Hi, i have a 5 yr old son he is diagnosed with adhd. He is on risperdal and focalin xr. His dad and i have been seperated for 2 years now. I had him put on the meds after struggling with anger/emotional/hyper issues for as long as i can remember... Well he was doing ok on the meds, listening to me, a little hyper still but there wasnt as much argueing or tantrums like before this would go on fot hours! Well his dad doesnt agree with the medication, so sometimes he will :forget" to give it to him when he is there, sometimes the whole weekend and sometimes just a day. When he comes back to me he freaks out at the littlest thing, like tonite i told him no about something and he went A-wall! He screamed, threw things yelled at me, told me no he dont want to...nothing would help. not grounding, taking things away or spanking all he did was cry and cry until his chest and his head hurt! It was terrible! I couldnt get him to calm down! I dont know what to do. Then his dad says he is fine over there, he "listens" to him... i dont know is it possible he is biploar? His psych told me it is something they want to test for in the future...but what do i do as far as his dad not giving him meds? How do i deal with him when he acts like this? Im scared, if he were a teen i could not control him! Please help me!

hello brindad
sorry to hear of your turmoil
honestly I would think if things are that out of control a visit back to the doctor (or at least to another for a second opinion) would be the wisest things to do

it is extremely important for psychiatric medication to be given on schedule and perhaps a request for the doctor to call the child's father may help to explain the seriousness of rollercoastering on meds...either that or maybe a trusted family member or friend who could intervene?

It breaks my heart to hear a child is being punished for behavior that may be directly related to the medications(or lack of them) or for an untreated disorder and I sure hope you will pursue this actively with a doctor to get him the treatment he needs.

Hi,

Talk to your lawyer about changing the visitation rights of the father if the father is not going to support his own son's medical treatment.

Quit spanking him.
He is ill.
Why would you punish him???????????????

Mari

I would also venture to guess he has no idea that he is doing all the things
you see him do. But he has no way of telling you at his early age.

For one thing you don't know how to ask him the right questions.
And he doesn't know how to tell you so you understand. This doesnt'
make it your fault or his. And I'm going to guess he thinks its all
his fault and he is a bad person or kid.

The fact that his father see none of the behavior honestly doesn't surprise
me. He doesn't make him behave, and he doesn't care what he does if you ask me.

What I would do is keep a diary of exactly what you said, or did that triggered
the behavior of your son for the therapist. What reaction you got.
How long it lasted. And I realize how hard this part will be do not react, or do anything to try and stop it. See if it just stops on its own.

Also watch for episodes that out of the blue just happen, for no apparent reason. Some protocal, as before, follow the steps. The only time you
intervene is if he is going to hurt himself, you or another child.

If he can or tries to hurt another adult you have the option of either stopping
him, or allowing the other adult to try. Its according to how you trust them.

I have a son a lot like this who is now 26 and when he was little kept getting
stronger, no known reason. Nothing worked, and no one had a clue.

But at 16 luckily a psychiatrist finally recognized the symptoms and at that
point they wouldn't talk bi-polar for at least 3 to 6 months after visits started.
But they would talk intermittent explosive disorder. And that is my son's
diagnosis. He is now a fantastic young man and dad.

If we had that diagnosis at your sons' age and it was true what a difference
it would have been. Right Doctor Right diagnosis.

Donna

My daughter also presented these behaviors beginning at age 3 - 5. Kept getting worse as time passed. Was diagnosed as OCD, ADHD, General Anxiety and posiible early onset bipolar. I did not like the meds prescribed, especially for bipolar so I did some research. She is taking Lexipro 10 mg daily, which helps a lot with anxiety, but all other symptoms and behaviors disappeared when I took red dyes , especially red #40, MSG, BHA and BHT out of her diet. I went as natural and organic as I can trying to remove as many chemicals from her diet as possible. Amazing change. The red #40 effects her immediately and if she gets it by mistake, even a small little red gumball, she rages, cries, is manic, aggitated, seems histerical, can not stand to be frustrated and totally wigs out. Temper tantrums that cann last the entire time the chemical is in her bloodstream. MSG is more accumulative, but after a large enough helping or a few days eating campbells soup she is aggitated, wired and manic. After cleaning up her diet the doc is amazed that she now sits quietly and plays in the office while we talk, while before she was all over the place. So my suggestion to you is try to remove chemicals your child may be sensitive to from his diet and see what happens. Many children with neurological trouble, may simply be reacting to the chemicals. Fols use to say it was a sugar high, I say it is a dye high. It can't hurt to try and if it is the chemicals in the diet it seems wiser to remove then from what your child eats then to find a medicine or additional chemical to counter the effect from the dyes, pesticides, preservatives and flavorings. If it isn't the diet, them you'll know for sure that meds are the best plan of attack and necessary for treatment. Hope this helps, VK

I do wonder if you could try another medication to treat the add instead of the Focalin. What about something like Strattera? This med might be less likely to cause anxiety. Another way to go, would be to try a mood stabilizer to counter any mania inducing effects of the add medication. Is there any bipolar illness in your family or that of the father's? Often this is a red flag to consider when prescribing. I would also consider family counseling. Divorce is very tough on children and this might be contributing to his grief/anxiety. One more thing...there are some good books on divorce at the library. Many will address the best ways for you and your ex to approach your child and to best handle visitation as to not cause your child undue stress. It might be best to check out a few and then discuss your findings with the father. Hopefully, he will be open to it. If not, I would go to a family therapist with your child and try to take dad with you as well.

I really like the diet suggestion a lot. I have lots of reason to believe in it very much. If it takes too long watching for what things to remove, maybe try a zero-diet (boiled parsnips and water with no herbs or salt) for a few days and build one foodstuff at the time from there. As soon as something gives a reaction, remove it. Children do not get lack of vitamin issues quickly enough for this to be a problem if you keep expanding the diet.

The VERY WORST one can do is going on and off meds all the time like the dad not giving it to him. It is far worse than not having them. The meds suppress things that come out all at once even worse because the sudden lack of meds creates a new chemical imbalance in the brain. Plus the kid takes another couple of days to get used to them again. If he is so opposed to meds (which, incidentally, I agree with) he should come up with other workable solutions instead, discussing them with you first, and only implementing what you can agree on. The last thing a troubled kid needs is inconsistency.

Brindad,
Get a second opinion for your child. You need a fresh look from someone new. Ask about omega-3 fatty acids. They are good for children and can be really helpful in bipolar disorder in kids, or adults. The mass general hospital in boston did 2 studies on children with bipolar disorder the first with zyprexa and risperdal and the second with and using a high epa omega-3 called omegabrite.
In comparing the studies, using the same success criteria as they used for the zyprexa and risperdal in the first study, omegabrite was as effective as zyprexa and more effective than risperdal and zyprexa in the depressive symptoms. Both studies are on fishoils.com
Look at the charts and get a second opinion. Our doctor put my children on omegabrite. Then I started on it as well and it has made a huge difference. more people need to know about high EPA omega-3's. They can help. Omegabrite changed my life and my son's life.
Hang in and get a second opinion and find out about omega-3's for your child and for you too. It is so hard but things will get better with the right help and support.
JSR1