And am super depressed and hopeless!

I have been dealing with a chronic low back and legs disability for the last 10 years and in the last 3 years have scummed to sever depression. My story is on the long side, so in a effort to keep it short and sweet,

3 lumbar surgeries on of which is a posterior anterior lumbar fusion with rods and screws.
My first surgery was a laminectomy, I was killed on the table and had to be shock 3 times befor I was brought back to life. I woke with major trama to my nerve.
My second surgery was also a laminectomy and I was 5 month pregant with my son. I had to have emergancy surgery due to becoming paralyzed from the waist down.
My 3rd surgery was my fusion, which was unsucessful.
I have a perment drop foot, half of my right leg is parailyzed, and also damage my right knee from falling so much, and now need a knee replace to boot!
I now am now having new issues with my spinal cord in my thorasic spine after a fall I had a little over a year ago. And am in the process of finding out what exactly it is. My pain level is out ragous and just the thought that this as my new pain level is over whelming to me.

I have tried to do everything I can on my own to make my situation better with no prevail. I go to the gym every day, I do yoga, I have done research on my situation and tried to implement them, and I force myself to do things even though every bone in my body says otherwise. And the doctor look at me as though I am a lost cause.

I am desperate and don't know what else to do. I have to be there for my kids and my husband, but have no support for myself.

I see everything in my life slowly falling apart, and do not like the person I have become, but have no clue how to get back to the person I was.

And if that isn't enough to send someone over the edge, my husband now is pressuring me to move our family to a whole different state away from our extended family, and everything we have all known our whole lives, not to mention his good job, to start over fresh some where new.

I am so overwhelmed and am hoping to find some support and understanding folks in a similar situations.

I look forward to getting to know everyone!

Thanks for reading, hopefully I kept it kind of short! If not, Sorry!

Hello Dirtygirl and WELCOME to NeuroTalk!

I see you have found your way to our Depression forum

Here is another forum that may be of interest to you.

Spinal Disorders & Back Pain
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum22.html

Please feel free to roam around and join in anywhere!

If you have any questions or need any assistance please do not hesitate to ask. Someone will always be around shortly to help in any way that we are able.

I look forward to seeing you around the board.

Abbie

Welcome to NT

Please... no need to apologize.

You should read some of mine.

Each person has the right to read or not read.

I did find putting things on NT helped me in many ways, to deal with it more intently, I guess.

I also found a lot of answers. Tons of support.

I also found helping others, if just one, hopefully more, by my experiences, I feel it's been worth it all.

24/7 suffering is a terrible state to find oneself in. Totally undesireable...

We do understand.

Hello and welcome, happy to see you have come to be with us, it a great place to be. As you can see we have a great number and caring fellow members here, we are a supportive and relaxing place. Have fun looking into the different forums. Our shoulders are here for support in many ways.

Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Darlene

dirty girl


Phyllis