I usually post at another MS site and recognize some of your member names. I didn't post there as postings need to be specific it seems and this one just isn't.

I am depressed. I know - it is a sign of MS. I am on antidepressants. They work most of the time. When I get stressed though - forget it - the crying starts. Crying episodes are a lot fewer on the medicine - just wish the stress and crying could go away completely. But that's not life is it.

I will confess to all of you but lied to my neuro - I've been drinking several glasses of wine at night to deal with stress. My husband buys it by the box as it is cheaper that way. I have stopped doing that since a week or two ago the neuro told me my liver function tests were awful and cut my rebif in half and told me to stop drinking. I told her I drink several glasses a week - in truth it is per night sometimes lately. Just started that embarrassing habit this past year.

Haven't drank since the tests came out bad during yearly neuro appointment but now stressing and having suicidal thoughts - don't worry I have a young son and won't do that to him. Would you like to know what threw me into the latest stress episode? He is in a group - and he got awards and two others in his group didn't so one set of parents have been sending nasty e-mails and making nasty calls. Ridiculous huh? I knew one set was mad at me so expected their anger but didn't realize a second set was.

We had a meeting with a mediator so to speak tonight and after having two sets of parents screaming at me (there was another set of parents angry about my son's award also who had been holding in it)- I left the meeting crying and drove home crying. They are mad my son got the award and mad at me, my husband and my son. It is scouts and they didn't realize that scouts advance at their own level and don't have to wait for everyone in the group to get an award before one gets their advancement badge.

Right now I'm having a visual migraine - zigzag lines like lightning. At least that is what the neuro tells me they are. It is disrupting the entire left field of vision. Great now both eyes. Imitrex here I come.

Oh and I do have ms -diagnosed in 2003 after 2 years and 4 months of testing. On 1/2 strength Rebif presently - which is all my fault. The dose change that is. Probably the MS is too. If I handled my stress better I probablywouldn't have it huh?

Julie

Hi Julie,

I am sorry you are having a diffiuclt time.

The issue going on re: the "scouts" seems very odd and "unnecessary" trouble form parents/the entire experience. I am sorry this has occurred and hope this can be remedied...or you can be relieved of associated stress.

When we are struggling with illness, it can be so much more difficult to deal with the stress involved in interpersonal relationships! (This is especially so if we feel/perceive other to be unreasonable at the time.)

Additionally, I have found, after struggling with illness and trying to simply get through... day-by-day...I have a very different viewpoint than many about what is "important" and what is "reasonable." While many have the "luxury" of knit-picking and creating unecessary "battles/conflict," many with chronic illnesses do not have those "luxuries!" We learn we cannot engage in any unecessary stress actitivites.. without often paying a very high price.

I am glad you have chosen to be candid about the alcohol consumption, since you feel it is creating a problem for you...within your treatment.
You had mentioned the term "embarassing." I am glad you are addressing this openly. You know...people simply try to find ways to cope. None of us always make the very best of choices! Sometime, we discover this later on!

Yet, we can go back to the drawing board and we can "choose again!"
That is excellent news! We can make new choices every single day! Or..even every single hour, if we feel we need to do so!

We all have to make choices about how to handle stress. It is vital! It is especialy vital when we are often already stressed to the max in trying to cope with illness(es) and all that can bring into our lives in a not so helpful, stressful way.

I hope you will find the support and any extra helpful information here...or will be shown where/how to find all of whatever you decide you need!

I think you have taekn an important step in reching out and in being open and honest!

Join in at any of the forums and you will find some of the support, information, advice and resources that may help you very much!

I can feel your strength in your post...and your desire to get a few things "back in order!" This is a powerful desire and you can make this happen!

Hope to see you around here!

a quote for you~

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.

M. Scott Peck

Hi Julie! Welcome to NeuroTalk!

I'm glad you found us, we enjoy the sense of community here that we MSrs all truly need.

Have you spoken to your neuro about your intense emotions? It may be time to change ADs, over the years I've had to do so, sometimes they just quit working and we don't always realize it.

Try not to be too hard on yourself, no one chooses this path.

MS:
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=17

Hello and welcome to NeuroTalk. Great to see you have come to be with us. You will find a great number of caring, supporting members here willing to help each other as they can.

Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around.

Darlene

Hello and Welcome to Neurotalk!!


Please feel free to roam around and join in anywhere.

If you need any help or have any questions please let us know... someone will be around shortly to help you in any way we can.

Hope to see you around...
Abbie