I feel depression setting in pretty rapidly. I am on 60 mg. of Cymbalta, but please some encouraging words would be appreciated.

These constant pain, burning, abnormal sensations, etc.....are not only painful, annoying and disturbing, but the thought of them being with me for the rest of my life is leaving me very depressed. The only time I am not feeling something is when I sleep (with the help of Valium).

I am only 53 years old, I'm sure most of you with non-length dependent are about my age, maybe younger.

I find myself looking at my friends, etc....my age and actually feeling jealous, resentful, not nice thoughts!

How do you cope with this day in and day out???????

It has been a year and a half for me and I am starting to lose it!

Knowing it is progressive and with no cure just puts the cherry on the cake!!

Sorry for such venting, but wow this is tough!

Any words would be appreciated!

[QUOTE=invisable;704180]

I find myself looking at my friends, etc....my age and actually feeling jealous, resentful, not nice thoughts!

*** Whenever I feel myself becoming depressed about my condition, I actively seek out friends -- not to complain about my condition, but to just have some human interaction. It's a distraction from the pain and I don't focus so much on it.

*** Reading a new book called [U]The Pain Chronicles[U] :

http://www.amazon.com/Pain-Chronicle...6983109&sr=8-1

and she discusses the fact that chronic pain changes the brain and always leads to depression. The fact you're posting here is a healthy action, but you should talk with your provider to see if there is any other help they can give.

*** Yes. It is depressing to think that every single damn day for the rest of my life I will be taking pills, applying Lidoderm patches and having to limit my evening activities. But when I consider the alternative.... well, I'm grateful for what I do have. For now.


*** Earlier this week I thanked my wife for listening so patiently when I whine and complain. I try to not put that all on her because the simple fact is despite all of her expressed sympathy, she cannot truly sympathize with me because she doesn't have chronic pain.

*** This message board, on the other hand, is full of people who have chronic pain and understand, so it's a safe place to complain.

*** BTW, I do use a sleep aide maybe 50% of the time, but it is Ambien. You may want to switch to an actual sleep aide rather than the valium. My doc says it is totally acceptable use (even daily) of the ambien.

CB

Good advice, cowboy!

And you're right, invisable, it is tough. And I won't tell you that there's really anything that takes the place of just making the pain stop, but I've been dealing with this for 3+ years, and can tell you that bad days vs good days aren't always about my level of physical pain. What I mean by that is that some days I can take more pain emotionally/mentally than others. So when people say that you have to try to stay positive and that sounds pretty lame to you (believe me, I know the feeling), try to remember that there really is something to it. Feelings have a way of feeding on themselves, both bad and good.

But also remember to kvetch when you need to--just like you're doing now!

It's hard... Tierd of crying.
I know bow you feel. I have been suffering for 12 yrs and ii am 32 so it started when I was 19.

I have two kids and don't jnownhow I did it and I feel all the jealousy resentment too.

I wish I can wake up one day and it's gone like it came.

I understand too. I take my dogs to our dog park if I'm up to it. It helps me to get my mind off what hurts and to be around other people. It really does help me. Plus, it is great to watch my puppy wear herself out playing. And maybe the folks there hurt too, but it generally isn't discussed. Or I'll take her for a walk if I can, just to get out of the house a few min. Or maybe go with a friend for coffee. Anything I can do to distract myself from myself helps.

Chronic pain patients (and others) go through 5 - 7 (depending on the source) stages similar to those of grief:

Shock or Disbelief
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Guilt
Depression
Acceptance and Hope

Not everyone goes through all of them - they may skip one or two - and not everyone goes through them in the same order. There may be something on them on one of the boards here, or you can search for stages of grief on the web and read a few of the articles to get a better understanding of each stage and what to expect.

People in chronic pain can also experience a phenomenon where pain, depression, and insomnia (and/or sometimes other symptoms) feed off of each other. Pain interrupts sleep cycles, which can cause depression, which in turn adds to the perception of pain.... etc. This is known as the vicious cycle. Search the web for chronic pain vicious cycle for more articles about this phenomenon.

Knowledge is power - and empowering.

There's a common element in each of the replies already given that are the key to most people's coping - distraction. Distraction can take many forms, but taking your mind off of the pain and focusing on things that bring you joy is the crux. It becomes a full-time job in some cases, but it's how we all cope - one way or another.

this past year i had counciling every monday over the phone and with it started celexa.I feel much better now mentally have a plan when i see myself slipping back into that dark place i am proactive.

Chronic pain is depressing.when you cant go and do like your friends it is hard to deal with.you feel cheated somehow.But I always see someone who is worse off than me and i am so thankful i am alive and doing the very best i can.
I also take amatriptyline for nerve pain my doc. thinks this is helping my depression some also.

Hi I am sorry for everyone mental pain on top of the physical. I can very much relate. I do see a psychiatrist and on meds. Also doing biofeedback. I do feel these things have helped to a degree. I overall cope better yet of course when I feel physically so bad and more physical symptoms mentally it is hard.
On my own I have been trying to stay in the day and get through it in the best way I can. I worry and fear a lot of the future and the what if's. Now when the thoughts creep in I try to stop myself and say worry about today and getting through it in the best manner. My pain doctor and I know I have said this before but says on the bad pain days do the best you can and on the good pain days do the best you can.
I agree with others that one goes through stages of feelings through physical conditions. To the OP have you taked to your doctor about trying another med for depression or maybe a combo? I am on cymbalta but with other meds. I am not sure how beneficial I feel Cymbalta has been. Of course everyone is different.
I also developed my condition at 28. I do wish I could do normal things like people my age but what I try to do now is work on ways to find things I can do. Of course it is sad and hard to not be able to do what others can but finding things you can do with your limits may help feel less of a loss. None of this is easy trust me. I am going through a very down time again so these are constant things I need to remind myself. Just hoping better will be ahead and trying to get through the best I can. I wish the same for everyone here too

I want to say one thing before I get started with what I have to say... You are 53 and have had your condition for less than two years.. yes, any condition is hard to deal with--but be thankful for the many many years you had without it.

