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12-02-2011, 08:10 PM | #41 | ||
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I believe that both Blaine and I mentioned that at least some of our children are adopted, so even though I would disagree that there are too many people in the world, these people were already here
Also, both of us have been diagnosed in the recent past, after having our families. I would not want to be taking care of an infant right now, but I can handle a 12 and 17 year old. There are a few differences between children and hobbies or pets! Most of us probably have both. Children are infinitely more rewarding, both in the short term and the long run. But parenting isn't everyone's cup of tea. Obviously |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | adelina (12-02-2011) |
12-03-2011, 01:11 AM | #42 | ||
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Humans are only like this when their toddlers before being influenced and conditioned by society, media and everything else , and occasionally they become aware of it enough to change it.. but not often m |
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12-04-2011, 05:24 AM | #43 | |||
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In relation to getting angry about parents, friends, and other family members not coming to the party... I have learned the lesson of not having any expectations. I found that I measured people by how I believed I would behave in the same situation. When they fell short, I felt betrayal and pain. It was only when I finally let go that I was finally able to be free of all that.
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"Thanks for this!" says: | malawigirl08 (12-04-2011), Susanne C. (12-04-2011) |
12-04-2011, 07:52 AM | #44 | ||
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12-04-2011, 10:10 PM | #45 | |||
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To make the long story short I think that most of the problems experienced in our relationship are due to a lack of pain control/ management for me. Yesterday I had level 8/9 pain all day.I broke down twice and even threatened to move out for no reason. I don't want to move out. I just moved in. What was my problem....THE PAIN!! If most of us weren't in so much pain the quality of our lives would be so much better. My pain also gives me massive anxiety and makes me feel demoralised. When you feel like that, how can you give your best to someone else?? I am no hero, I am on panadol osteo with little success right now. I need to talk to my GP about a better nerve drug to help manage this pain. I also have a 12 year old boy and a full time job. Hands full like most women. God give us strength. |
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12-13-2011, 10:17 PM | #46 | |||
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ginnie (05-31-2012) |
12-14-2011, 11:56 AM | #47 | ||
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Things are not going so well right now. Christmas is coming and we don't really have enough money for everything so hubby is very stressed. So he is being very mean to me. He gets very angry every night and is horribly insulting to me. He apologizes the next morning, but does it again in the evening. This is really rediculous. I know he harbors resentment towards me about my condition and that I can not contributue more towards the family; he, in one of his mean moods, had demeaned about my condition. I have tried every method I can think of to avoid these moods of his - now I just get up and go to another room or go to sleep. But it is really ruining our relationship. Any advise? What do you do in your marriage, if you don't mind me asking, what sort of problems do you have? How do communicate during problem times? |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ginnie (05-31-2012) |
04-27-2012, 11:53 AM | #48 | |||
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I agree that it's really hard to tell people close to you what's going on with your pain. My social life comes to a screeching halt when I get sick. Some friends will be patient with you when you cancel plans and others get ****** off. For the one's who get ****** off at you, if that person hasn't ever experienced the horrific pain of a migraine or any other severe pain from a disease/health condition, they just don't get it. Some of them may want to understand but there will always be a big gap in terms of understanding for those that don't have chronic pain.
I have also found it particularly frustrating when some people don't seem to think it's real or as bad as I say it is. That hurts to get that type of response. Those of you who suffer from chronic severe migraine probably have experienced this too when dealing with others. Some friendships drift away because a friend doesn't know how to deal with disability/chronic pain. I've lost a few friends because of my health issues. As it turns out, the ones that left were lacking in other areas too so maybe it's for the best that they're gone now. The friends that have stuck around I cherish more than ever. All we can do is keep trying to help our family and close friends to understand what it is that we go through. Just because they don't always understand doesn't mean they don't love us or don't want to help. We have to find other ways to help them understand and sometimes have to tell them specifically what it is that we need help with when having a flare up. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ginnie (05-31-2012) |
04-28-2012, 12:59 PM | #49 | ||
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ginnie (05-31-2012) |
05-31-2012, 04:11 PM | #50 | |||
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I appreciate what people are saying on this thread very much. I have toxic neuropathy in both feet, and got the diagnosis recently even though it took about two years for them to find out what it is. When my contract is over at work (I am struggling to fulfill it), in a month or two, I had offered to move in with my mother and stepdad in Florida to look after them. My mom had a stroke, and tries to take care of everything herself. My stepdad has dementia and is very close to being amubulatory, but still at home. I quit drinking months back when I got the diagnosis, and have been in pain non-stop since then. I was afraid to broach the subject of relationships, but it sounds like everyone basically feels the same way I do - I can't possibly complain to a stroke victim about my constant pain, no matter how much I want to. I'm not sure if this is going to work, but I promised I would go down and help out. I now understand why people with chronic pain off themselves. I was incapable of understanding that beforfe, and none of my friends could possibly understand it. Thanks for the thread. In some ways, it helps. Brue
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ginnie (05-31-2012) |
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