[KnowNothingJon]

We don't need no REM...

Yes we do, but the misbehaven nerves will not have it. Thankfully, much like my first post here it is not a work night, so I can indulge the discomfort, relieve my incredible best friend of 21 years of my tossing and turning and pull up the ottoman to muse for a bit with like afflicted individuals.

It is raining at the moment, I just heard water coming down a gutter so this all makes more sense. Weather eats at me like sugar a cavity. I honestly feel like my nerves are a cavity and there is a gummy bear stuck to them. That sort of pain.

I have been pulling off force of will level pressing on for many reasons & will continue to for some of those reasons. Adjustments are in motion on others. My wife and I are both of the mind I am unlikely to be fit to work to standard retirement age. Ok.

Not ok, but ok.

So, what now. Well now we plan and formulate and figure out what the heck all that means and when and how and if we can afford to have me be Mr. Mom. I have no issue with the concept of it, rather with how it is coming about.

Thankfully, I don't think it is something that has a quick timer on it. Of course, I also thought I was on a pretty good trajectory at the start of this year.

I will close with saying that making positive changes to my diet, exercising to tolerance and trying to maintain a positive focus are key. On that last point, I fall flat on my face often. How can I not? Some days I can't button a shirt well, my pens fly out of my hand and I walk like I am doing the Bambi.

But I find a laugh, or an act of kindness to bestow or see some beauty or someone who is obviously working harder than I am at their day. Perspective.

I hope you find this after a pleasant nights sleep or when you are comforted, but if it is on a bad night or you are rough off, you are not alone.

And the sun also rises.

My best,

Jon