it is your life - I do not know you or have met you, and more than likely
I will not - go with your heart, - if you have plans go for them, but being alone w/ your thoughts, - you realize I have a son, I do not even know if you have children, but this illness is very weird, it is like life -unpredictable

I realize you are tougher than you let on - because you did not respond
to my precautionary appeal...
if beauty is what most men want -there will be a time for beauty - but I have seen gorgeous women with PD and beauty fades and faces lose emotion
one beautiful friend of mine lost her speaking voice completely, ----
please - do not count on men to save you... there is one man I met his name is Mort kondrake - and this is a charlie Rose interview -half way into this program Charlie Rose interviews
Mort and he speaks of Milly his wife...and how PD affected their lives.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YIywWdQSQc

Hello Mary Frances,

I'm new to this forum so I do not know you but when I read your post my heart went out to you. I thought I'd read some of your older posts to see if you saw this coming. You were asking if others got support or acknowledgment from their spouses as you were feeling you would like more in your relationship. I have also been through this and that was the beginning of your husband pulling away. I decided to end a 4 year relationship for this reason. When I got very sick on Mirapex I could see he didn't want to be a caretaker and his sexual attraction for me died on the vine. I moved out even though he still loved me and thought he would come back. If I got healed he would come back was the message I got. I was able to let the love die with his help and we are very good friends now. It is a different kind of love.

I got PLWP to create PLWP Singles Site and before it folded we had 100 members. Through this site I traveled and met others who were single and had pd. I would meet their friends, some who were married, it became very obvious that in many of these relationships the caretaker felt hostage and the marriage was not a good one. On the other hand I saw a couple of loving marriages that seemed like they would stand the test of time. What stood out was how much our pd takes over the caretakers life. It is a huge commitment and takes a special kind of person to go through the journey with you.

As many have pointed out you are a lovely person and very attractive. That you can reach out and share your life with others will help you move on. Like Stevem3 says "when one door closes another one opens". I was told the very same thing. Although you need time to grieve try and remember that this door is waiting. Take this time and be good to yourself.

Bonnie

I hate this disease.
I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.I hate this disease.


Tena,
I don't even want to think about all that's going to happen physically with this disease...

May I just not think about it right now?

Thank you for all your help. I hope we do meet one day. I really like you.


Mary

please - Mary Frances -the word hate is one of the worst words,
it is like a 2edged sword, it will turn in on you,
hate causes illness - so scream hate 21 more times
until love whispers to you...
- then perhaps - you can start healing emotionally
and that will be when you can replace that 4 letter word hate

I believe I wrote a poem about hating Mr. Parkinson's -

but I have not shaken - no pun intended - him off yet...
you need - to do this and then I will be quiet...
tell yourself you love yourself - and tell your arms and legs thank you
for trying s hard for me, tell your entire body you love it...
the body will do anything for love -all happy neurochemicals,

Ive had the opportunity to meet some of those special people that honor their wedding vows.."In sickness and in health" at support group meetings, and the love and compassion some of these folks have for their spouses with pd is really special..We have some of the carepartners not only participating in support groups, some as group officers, etc..One is a faciitator at one group, and there are a few that are board members of our local chapter of the APDA..Many have spouses who have has DBS surgery, and to witness the love and harmony between some of these couples, will absolutely take your breathe away..So, like you say..those caring, compassionate, stand up people are out there

The spouses who stay together for the journey are inspiring to see especially to those of us that don't have that and wish we did. We question our choices, we blame the disease. We have to figure out how to be grateful for what we do have. I'm working on it.

is a difficult thing to overcome. The absolute devastation affects those of us who have been through it. At some stage we have to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and get on with life.

Yes folks we have the dreaded parkis disease, imagine being blind and deaf and living in a black ignorance with no void open to you to be able to communicate with anyone. Your consciousness is trapped in a no win situation. Think about it....No sight...No sound....How on earth can we involve ourselves in the real world, how can we learn to communicate?
You are a wild and trapped animal, never knowing a world beyond dark silence. And then you make that quantum jump from dark silence when your mate gently poors cold water onto your hand and slowly writes the
letters W A T E R on the sensitive palm of your hand. The rest is history. That individual went on to become a literary genius. Helen Keller.

The WATER/Reality Breakthrough. Inspiration personified. Does it for me when you need a lift.

I think I'll get all dressed up and go out on the town to cheer myself up for my birthday. Maybe call a few girl friends. You know how crazy a bunch of girls can get.

Thanks everyone for your help.

Mary

i was struggling with a decision whether or not to reply, but i needed to.

i would like you to try this excercize mary. make sure the room you are in is void of any noise. unplug your phone, turn off cell phone. now.. close your eyes and wrap your arms very tightly around yourself. then sit.. in the silence..

soon you will feel Him. His arms will be wrapped around you. He is holding His child and telling her.. "I love you. I will take care of you. I will never leave you. have faith in Me. I will always walk next to you, I will carry you when you cannot walk. I will hold you so you do not fall. have faith in Me.

Mary, i also have recently been seperated. at this moment, the marriage is still together but just barely. alot of water has gone under the bridge and i have come very close to the point of drowning in it. the decision to hold it together mainly comes from the knowledge that if it does end, i will more than likely have to go into assisted living. a thing i am not ready to do yet. so, i made the choice to try to keep it going... for me.. i chose to give it to God, and let Him take care of me. and, He is.

i dont know what your situation is. only you know the truth of your life and where your heart is. you and God. the stress of feeling unworthy will eat you up. it is VITAL that you look at who YOU are. not pd.. YOU. You are a beautiful person that has purpose. seek positive insight. find a good counselor, volunteer, help a friend, write, sing, do what feels good.. to you. and most important.. feel His arms around you. You are valuable. Yes.. you are...