Adelina I haven't forgotten you, I have some health things of my own going on too. I hope you can go forward with the counseling, if it does nothing else it should help you be more comfortable with whatever decision you make.

Here are some more links, maybe they will give you a little head start. Many problems between men and women stem from their differences, your husband will never be able to think like a women and you will never react like a man. I know its hard.

http://www.tellinitlikeitis.net/2008...-so-weird.html

http://www.mastersofhealthcare.com/b...womens-brains/

http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Arti...esMenWomen.htm

I have not forgotten about you eithor. I sure hope you are OK. Please let us know how you are doing. Were you able to get some council? I do care what happens to you, and I am always here ready to try and help. You are in my prayers. ginnie

Hi - first thing this morning I called 8 therapists and left messages. Three returned my call; one we have an appointment with on Wednesday to meet her, and another gave me some additional referrals as his schedule was full. One was not in my area at all.

Quite frankly I don't know what to feel. He still does not he does anything wrong. I don't know how far we will get if this is the case, but I guess that at least we can try. Maybe a therapist will be able to convince him he does wrong - but i really don't want to make the therapy about that! I want to focus on re-bonding and moving on with our lives, i am just so confused. Am I just being weak? Am I being an enabler - or am I the bad guy? If he really has something like a Narcissistic personality disorder - it is likely that he will NEVER stop his hurtful behavior.

He blames all his anger on me, says that it is my fault. If he treats me bad it is because I did something to him. Which, fine, a year ago plus, I would somewhat agree - we were both hurting each other in many ways. But I have strived since then to stop and change the dynamic of our relationship and the harder I try the angrier he became. Does this make sense to anyone? Well at this point I am going from moment to moment. Please - some feedback would be appreciated - do I sound ridiculous?

OH! Zygo - those links you sent were great! They were super informative and helpful. I hope that I get him to look at them as well with an open mind sometime. Maybe he could see things in a better light too and finally look at himself. Or maybe I should just not. I don't know. He was one of those GENUINE "Nice" guys. A real-true-good-nice person. But thats all changed; he's bitter, hurt, angry, sarcastic, sour and angry now.

Well Thanks again. I hope your health prob's arn't to bad - I really don't know many peoples history here at all and would love to know more. I hope that is not too intrusive. I really have found it nice to care about others, especially in regards to pn. It is such a horrible sort of health debilitator. And one has to have to know it. ughh!

one person cannot fix the problem. It has to be a joint effort where both of you strive for the same thing. If only one person is ready to change and admit a problem, how far do you think you would get? You are being abused emotionally, this is not your fault dear woman. You are trying to find excuses for "his" behavior. Dear Adelina, get that therapist, and tell her or him everything. You need someone in your corner right now, so that you don't continue to take all the blame for this situation. That comes from despiration to make this relationship right. He has to be that willing partner. I so wish you were not in so much pain. I am praying for you. ginnie

Hi Adelina, I would like to offer you some hope. I too was in a situation similar to yours. I did go into counseling with my husband and that helped us both to look at what the other was going through. We were in a bad place. I had one foot out the door. But here is the hopeful part it worked for us. We have never been this happy and it has been about 2 years so its working. I am not saying that we never have any issues anymore but we manage to be civil and work through them. I pray that this can happen with you and your husband. You both need to go into counseling with an open mind and heart. Sometimes after counseling you may feel really down, remember that is normal. It is hard to hear tough things. Give it your best. I believe you will know if he wants this to work also. So will the counselor. It isw a step in the right direction that you are going. Good Luck

Thank you for your kindness and the hope that you gave to adelina. I am so blessed to know the people on this site. Isn't it amazing how we reach out to each other? We all care about her. I too want for her to be able to work out her relationship. Love is always an answer.ginnie

Aldelina...I am thinking about you. You are in my prayers as I go to bed this night. I am so glad, there are such good people to offer comfort to you. I sure am hoping that you will again be happy someday in this marriage. ginnie

Oh thank the universe for all of you! I have been in agony simply because I spent Mondaay at the computer. Now grantedafter three years I should know better. But I was just so chraged after waiting through the entire x-mas break to '"do" something about my situation, I spent most of monday going to cvaroius websites and making telephones calls to get help. Well that is using my arms. STUPOFDSHFFAEAYGFLIAELUIvhlu mns'judfe!!!!!


