being thought to be what triggers ms in military soldiers. Jim was in Jordan Egypt less than a year before diagnosis. Hmmm.

Yes, I feel it was lying dormant in me, ready to rear its ugly head.
This is going to sound really weird... and I've never aired this thought before... but from a young age, I knew I would become sick before my fifties. I never wanted children; always thought in the back of my mind that I'd not be around for them. Did a brief stint on medical neuro as an RN and honestly, always felt that I would go down with something I was familiar with. Then nursed a few terminal and bedbound MS'rs in the home and felt a weird affinity. Really believed it would be me one day.
Now I know I couldn't have brought it on myself, that's not what I'm thinking.
But there was always a feeling...

Jim has certainly had his fair share of stress all the way around! Life just doesn't deal out the cards very fairly it seems. But I think our faith in God has taught us that He doesn't put more on our plate than we can handle.

Thank you for sharing about Jim. I know I was close to God before my dx, but have learned more about myself and my faith since the dx. Everyday I have lessons to learn and blessings to gather! Seems I'm more aware of this here lately! I guess sometimes I have to learn things the hard way!

I swear I read "Everyday I have lesions to learn..."

Your right, faith is a very important factor in how Jim and I cope and get passed the bumps in the road. Without our faith who knows where we'd be?