Oh Judy! I have walked a fair mile in your shoes.

My DH now does the bills, as the last time I was in charge of the bills I got a bouncy check. I paid a bill out of my play account instead of the household account, and didnt have enough to cover. I had bounce protection, but had not bounced a check since I was in my early 20s. That scared me, and I sat the rest of the month scared that more would follow. I simply couldnt focus long enough for it to all be done properly, and so I was allowing things to slide. My credit rating fell by several points by paying bills late, and we decided that enough was enough. I too wouldnt want my kids paying my bills. it would make them worry about me, and its none of their business what I pay for cable.


You can set up "bill pay" or ONLINE payments, that get charged to a single credit card, and that way at the end of the month you only have ONE bill to pay. The credit card. 99% of the business out there today offer online bill pay. Some even take it directly out of your checking account, so you wont have to worry about that credit card payment either if you can arrange it. You may have to hire on a trustworthy teenager who knows how these things work, but it would all be done, and you wouldnt have to count on someone coming twice a month to help you. Maybe one of your kids can help you get it set up in the name of "teaching mom to be current with technology." and that way you dont have to admit to the cog fog. Just want help to be hip.

I am having one of those "get away from me" days. I am expecting the DS today, and possibly the DD, so I am gonna have to find a way to either get above this, or hide it. They worry so.

Absolutely! That's exactly what I do, and Judy, find yourself a card that gives you points for free stuff! I get tons of free stuff and never worry about having cash on hand. I use my card for every possible thing, once a month, I just pay it online with an electronic check and mark one transaction in my check book.

Heck, I haven't ordered new checks since I moved 9 years ago!

The other huge advantage is, a lot of credit cards now issue an annual summary that categorizes all of your purchases for your tax guy. It's fantastic.

Hey, Judy, A of GG is one of my all time favorites (the one with Megan Follows)!

Thanks Dej and Cindy for your bill paying suggestions. I do have a couple automatically deducted from my ckg.acct, but I was always leary about paying on the web. But your suggestions sure make the whole process sound simpler than writing out a dozen or more checks! I believe my DIL pays their's that way, so she would make a good candidate to show me the ropes! I love her like my own daughter!

Yep AMN, the A of GG I have is the one with Megan Follows. She's terrific! I can identify with her being called "carrots" -- when my kids were little they had to draw pictures of their parents and sure enough, my hair was always "orange"! Now that the gray has snuck in there, I tone it down with dark blonde, but by the time the six weeks are up, it's looking kind of carroty again!

I recently found an article on the Psych Central Newsletter, "Chronic Pain Drains the Brain". Just re-read it and think that's another strike against my "mental prowess" these days. Dealing with pain 24/7 eventually destroys some of the neurons in the brain due to so much activity -- they never shut off like a person's without chronic pain. This leads to sleep problems, depression, difficulty making decisions and focusing. Hmmmmm......sounds kind of familiar!!

Dej -- hope you got through the day with your "company". I was watching the Indy 500 and was hoping to watch the NASCAR race tonight, but it's postponed until tomorrow. That's good since it'll give me something to do then!

This is such a "fickle" disease. It's getting more and more difficult going through the whole process alone, but the thoughts of having other people here, would drive me bananas!!!!

Thanks again guys.....I'll definitely check it out!

You didn't down shift. Life downshifted for you. I guess after the shock wears off, we gradually learn to accept living in the slow lane... not necessarily by choice... and not necessarily comfortable with it... but perhaps, if we are lucky, soon learn to tolerate it.

Hugs to you... it's not easy... is it? You just take care of yourself. It's someone else's turn to take care of the other dozen things that need to be done all at once!

My DS was here yesterday, and raring to go! He wanted to get to this, or that, and woo hoo! wow! he has my old pep. He sat down beside me on the couch while I was putting on my shoes, and said "you ok mom?" I smiled and said "sure! why?" and he said "dunno, its like you dont have that zip that I expect." Too funny that he would bring that up. I explained to him that I have just slowed down a bit, but have no fear, I am the same fun mom that he knows. He made a funny face, and got up to chase the cats.

I am off to no less than 3 picnics today. There are so many folks that are anxious to see us, and these 3 will give us the highlights, and hit the most folks. it was only supposed to be 2, but the son announced he is asking his g/f to marry him at their picnic today, and he would wait for me to come before asking.

I spent yesterday in the very slow lane to save as much energy as I could for today. I have my stay cool kit of a frozen wash cloth, frozen bottles of water, a change of clothes, and shoes in case I want to dunk myself. I just worry that all these folks are going to see that the old Dejibo is shuffling along and not up to speed. I hate that sympathetic head nod they do. Tilt their head to the side, and say "how ya doing hun?" GRRRR! DONT tilt your head at me! it means you feel sorry for me. its a non verbal judgement. So, I know in advance this day is gonna take a bite out of me, but I am wearing armoured undies, and I am ready for the day.

I hope you all have a great holiday.

OMGoodness.......you took the words right out of my mouth!! I HATE that look of pity/concern/sympathy. And the tone of voice that follows.....the sigh and the faces made. Argh!!!!!!! I do not want anyone to feel sorry for me.

Life in slow-mo causes me much anxiety during a holiday weekend. It must be Tuesday, because, I'm feeling normal again.

Amen sister! I am glad to be back to my lil slow lane routine. whew.

I used to be the same way. I'd get up at the crack of dawn and hit the ground running. I could do more work in and hour than most people did in an afternoon. Since I was so good at getting things accomplished people would always ask me for help.

The other day I was trying to identify exactly when things changed. I couldn't name the time so I guess it was a gradual thing. I get frustrated with myself as well as other people. I expect them to work at the same rate I used to.

One of the good things is that I found I used to do things I didn't want to do because people expected me to do them. They don't have that expectation of me anymore so they don't ask. If they do, they do not feel bad if I say no. It leaves me more time for me.

Yesterday I spend about an hour planting seeds in my hanging baskets and planters in the yard. I was by myself taking my time and thoroughly enjoyed it. Slowing down has its benefits.

went to the grocery store today. paid the cashier, and she started ringing up the woman behind me BEFORE she and the bagger had a chance to bag my order. Of course, now the woman behind me feels entitled to nudge me. She needed the Credit card machine to pay for her snapple, and salad bar items. I was in front of it, because DH, and bagger were blocking with a cart, and bagging as quickly as possible. Rude lady leans in to say "excuse me! you are blocking the credit card machine, can you move?!" I took a step BACKWARDS. turned to the cashier, and said "why did you start another order before you finished this one?" Then I turned to the rude lady and said "i will move when its YOUR Turn. For now its MY turn. When my turn is over, i will move forward, and you can have your chance. Till then, PLEASE GET OFF MY ***! I cannot move forward until the order has been bagged. THANK YOU! The cashier FINALLY stepped forward to help bag the rest of the order and apologized to us both.

Why is everyone in such a hurry? you CANNOT take your turn, till mine is over. there was no one in line behind rude lady, and she was pushing like there was a fire drill to get out.