Thank YOU!

You really made me smile. I hope we meet one day! I like your style.


We should all be more like you - and that would mean more many many more random acts of kindness. And that would be a very good thing indeed.

Is that people will be not nice, or nice depending on how they percieve you. If you have gotten older, more frail (less of a threat), and smile first, i think that it would be an "i think people are getting nicer" call. I say this because Americans, and people in general, live by codes, where they tend to respect their elders, and have compassion to those with disabilities.
If you appear young, poorly dressed (i mean unwashed, and in tatters; not a suit and tie that doesn't match! ), and present with a smug, cocky, threatening attitude (the eyes are the window to the world), people will react different to you, and you may percieve them to be "mean"
I also think that there is a thing about being in pain or sorrow. People see it on your face and the "instantaneous mental skake down" that they get is that you are more conncerned with your own matters and as such, prove less of a threat to them. AS an example, people inn your way in the grocery store. They know that they are impeding you, but you just wait patiently for them. They are playing a little game, trying to force you to be rude to them so that they can do what they do best, hassle with you. But if they see that you are trying to hold youself up, they see your cane, and an unperturbed look of serene patience on your face, they more often than not apologize and get out of your way. This example can have hundreds of similarities to it.
I do think that because of a faster paced life, and the increased pressure to make a buck, people are less patient than they used to be, but "meaner", not really. cs

People are as kind and as unkind as ever. Often unkindness is simply absent mindedness, which is rude, but not mean. Terri has the right idea, but I'm going to be terribly unkind and say that such a long, self congratulatory praise made me feel like I needed a stiff slug of vinegar. I'm not really an unkind person by nature, I like to be kind, and kindness begets kindness. It also makes you feel good to make people smile. But I stay away from the false compliments - they are patronizing and usually transparently so. Pride in one's own sweetness just rubs me the wrong way. I'm probably not as nice as I used to be.

Crabby birte

Perhaps beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The expression “seeing with the eyes of the heart” refers to a way of looking at others with love, making allowances for their shortcomings and wishing the best for them. “The eyes of the heart are not concerned with appearances but with essences, and as we cultivate these eyes we are able to learn from our suffering and to see the world with more loving, forgiving, humble, generous eyes,” says Desmond Tutu. Tutu also observes that “suffering is not optional,” but “while we are not free to choose whether we suffer, we are free to choose whether it will ennoble us or instead will embitter us.”

I agree with Tutu, that what you see depends on how you look.

It’s interesting, Greg, that you limit your remarks to people encountered for a moment. For all of us, is it hard to imagine looking in this way at people you know? Or the opposite, that whomever you get to know turns out to be dear to you because the eyes of your heart are always “on”? I think I’ve heard Greg say that when posting (in the old MGH forum) and reading posts, one should put on their “forum glasses,” which I would translate as “love glasses.”

But then I wasn’t supposed to be asking the questions.

I haven't read the links yet. I may be back.

Jaye

It's Genii. What's wrong? Did you lose your dictionary? What are you, Helpless? Did you hide it on a top shelf where it is to inconvenient to reach?
Did you really want an answer to the plural of Genius or was it a rhetroical question?

I am just playing with you, sir. I am afraid I am also one of those types of people, like Teri, who enjoy going out of my way to acknowledge positive aspects I see in strangers or finding answers to questions.

If you do it in a positive way, unlike above, the receiver of the info will appreciate the positive observation. Help presented in a negative way will receive a negative responce. Words are such important symbols to communicate with.

Vicky

Main Entry: ge·nius
Pronunciation: \ˈjēn-yəs, ˈjē-nē-əs\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural ge·nius·es or ge·nii \-nē-ˌī\
Etymology: Latin, tutelary spirit, natural inclinations, from gignere to beget
Date: 1513
1 a. plural genii : an attendant spirit of a person or place bplural usually genii : a person who influences another for good or bad
2: a: strong leaning or inclination : penchant
3 a: a peculiar, distinctive, or identifying character or spirit b: the associations and traditions of a place c: a personification or embodiment especially of a quality or condition
4 plural usually genii : spirit, jinni
5 plural usually geniuses a: a single strongly marked capacity or aptitude <had a genius for getting along with boys — Mary Ross> b: extraordinary intellectual power especially as manifested in creative activity c: a person endowed with transcendent mental superiority; especially : a person with a very high IQ

I can take it! Because I honestly DO mean the compliments and I'd talk to these people for hours if I could (and as often as I can, I do stand and talk). It's just my nature. I'd invite them all into my home and share everything I have. I purposely and blatantly chose the area where we live to mingle with "ordinary" folks.

As most of you know, my husband is an engineer. He works for a major oil company and works in the Energy Corridor of the Houston area. Almost everyone who transferred here lives in a certain, let's say, prestigious city. I am not joking when I say that we went out to dinner, everyone was white, upper to middle class, making $70,000 and above and I got the hee-be-jeebies. I am NOT comfortable around people like that. I can't, won't and don't play the game as in ... "Where do YOU live ... in the area of homes that cost $100,000 to $150,000 ... or in the $250,000 to $300,000 home area? I just can't stomach that. We also looked at the school statistics and, at that time, they did not even have ONE percent economically disadvantaged (i.e. those that got reduced lunch meals). Not even one percent ... they had to put an asterisk in it's place. I kid you not. That is NOT the real world!