DAQMNBGKUIG oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh IT JUST MAKES ME SOOOO MAD AND FFURIOUS AND EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO BE NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was careful, I took alot of breaks, but i just hate that I can't be a human. I just typed and made teephone calls -how hard is that. it makes me feel worthless - useless!!!!!! I hurt so much now and if I even sit at the computer my arms and hands turn to ice. I need to get a laptop that work (i have one but its crashed) and then I could maybe recline and would not hurt as much i dont know? But of course that starts the circular argument of money!? - it really feels hopeless. I had to make all those phone calls though. And that is the good part.

Husband and I met with one therapist last night and we have an app to meet with another on Monday to see which we prefer. I have really been looking in to about my personal issues and ordering some books and addressing them. I have hope for my self. I t just really frustrates me that Ican't function enough to type daily. I even have the dragon software - but get this - my desktop computer can't support the software and my laptop crashed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need i padded room for a while i think. ok got to go realy aching right now. i hope to feeel better later maybe and thank you all for your insiration - hopeful, ginnie your stories are so very much what i need to hear. Pleas know that I really, really really appreciate hearing what you haveto say. To know what you ahve gone through and how you have handled it helps me alot ---

You are human, and a very good one at that. Please try not to blame yourself for this situation. He just may not be able to see the problems. I am also sorry for your physical pain which makes everything so much harder to endure. Please endure, fight through pain, both emotional and physical so that maybe you can be in a better place in your own heart. Pain is so agrivated when there are emotional upsets. You are living an upset life right now. I will pray your councelor can begin to sort through things, so that there can be improvement, and God willing reconsiliation in your marriage. Nobody wants a marriage to fail, noone. It hurts, and turns a life upsidedown for awhile. I hope your husband will be open to see himself through another persons eyes. You mentioned that he never did this before your health condition turned like this. Some people, of eithor sex, have a terrible time in dealing with their partners decline. It takes alot of effort, and that unconditional love. If you cannot help each other now, how would you deal with the death and decline of eithor of you? Marriage sure included the vows better or worse parts. Maybe he needs to remember that part of your vows. He is just having alot of trouble I think in accepting you limitations. I hope he can grow with you, rather than apart from you. You will be in my prayers,on
Wed. for your council appt. I wish you all the best, ginnie

Boy oh boy, Zorro, you are so right....An invisible disability is tough....Especially one where gravity is the enemy.....I am that sort of incapacitated....And it's tougher than anyone can understand, even me....I've had to be moved in with someone that is truly too busy to care for me and my youngest adult child has followed me....Now I feel between a rock and a hard place.....My mind tells me I need to pull my weight, which I can't...And my sons weight as well, as he's not been able as of yet to step up....He has a Ventricular Shunt...Cranial....Two brain surgeries before he was in the first grade...I tell folks he's not like others and he's not....He needs much guidance....And now that I'm injured, I can't just have the liberty of jumping in my car to show my son what's out there for him and his future....Not to mention I'm totally lost as I am house bound and bed bound on more occasions than I care to admit....Yes, I am in a bit of denial but with the Neurological condition (RSD/CRPS) that I have...I have no control of my body not being able to do what my mind tells me I should be able to do....Not even I understand how to control the nerve thing as it consumes me and then the stress level is what creates all the emotional monsters for me....Then the pain....Makes it seem as though the world is going to end...But only for me....No matter how much good may be surrounding my circumstances...I can't seem to see it....Depression sneaks in and is not recognized by so called professionals even though anyone would admit if they were in constant pain for years at a time, they'd be depressed....But the medicine I have to take creates depression too...It's very hard to make mental notes of all the good....When I have no control of what drop kicks me from any activity....Getting out of bed is a major accomplishment....I need to find a support group that has a taxi service....It just feels like a constant waiting game....WC, SSD, I worry more for things I know I have no control of....And I don't know how to not....Anyway....I hope all of you have had a great day....I feel I need to come here more often....It's almost like speaking to someone....xxx