Mike,

(Apologies for multiple replies - sometimes the thoughts come in clusters....)

I'm at around 15 months. Not much for PN; horrible for pregnancy. I can commiserate with early progression; scares the cuss out of me. Depression comes & goes, and the way I've found to deal with that is to ignore it (the depression) by focusing elsewhere. Defeat is a bit more complicated. As human/living beings, we're all imbued with a will to survive, compete, and persevere; we have no choice in this - it's hardwired. We do have a choice in how we view things, whether we're going to deal with the cuss thrown at us, and how we're going to deal with it. It's not easy - it's hard. But it's still our choice.

Many of us have a lot more on our plates than just PN - maybe you too(?) Some are worse - some not as bad. Looking at the big picture, there's still more worth enjoying/experiencing/celebrating/what-have-you than not. I'm going to suck everything out of this life that I can as long as I can because it's the only one I've got, and anything else would be a lot of regret later. We all have regrets, and IMO, they can suck a lot worse than PN.

Doc