[surfer00]

I've had PN for about three years now. Mainly in feet, claves and thighs. I'm male, 56 y.o.

Here's my typical day:
Wake up and eat breakfast. My feet are usually sore when I get up, but quickly improve as I walk around the house. They are just sore from laying on them all night.

After breakfast, I take a shower and get dressed. I only wear shorts and flip flops now. Long pants irritate me and shoes are out of the question. I live in So. Cal, so it's not a big deal really. By the time I get out of the shower, my feet hurt. I think its just from standing in the tub/shower and my feet rest on the curve of the tub, if that makes sense.

I get dressed and have learned its best to soak my feet in ice water, while I sit on ice packs behind my thighs, before I drive to work. I do this for about 10 minutes and then go to work.

At work, I sit at a desk and after about an hour, I need to get ice packs that I leave in the office fridge and sit on them. I have two pair that I rotate throughout the day. I work for commissions only, so everyone's pretty cool about my condition and don't have a say when I go home. I go home about 3 p.m. each day because i can no longer stand it at my desk.

When I get home, I have to lay down from anywhere from 1/2 hour to an hour. The Neurontin (3X600) makes me so tired, I can't really avoid the nap. I awake pretty refreshed, but I go downhill pretty quick after that. I make a few calls for work and then do my soaking ritual. I call the ice water my 'morphine'. It temporarily gives me relief by just numbing everything.

I care for my mom now and bring her dinner about 6. By this time, I'm often on the verge of tears, due to the pain. By 7, I'm usually home and eating dinner. I'm married and my wife is very supportive and often rubs my feet and legs while we watch tv. Sitting in the chair at night is often impossible due to pain.

I smoke medical marijuana in the evenings and that helps a lot. I almost always sleep thru the night. I am only pain free while I'm sleeping and look forward to it every night. Of course, I can't smoke pot during the day.

Tomorrow I go to my g.p. I have crappy insurance thru the county and my dr is pretty clueless on the subject. He just smiles and asks if I want to up my Neurontin. He tries. I guess. He has referred me to get some sort of neuro test and supposedly the results came back 'fine'. Today, I went to an appt with the vascular surgery dept, but they had no idea why he sent me.
As you all know, when you find out you just wasted another morning at the drs for nothing, it can be very frustrating. Frustration = Pain.

So here's the point that I'm getting at. Like I said, I have an appt with my g.p. tomorrow. In the past I've asked him if I can get anything for my break-thru pain. He has always acted like I just asked him to rob a bank or something. He knows I live with cronic pain and its not getting better. I don't want to get hooked on pain killers either. However, it appears I'm coming to the end of my proverbial rope. Lately I've been very agitated and have taken it out on my wife, a coworker and the checker at the market. It's not like me to be that way. I've always been a happy go lucky guy.

Is it ok for me to insist the dr help me in some way with the pain? I know that pain meds are a hot topic lately due to abuse, but aren't they made for people like us? I mean, who has to live in 24 hour pain with no hope of getting better? Also, do pain meds work with PN?

Sorry for the rant. I've been in a bad place lately and I really don't want to keep on this path because I don't know if I can.

Thank you.