So my children go to school with 50% white and 50% minorities. THAT is the real world! My daughter's best friend is black, her mother committed suicide, and she lived with her aunt to finish out high school. Another friend of hers lives in a trailer outside the city limits and, you know what? I consider her mother now one of my close friends.

Our children also pay half their college education, did not receive a car for either their 16th or 18th birthdays, and will have to buy back the cars that we purchased for them.

My daughter came home from school one day wanting a photo of our house. When I asked why, she said it was because no one believed where she lived. Another time, she needed to stop by the house quickly to pick up something, and her friend looked at the house and said, "I would have never guessed." Her reply ... "exactly".

And, if I'm not brightening people's days with compliments, I help them out financially if I can. 98% of this is done anonymously ... I helped a friend in Bible Study by crumpling up $40.00 and stuffing it in her diaper bag. (The next week she asked if I was missing any money and I feigned ignorance). I've given the church a check for the pastor's two kids to cover a field trip (he doesn't need to know where it came from), I gave a lady at Firestone $40.00 because the attendant said that she needed work done, she looked in her purse, and I just knew, knew that she didn't have the money. And even PRIOR to giving her the money, I taught her how to play Sudoko .... this crazy 47 year old white woman, asking an elderly, retired black lady if she wanted me to teach her how to play Sudoko. She was SOOO excited and kept telling me ... "This is so cool, oh, this is so cool, I can't wait to get my own book."

I also invite them over for a coke, a swim, a soak in the hot tub and some one-on-one conversation. I know that not everyone is as blessed financially as I am and can't even afford McDonald's. I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable, too, by always buying lunch. This way we have a good time, and it's free!

After we lost a child at the age of 18 days old, I routinely read the obits and sent out a letter to anyone who lost a child letting them know that their feelings are real, very real, and not to let anyone else tell them differently. I gave them my phone number but was upset that they could cross reference my name with the phone book and know where we lived.

That is the one stark difference between my husband and I. He thinks he EARNED it (and, yes, physically he did) ... I see it as God's gracious gift.

So you can see, I can live with myself because it's sincere down to my deepest core. My ONLY regret is that I didn't marry Bill Gates! So, if some day I really DO marry a Bill Gates equivalent, be sure to look me up. I'll be handing out smiles, free swims in my pool, a kind word or two, and nothing will have changed ... except for the cash freely flowing from my home to theirs.

But in all fairness to everyone, I do see how my posts may come across as gloating. I don't mean it. You'd have to know me to understand. But I do understand how you think it could be, especially on paper

So I say to Birte, KC and trfan, come on down to Houston without a dime in your pocket and we can have fun. I make my own entertainment ... sponsored by my husband ... he just doesn't know it. LOL

Thanks for straigtening us out on the meaning of genius. But understanding words is only a part of communicating. We use our eyes, smell, touch and hearing when we are talking to another person face to face. It may be Terri gently touches the person, looks directly at the person she is commiserating with, or the tone of her voice that helps convey her meaning. To assume she is being arrogant can only be perceived by the reciepient of the reciepient of Terri's reasurrance or attempt to touch a personal responce.

Words alone cannot express feelings adequately. If they could, Hallmark could not make so much money printing sympathy cards stating, "Words cannot express...", "Words are so inadequate to reveal..."

Sometimes the only responce is a hug and a tear to convey our feelings. Humans do not rely only on words to feel cared for. Taking the time to say them can mean more than the words themselves. Terri, you rock!!

I like and admire your positive attitude.

Vicky

I don't know that I think people are becoming nicer. It seems to me that there's more and more intolerance of other people's differences, less importance put on treating others as you would have them treat you. I think the Golden Rule should be dusted off and taught to everyone at a young age once again.

Having said that, I do think that the majority of people I meet each day are nice - that the number of genuinely nice people outnumber the others. It's situational though. Someone I think is friendly and outgoing might turn into Psycho Dad while watching his six year old son play football or might be one of the ones putting lives at risk with his impatient driving habits.

I think people typically are nice to me because I'm nice to them. My oldest son tells me I'm too friendly, that I talk to "complete strangers." And I do! Like Terri, I often compliment others when I like what they're wearing, how they handled a situation with their kids, etc.- sincere comments, not just platitudes. I love to ask for a store manager, watch them walk up to me obviously expecting a complaint, and then see their delight when instead I compliment an employee on the service they've given me. I would take the time to complain if I was unhappy with an employee, so why not take the time to compliment excellence? We all walk away feeling good! It's little things that make all the difference.

Miss Pollyanna here thinks the world would be a better place if everyone going into a grocery store pushed a cart in as they went, there by leaving parking spaces free and reducing the dings and scratches cars get in the parking lot. It's a simple, helpful thing I do that costs me nothing.

I loved the movie "Pay It Forward", loved the basic idea of doing something nice for someone, then they do something nice for someone else, and that person helps a third, and so on. What a totally simple concept to change our world for the better!

http://www.ajc.com/living/content/li...real_1121.html