And I see why it looked so, but I didn't mean to suggest that leaving should be your intervention, hope that was implied and understood. But someone to help who is the right person to help could be worth a try.

As having been through it, I'm strongly suggesting that if you just think it will get better on its own; the odds of that are not stacked in favor of that happening. I didn't do anything, and we are happily separated. Is that something you see as a possibility, or am I overstating it? If not, you could end up splitting to survive.

You are not me, but I can see the pattern...so sorry to nag.

I'm really thinking of the whole family - don't think of me as on anyone's side.

Other than that, I think perhaps Rodney Dangerfield is exactly how I feel and also look at times to others....lol....curse word of your choice....

paula