FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Today's Posts |
11-07-2008, 12:58 AM | #1 | |||
|
||||
Member
|
There are a number of reasons I am starting this thread. As a community we have all been following Steve's visit out to Seattle to visit Laura (Harley), and the relationship that is unfolding in front of us. Up until now, not much has been said about relationships that form both within the PD community after old marriages self-destruct, or are left hanging by a thread due to PD in our lives.
It is probably present in many more places than are ever brought forward to the forum. Well I'm throwing it out on the table for discussion. For me it has become a personal issue, but I'm willing to forgo privacy for the sake of information sharing and its benefits to all and any who care to read. Other than AJ and Greg Wasson, I'm not really aware of any other "Parkinson pairing" that has taken place, but that could be just my oversight. For myself, Steve and Laura's open sharing of their experience of getting together is very close to home as I have had a frienship via e-mail with Steve for most of the 5 years I've been on this board, and Laura used to keep a PLWP journal back when I was first on that website, and I care deeply for both of them. I have found a promising companionshp here also. In case you were wondering Max and Rosebud have been entertaining the idea that we could have a viable relationship and have been working out our options since last summer. (and kept it off the site until Steve let the cat out of the bag...thanks Steve LOL) It is not as simple as it was before PD, and will probably not get any simpler. We ask ourselves....are we crazy? We can think of 100 reasons not to get involved in each others lives, but when we get together we have a great time and we are the "normal ones" and the rest of the world is different. We sit in a restaurant both dyskinetic but totally oblivious to all the polite people who cast a glance or just plain stare. We trip over our own feet and both laugh....it's a good feeling. We know it would be difficult at best to establish a relationship with a caregiver (Not a sexy term). We live "one day at a time", and "play it by ear". We try to take turns at being off...doesn't always work, but we laugh about that too. I know there are some interesting insights to be posted in the days ahead. Please share your experience if it's relevant, and your thoughts and opinions...even your questions. I posted this without telling Max what I was doing...maybe I just shot myself in the foot! Hope not
__________________
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. Bertrand Russell |
|||
Reply With Quote |
11-07-2008, 09:14 AM | #2 | |||
|
||||
Member
|
Rosebud,
I love your sense of humor. Relationships for me prior to PD (17 years ago) were difficult. I just can't imagine how extraordinarily difficult it would be now with advanced PD and well past the age when women become invisible. |
|||
Reply With Quote |
11-07-2008, 11:58 AM | #3 | |||
|
||||
Member
|
I don't think women become invisible, so much as they banish themselves to "nowhere". It becomes more easily done when you write yourself off as having no worth to a man. (I'm not speaking about you, but generalizing about all women) And the truth is women get along much better on their own than men do. I have been quite content the last 4 years since i cut the ties on my 3rd marriage -a destructive marriage if there ever was one. But Max has brought an element back into my life that I had forgotten about...a connection that is not dependant on a physical relationship to be fulfilling. It has been a bit of a revelation to us discovering that there is life and love after PD, in spite of the sexual malfunctioning of one's body. In fact it makes the whole exerience quite profound. Perhaps because there is no pressure to perform. The person your with has PD also and "gets it". One of the lessons we learned was that we thought we had a problem (challange) until the next guy got the same problem, only he said "supersize me!"
There are plenty of "old goats" out there who would count themselves lucky to have a good woman in their lives....as reverett reminded us in a previous thread. God does not look on the outward package, so neither should we. Still, the question remains: are we crazy??? Love to all....r
__________________
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. Bertrand Russell |
|||
Reply With Quote |
11-07-2008, 12:27 PM | #4 | ||
|
|||
Member
|
you are fortunate your shared experience of PD will give you an understanding others work years to achieve.
Look forward with optimism, who knows what the future holds. Neil. (loved your restaurant story). |
||
Reply With Quote |
11-07-2008, 05:53 PM | #5 | |||
|
||||
Member
|
Rosebud.
I admire your tenacity. An old horsewoman told me years ago. "It takes a Great Man to replace no man at all." Having horses is actually more of a relationship deterient than PD. |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | rosebud (11-08-2008) |
11-07-2008, 11:59 PM | #6 | ||
|
|||
In Remembrance
|
I know of at least 4 other couples who both have PD and had the honor of being in greg and anne's wedding. Incredible experiences along with it. Good luck to you all. I'm still wrangling out my original, "eventful" marriage, now settling once again into old friends and grandparents. Wish me luck.
p
__________________
paula "Time is not neutral for those who have pd or for those who will get it." |
||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | rosebud (11-08-2008) |
11-08-2008, 12:46 AM | #7 | |||
|
||||
In Remembrance
|
"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly."
Rose Franken live love laugh -the process of good relationships so far I have only seen - live- love - laugh, - leave? as for me I have never fallen in love, I stepped in it a couple times though...
__________________
with much love, lou_lou . . by . , on Flickr pd documentary - part 2 and 3 . . Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong. Sometime in your life you will have been all of these. |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | rosebud (11-08-2008) |
11-09-2008, 02:55 AM | #8 | ||||
|
|||||
Senior Member
|
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Are we crazy?..No!..Pd caused me to rob myself of the willingmess to dream my wildest dream..The inner desire to live my life to the fullest, got me on a plane to Washington to meet Laura..It was a risk I found the courage to take, cuz we could have met and decided that we didnt like each other..But, Thanks be to God, that we hit it off, and discovered potential possibillities in each other that have blossumed.. Yes, life was simpler alone..Actually, it was so simple that it became mundane and boring..I realized that prior coming out here that I settled for less..I had settled for nothing by denying myself an intimate relationship with a woman..I had litterally forced myself to go without something I really wanted because I had pd..I have once again learned that life does on with or without pd..And the fact that I/we have pd, makes this relationship, all the more profound and inspiring, and lets not forget, a source of hope, and mutual happiness in many ways..Ive learned alot about myself in all of this, and Ive learned alot about the God that created us..alot about faith, and the strength of our inner spirit's quest to fulfill our dreams and our wholeness, no matter the challenges before us..I think provides a source of strength where there was weakness, a source of clarity where there was confusion..a source of purpose where there was doubt..and a source of hope where there was despair Quote:
When we are out in public, it is hard to tell I have pd unless I am having a bad day, so I probably look like Laura's carepartner, more than a pd patient..My meds work pretty good and hide alot of my symptoms these days..and what people also dont know is what we share with each other in conversation over breakfast or lunch at some restaurant somewhere..There is never a word wasted on meaningless irrelevant banter..When one of us is having a tough time, the other willingly steps in and takes up the slack..This relationship has been enlightening to both of us
__________________
There are those who see things as they are and ask..Why?..I dream of things that never were and ask..Why not?..RFK |
||||
Reply With Quote |
11-10-2008, 12:29 AM | #9 | |||
|
||||
In Remembrance
|
what does this look like ?
__________________
with much love, lou_lou . . by . , on Flickr pd documentary - part 2 and 3 . . Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong. Sometime in your life you will have been all of these. |
|||
Reply With Quote |
11-10-2008, 01:06 AM | #10 | |||
|
||||
Member
|
Blood, revolution, the history of the world. Very intense.
what is it?
__________________
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. Bertrand Russell |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | lou_lou (11-10-2008) |
Reply |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Forum | |||
TBI and relationships | Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Concussion Syndrome | |||
Brain Injury and Relationships | General Health Conditions & Rare Disorders | |||
Relationships... | Bipolar Disorder | |||
On losing my companion | Creative Corner |