Hi Suzanne,

I'm very concerned about the depression and the eating. I get into troughs of despair and become totally inert and incapable of doing the simple things. When I get distracted from it and immerse myself in something else, it hits me like a ton of bricks when I remember it, (or more likely when the pain or numb spot when I walk does).
It's as if my subconscious wants it permanently at the forefront of my mind so that I don't have to be repeatedly upset by it. Better to be constantly miserable than peaks and troughs. Crazy logic I know...People get ill. They deal with it. I find it excruciatingly difficult.
I envy everyone else, whatever their problems and think they are better off than me. I think that's why I can't get it off my mind. I get little windows of time when I'm able to put it in perspective so there's hope at least: but as everyone who uses this site for advice and support knows, it can be a devastating, lifechanging experience.

Take care,
Karen