I don't know how I go here, just surfing the web. I read of several suicides and needed to talk. I am a recent widow of an acute alcoholic. Although all his family want to believe his death an accident, after 17 years marraige I knew him better than anyone and believe it to be intentional. I am left with two little girls, one of who will never remember her daddy and the other who will never forget. I am desperately trying to start a new life and even though I am on anti-depressants, I am an emotional wreck. Is there anyone out there who feels the need to talk and can listen to my pain?

Dear nohope

I am so glad you found our community, tho so sorry to hear the reason you are here

we have a couple of forums here that I know you will be welcomed in and supported during this very hard time
especially our survivors of suicide forum, where i know you will be enveloped in care and understanding

I copied your post over to that board

here is the link so you can check for replies
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...ad.php?t=36788

my deepest condolences and I pray there will be hope that dawns out of this darkness for you and your little ones

Cheri

Hang in there. You will find strength inside of you.

Knee mail sent up for you.

just bumping this up for you nohope, so that you can also check the SOS forum.

(((((((((nohope)))))))))

hope you see this

Nohope, I am sorry you are going through all of this. I know that this is a difficult time for you but hang in there and give it some time.

Saying prayers for you and your little ones.

Hi Nohope, I'm so sorry for all that you're going through. It's so hard to lose someone - time will help but right now I know that's probably not much comfort to you. I'm saying prayers for you now - and hoping that you feel some comfort and peace in your life.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. My 1st husband (DH) commited suicide when I was 23, 8 and a half years ago. I didn't have children but I still remember the pain and confusion it caused me.

I can't imagine how hard it is for you to go through this with smal children, I am so sorry for them also.

If you would like to talk send me a private message and I would be happy to connect with you.

Please remember that you did not have any control over this situation but you can choose where to go from here. I won't lie and say oh its easy just get over it, that wouldn't be doing you any favors.

I still think about him and there are days I play back the months leading up to it and wonder if I should have done something different, but I know deep down inside evebtually he would have done it.

I can also tell you that it will get easier as time goes by. If your daughter is having a really hard time dealing with it consider counseling for her and for you if you need it.

I wish you the best of everything from here on out.And please PM me if you want to talk more ok.

I am so happy for your reply and so sorry for your loss, too. A friend recently said to me "if you've given everything you can, there is nothing left to give." No matter what I could have done, nothing would have stopped this tradgedy. I have no guilt as I literally gave "my everything", but I am so lost now that the family is severed. It doesn't matter whether there is children or not, the pain is intense as we loved our men.

I am so grateful I stumbled onto this site last night. I have received a lot of responses and everyone has such kind and helpful words to say. Thank you so much for yours!

I have lost a couple of family members to suicide. The hardest part of all the pain is not knowing what we could have done to stop it. Where did we miss the signs?

But, the truth is it would have happened anyway. My prays are with you.

(((((Nohope))))) I am so sorry to hear of your loss! Prayers are being said for you and your children.

I am sure you will find wonderful support here as there are alot of caring people.

If you ever want to talk please feel free to PM me or email me. I am a good listener

Take care