By January 6, 2016 New York State should be up and running with the medicinal marijuana program. While it is restrictive in many ways (20 dispenseries for all of NYS, limited conditions(though neuropathy is listed) and no combustion of plant material- no smoking.

There is vaporizor oil to be dispensed, to nod toward the benefit of time to relief felt, but hopefully at some point they will consider what cannabanoids, terepens (sp?) and other potentially beneficial things are removed in the conversion process.

I have a few dear friends where I work. They are in the know. I feel bad for bringing them in lately. The sadness in their eyes mirrors mine. It is comforting often, but I do have pangs of guilt.

I am positive that I am misread by many there. My expensive piece of paper is an English degree, focus on literature. Appearance versus reality is infinitely more fascinating when you are not the protagonist/antagonist. But I disgress, as I often do.

One of my more conservative confidants has been tracking the approval. I always demure on getting near the front of the line. Surely others are worse off.

My friend D pointed out my increasingly shabby quality of life. It is true. So I eagerly await my next neurologist appointment were I broach the subject in general terms- Do you plan on becoming certified?

I am staying with him for now regardless. He took an MRI to cross the potential for MS off a worry list despite his position of "nope this is moderately severe diabetic poly neuropathy."

You see, another restriction is you must be in the care of your prescriber for 6 months minimum and have tried other measures. Only opiates have not been directed at this point (the opioid Tramadol is all I take now) and they blanche at it due to my age (41).

That is fine. I would be willing to try anything semi reasonable at this point. I agree. Diminshing quality with maximum effort.

I desire having as many quality moments as I can. Sometimes a good day is that moment when my 3 1/2 year old son looks at, my less jaded Han Soloish smirk emblazoned on his face with his Mother's large almond shaped brown eyes and says, "Your amazing, Dada."

If taking three drops in the morning of a tincture sets me right for the day until I get home, I am all in.

I continue behaviors consistent with betterment. I am rounding the corner of acceptance that now many be the best I feel from here on out. I don't view it as defeatist. I will continue to turn over stones, poke about, change what is not working and try something new.

I hope for a smirk moment for you all, no make that three. It's the nagic number, oh yes it is.

My best,

Jon

Hi, and thanks for that inspirational post. You have a pretty strong attitude. I'm working on mine.

MJ has worked well for me this past year. It's the only pain med I'm usings other than Phenibut. Both of those have been very helpful, especially for anxiety/stress. I usually can get to sleep and manage up to 7 hours at times. I only use it at bedtime for this reason. I take Phenibut once a day. In Russia is is prescribe for depression and anxiety and neuropathic pain. Compared to what I was seeing as side effects from the US pain meds this stuff is very clean of negative side effects. But of course if you use it every day you'll get addicted like I am. It's very inexpensive and I have not seen it mentioned by anyone but myself.

The struggle may well be one step forward and two steps back. I know of no better legacy to leave a son than the memory of a father who was a fighter.Happy Fathers Day, Ken in Texas.

To think that there is a simple plant that could alleviate or at least lessen the pain and symptoms of neuropathy and that it is an illegal substance when it happens to be so much safer than ALL of the nerve/ anti-epileptic drugs/ narcotics...... It is ridiculously sad.

The pharma and cotton lobbies are alive and well with deep pockets, but we're slowly getting there.

Yeah, it's still a joke; a little natural weed that doesn't cause anywhere near the problems of alcohol is illegal.

Is it not so blatantly ridiculous?

While cannabis is great for many things (I use it mainly for insomnia), if it's pure pain you're dealing with then THE natural analgesic is kratom. It's legal in all but I think 3 states (NY is not one of those to the best of my knowledge) and readily available through many reputable online vendors, although I would avoid whatever they're selling in headshops.

Anyone who'd like to learn more, please PM me.

Icelander,

My attitude was poorer than poor today. This weather feels like it is affecting me- stormy for weeks- wind, thundershowers and humidity rising. Work is grating me. I acknowledge that much of my consternation is how amplified all the nonsense seems when my legs and arms are humming, muscles doing their thing, and so on.

I made it through, though. My son is passed out on the ottoman with what we hope is a 24 hour bug (Well I hope 4 hour) which has brought me back to the what is important, what isn't conversation.

I have always thrown myself into my job. My job still gets my production, but I've been listening to music, distracting myself and honing my focus. When I have client contact I am not plugged in, but all other times music is Pied Piping me through my day.

I also whole heartedly agree on the side effects of the usual suspects. Neurotin was not a match, Lyrica was until I was seeing diminishing returns plus a missed dose clued me in on how much mentally I was quid pro quoing for my "relief". Too steep.

A one month trial at half dose Cymbalta was uncomfortable, with no relief. The no relief portion is not surprising. The alertness was uncomfortable and I didn't feel an adjustment.

I am tired of teetering and tottering. Maybe I still will, but I need some relief.

When this first started slow on medicine was fine. There were plenty of changes I could try. I tried everything. Here I am, still progressing.

So it goes.

I have a lot of experience with Kratom which I consider a much safer opioid type substance but with less potential for debilitating addiction. It's ok for pain but IMO the pot is better. It's a very pleasant high if you find good quality Kratom. There are many varieties with slightly different effects. I quit fairly easily after using daily for about a year and having worked up to some staggering doses.

And I agree that in headshops is overpriced and very questionable quality.

I feel ya. It's hard to have a good attitude when you are suffering and scared. I know this feeling soooooo well. I'll tell you something.
About a half year before the first signs of neuropathy, I bought a ukulele and decided to learn to play it. I'd always listened to tons of music but I wanted to play and sing. Well long story short it's been a huge emotional lifesaver for me during this illness. Fortunately most of the hand pain is on the backs of the hands and I can still play for over an hour at a time with no problems. Music is healing for me. So I say play on!