I'm a 54 year old woman who has worked at a computer fo 20 years. I have gone to the gym 4-5x week for nearly 30 years, lifted weights, done cardio. I have been a semi-vegetarian for 18 years (fish only). I'm 6'0 tall, 165#. 2 1/2 years ago, I tragically lost a son. 6 months ago I abrumptly started having neck pain, stiffness, inability to turn my head, numbness on the right side. I recently had an MRI that indicated severe cervical spondylosis. I'm really in shock about this and what I am going through. I do have an appointment in 2 weeks with doc to evaluate me.

I chanced upon this board this A.M. I would appreciate your input as to the relationship between grief, emotional stress and my condition. Did it cause it or exacerbate it? Is it reverseable in any way? Can any dietary changes help?

Thanks for your feedback.

Hi Bonnee,
So sorry about the loss of your son.

I'm thinking your symptoms are more related to age & how long you have been doing computer/desk work.

I have some questions about your pain /symptoms.
Have you had any hand or arm pain at all? upper back pain?
How is your posture overall?
any previous car accidents/whiplash?

you might want to visit the thoracic outlet forum also as well as the spinal forums.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=24
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=22
We do have a forum for Grief and Loss
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=51

Hi, ((((((Bonnee) <<-- those are hugs!!

Welcome to NeuroTalk.

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your son.



I lost my younger Brother to suicide over 40 years ago. Because of my inability to know how to cope with that...and because I was not allowed to talk about it...and because I didn't know how to cry, I spent decades teaching myself about suicide and grief and coping and MORE.

I've got a theory. Keep in mind that I'm no kind of expert, except the kind that's been forced by life experiences to learn how to cope. I believe that some of us (*ME* is a real good example) actually get physical representations in our bodies of what's actually going on it our heads. I believe that it's no accident that humans have come up with terms like "pain in the neck", "pain in the @$$", and too many other ones to even list here.

I know that when I feel that I'm pushing myself to do something that I don't really feel like doing, I get the sensation in my back of being pushed from behind -- pain in the back. Put your hands in front of you and make a forward-pushing motion -- see where you'd feel it if you were standing in front of your hands??

This next example is funny. I was taking care of my Mom at home in hospice over 20 years ago. I was working 40+ hours a week. Taking care of Mom and my son when I got home. Supervising hospice and home health care workers. I woke up at 3AM dreaming of huge 6-pound bugs named 'craps'. I sat on the edge of the bed and started thinking "your mind uses puns to communicate...what does 'bugs' mean?? -->> who's bugging me?? my *MOM*!!" I sat there and laughed hysterically for half an hour This is sad and tragic and funny all at the same time. But, the laughter helped me to cope as long as I needed to.

I've discovered a little trick for communicating with your inner self. Get some big sheets of paper -- newspaper size. Some big fat crayons. Then sit down on the floor (if you can) and draw your pain. What does it look like?? What color is it?? How big is it?? If you're being really honest with yourself, you'll find the *WHY* of the pain. But, even more than that, you find out what your body has been trying to tell you for a very-very long time.

Bonnee, I know how much pain -- psychic and physical -- and grief can bring to your life. I held onto the pain of losing my Brother (the other half of my soul) for almost 13 years -- until I finally got HONEST with myself and sat down in a psychiatric hospital with good therapists and support from my husband and support from our son -- and finally started to face what was hurting so much.

I believe very much that our bodies "talk to us". We seldom pay attention. We ignore the flu to go to work. Heck, I've ignored a broken foot to go to work. We commit ourselves to every part of our lives except *OUR SELF*.

I hope that you start paying attention to your *INNER BONNEE* and get (and give) the love and support and help that you need. Coming here is a good first step.

Since 'grief' is a particular interest of mine, you might be interested in my bookmarks: Grieving (press the [page-down] key two times to get to the appropriate section. If you're a reader, you might also want to go to your local library and get anything you can by either Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross or by Rabbi Earl Grollman.

I'm glad you found your way here. The forums that Jo recommended have a lot of caring, supportive people that can help you on your journey.

Hugs.

Barb

I am really touched by the kind and caring responses to my post. Thank you so much, Jo and Barb.

To Jo..

I have some questions about your pain /symptoms.
Have you had any hand or arm pain at all? upper back pain?
How is your posture overall?
any previous car accidents/whiplash?

I have had arm & hand numbness all day today on my right side. Even my right leg, my right foot. It seems to move around a little. My neck hurts and is creaking more than usual. My hand joints feel stiff today. Low energy. It's as if I'm having some sort of exacerbation. The discomfort is really difficult to handle. I just try to lay down with heat packs.

As far as my posture...I try to sit up and stand up straight. I have great core strength from exercising and I do yoga and am flexible. Being 6' feet tall in a world meant for shorter people presents it's challenges...counter tops are too low for comfort. Cooking for hours in the kitchen is impossible now without extreme pain. No car accidents or whiplash, but profound, long-term emotional stress, i.e. tension in the neck. I'm also a grinder (TMJ). I still work in front of a computer all day. I've got things set up in an ergonomically correct way, but still, its computer work.

BTW, I have arrested ostopenia; been taking Fosomex for 7 years now. I have not lost any height. My bloods are all within normal limits. Cholesterol is 140.

To Barb..
Your heartfelt message about your brother meant a great deal to me. I'm afraid that my other 2 boys are faced with what you went through. My anxiety over them being okay is a constant concern.

I loved all your ideas and insight. I intend to pursue every single one of them. Thank you so much.

Bonnee

I have cousins that are 6' and over and they tend to slump, roll or hunch their shoulders.
Plus adding in your many yrs of computer work- made me wonder about the repetitive injury angle or TOS.

I was thinking that possibly your head /neck alignment might be forward of the body also {looking down at computer screen -or up if raised to high} which will cause stress to the c spine.
Causing changes and pain and muscle spasms.
Some with TOS have TMJ symptoms and c spine issues too.

Have you considered an expert chiropractor?

Jo,
I think you're 100% right on all of the above. I caught myself just reading your post on the computer screen. I have never been to a chiropractor, although I've considered it, I don't know what to look for, expect, ask for, if he's hurting me or helping me. I know people swear by them, but what would they do for my situation? I'm certainly open to the idea if I have some guidance, but I fear hesitant or fearful for some reason as if my problem will be worsened. There's a chiropractor in the medical building where I work who just moved in. I chatted with him. He wants the medical practice where I work to refer patients to him.

BTW, the docs who I work for (geriatricians) already sent me for 7 sessions of PT and 7 sessions of acupuncture. After there was no improvement, I went for the MRI and discovered what was going on. I have a strong suspicion that I have similar issues in my lower back, because if I stand for 2 hours in the kitchen (which I have to do today) I'll be having severe spasms down there.

I bought a little support that held my shoulders back and it actually helped some, but it would ride up after a few hours and instead of being at the bra level, it would end up on my neck by noon.

I'm going to need all the suggestions I can get on how to manage this issue--thank you again for your much appreciated feedback.

Bonnee

Most chiros will do a discounted first visit /evaluation.
you can ask for only eval and use that time to , interview and share your MRI/xray images with them.
Then you will get a bit of a feeling if you would be confident and comfortable with the DC.

If they are pushy or overbearing or won't discuss your condition move on.