I cry. A lot. I despise myself for what I've done in my life. I can't forgive myself for my mistakes. I can't see myself ever accomplishing anything.

I know part of the reason I'm like this is because of my Depression, but my psyche makes me believe it is true. I don't want to take medication, plus i feel like I accomplish so much more if I get happier on my own.

People hate me. I know they do. Everyone has "haters" but I feel i have too many. So many people has told me they cared about me and then walked out of my life. I hear people call me a "nobody".

AND my self esteem is so low. If people ever compliment me, i fight back. I just can't believe them. I'm starting to believe i might be schizophrenic when it comes to things like that. (But that's the only symptom of it, so I'm not too worried)

Anyway. . . I try to talk about this stuff, but people think i'm just trying to get attention.

Help me remember what a smile feels like.