I have had chronic pain since I was 8... and have been bedridden for 6 months. I could very easily spend my whole life depressed.. what 8 year old cannot participate in being a child because of chronic pain? What high school student wants to miss a ton of school and never be able to go out with friends because the pain is too bad? What college student wants to struggle through college with many professors and school officials saying "you can't do it--you might as well quit"? What 24 year old wants to be told that from this day forward, every day will be this way--being stuck in bed, not able to even sit up in a chair, not seeing the sunshine or feeling fresh air, never working to use the college degree, never having a chance to marry or have children?

And.. what 53 year old wants to have to cope with a new "normal".. struggling to find the good in with all of the bad that life has handed him/her? NONE!

None of us asked for these problems.. none of us want them.

I know that a lot of people with chronic pain experience depression.. and so I am not at all saying it isn't normal.

BUT.. I truly believe the symptoms of depression can be lessened (not totally swept away, at least not always) by learning to be grateful for the things you have.. and being thankful for one more day to live.

If I would have given in to all the depressing thoughts that have entered my head since 8 years old, I would have absolutely nothing to live for.. and I would have been gone a LONG time ago. Even in the last year.. it is extremely hard to lose my dream of becoming a mother and a teacher when, according to doctors, I will spend every day of my life (whether that is three months or seventy five years) in this 4 by 6 ft space.

I'm not saying that the key is to deny the depression and pretend like life is all about puppies and rainbows. I think people do a great disservice to themselves if they deny the depression or shove it out of their minds.

The fact is, it's a part of life.. for a lot of people. Even more so if you are dealing with chronic pain. There are a lot of ways to treat depression--therapies, medications, holistic approaches, talking about things, writing about things, etc. But what I am saying is that you need to find a way to address the struggles in life--and then beyond that, try to stay as positive as possible.

I have been lucky to not struggle a whole lot with depression. I have bad days, yes.. and I have a lot of days where I am down and out physically and sometimes my emotions go right along with that. But, I've been through severe depression before and I am not struggling with that right now, despite my more than 10 medical problems.

When I am feeling down or am frustrated with how things are going, I write. Some people talk, some people cry, some people exercise.. I write. I have a blog as well as a CaringBridge which I use not only to vent and talk about the things that bother me, but also to keep a record of doctor appointments and important events... and to keep the people in my life informed on my conditions.

When I am upset about something, I write. I may say two sentences or twelve pages... but I allow myself to "get it all out". Then, I try to move on. Does that mean those things never come back up and that I am 100% better? No. But I know that dwelling on them for days and weeks and months on end does absolutely no good. I make changes where I can.. and if it is something out of my control (like how discouraging it is to be 24 and stuck in bed all day and all night), I try to just think about something else. I watch a movie, read a book, talk to a friend, play with my cats. Many times I have stopped and challenged myself to write down all of the good things in my life. That list is probably ten times as long as the list of problems in my life. I think it's natural for us to focus on the bad things in life because they are usually the ones that affect us the most. But when I force myself to start looking at the positives, I am able to see good in even the negatives.

The hardest thing for me is to be stuck in bed. I would give almost anything to be able to sit up in a chair in the living room or be able to go to the grocery store or be able to take a walk outside. But what is the good in the situation? I can rest my body all the time.. I can be there for my friends whenever they need me since I have no other commitments. I can watch lots of movies. I can read whenever I want and go through multiple books a day. I can spend hours just cuddling with my cats. I can use my time to reach out to others who are hurting. I don't have to get up early to go to work. I don't have to go outside when it is -25 degrees and three feet of snow. I can dream up ideas for children's books (which has always been a dream of mine--to write them). I can do a lot of research and learn as much as possible about each of my conditions so I can get the best possible treatment. I can spend time each day writing letters or cards for people who need encouragement. If I need to sleep or rest at odd hours, I can. I don't have the added expense of gas for my car. I can spend time on NT and other websites meeting and talking to people who can relate to my situation. I can catch up with friends that I have lost touch with because I've been "too busy".

I think you get the point. Every single bad thing in my life also comes along with some positives. If I never take the time to think about them and focus on them, I would indeed spend every minute of every day depressed. I have a lot to be thankful for...

I am not saying that clinical depression can be whisked away by happy thoughts. Depression is a serious medical problem.. and usually requires treatment of some sort. But beyond that depression.. we all have a choice what to focus on and what kind of outlook to have. Even in the absolute darkest time of your life, there are positives. You just have to train yourself to look for them. It's the only way I can stay positive and hopeful... without it, I would see absolutely no point in living my life.

Thank you all for the wonderful, heartfelt responses. You all contributed to putting some oxygen in my lungs.

Sometimes I forget some of the things I do have to be grateful for........the pain and abnormal sensations seem to take the lead in my mind.

I will try to put to practice some of your suggestions.

You are all to be admired in your coping skills, thank you for sharing them with me.