I didn't realize the "booze" thing may have been an issue.

Actually, I was just trying to brighten you up a bit.

But you're going through a really rough patch, I know. And the stuff with your son, well, no parent should ever have to go there.

All we can do is hold your hand (in cyber-space), until you find some kind of peace.

And I'm not going to give you the "life hands you lemons, so you make lemonade" speech. When my son left 5 years ago, I made so much lemonade I could throw up.

No, you'll deal with what your dealing with, however you can deal with it.

All I can do is wish you and your family well.

Melody

Thanks to my PN family. I kinda needed the shoulder today. you all have been very comforting. doesn't do a thing for the situation, but what the 'hey'......its comforting
Dan, I visit my son in the nursing home every week.
I see him in his power wheelchair- and so many others that are there, that are hoping against hope. Some are truly hopeless and homeless, but for the nursing home- some have no one to visit, or care about them at all.
Every week, Dan - and I know that my problems are but a pittance to thiers, especially my son Adam. Sometimes it makes me very teary-eyed when I turn around and walk to the parking lot after saying good-bye for the day. I know what you mean, Dan.
Tony,
Thanks for the rest of the Job story, I'd forgotten that part.
it lightens my heaviness, today.
Gotta run, now. Things to be done, still.
But thanks to all of you.

--which I know (especially with your son) has been quite trying for a while now.

I can't add much to what the others have said--there's some really good advice in there--except perhaps to point out that if depression is anger turned inward, find an appropriate situation where you can turn that anger out. (That landlord might be a good place to start.)

Now, one must always be cautious of misdirected enmity--but I'm sure there are numerous places where that energy can be properly directed.

Bay at the moon.
Bang a gong.
Whack a mole.
Whatever gives some release.

This may not help more than temporarily, but it has mood-altering properties if done over time, even infrequently . . .

My relatives are not known for pithy statement nor cogent aphorism, but Great Aunt Jenny used to tell us to strive to be people that gave ulcers, not people that got them. May be something to that.

In other words, Bob, crack open a cold one and watch some sex-errr cute ladies shakin' their booties on T.V.!

I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. It makes me hurt for you. And everyone else out there in the same boat. There are so many... Hard to feel like you're keeping your head above water. I'll be vibing for you that there's something that happens that will restore your hope and the light you need to keep going.

factor...they seem to expect it or want, maybe, to push some new 'calming' med that puts you in the frame of mind that compounds the lethargy, tiredness, memory function issues in combination with your current meds..
I often wonder if that would ultimately 'spread' the potential liabilities.

Well, when my docs ask me about my 'stress'--I simply look at each with dead-on direct eye contact and ask back: 'To NOT be under stress under this circumstance would be a greater indication of problems, wouldn't it?'
I am never or rarely [maybe once a year] asked that 'routine' question again. Having a chronic illness, and this IS one good one for sure...IS STRESSFUL! I mean, get real docs! Your body is attacking itself - excuse me, why should this NOT be STRESSFUL? It is compounded by the fact that most of those around you have no clue as to the constant, persistent internal demons that seem to have picked our nerves to gnaw on. It is compounded by the issue that doctors and researchers have done little to find out why this happens, continues to happen and much less how the manifestations vary soo widely with such a paltry vocabulary to plain out EXPLAIN it all.

Dear Bob, I don't have your pain and all the other stresses that come with your life, I have my own. But I do hope I can identify with about 90% of IT? You know, we all try to be strong, but, sometimes, just the vent of a good cry or [if it doesn't do too much damage to yourself] wall punching seems to be in order! Just know, that I am trying to KNOW, applying what I know of my situation to yours... -THIS is what you have lots of! - j

Well, Glenn I've got me 2 flat-top acoustic, one classical guitar, and an ole banjo that sits on the piano bench in my LR out of its case ready to bang on. I've been bangin on one or the other, since about 1958. You haven't had the opportunity to hear me play, but I've a 2-1/2 year old beagle (our adopted baby- the day before my son's accident last Sept) that will sit and literally howl while I'm playing/practicing. Its nice to know that she's my constant critic. It really is 'a hoot', and one of my self-therapy items.

Bob,

Make a video of yourself playing these instruments. Upload it to youtube, then give us the link.

We can then HOWL with your beagle

lol

Melody

don't underestimate how depressing visiting that nursing home can be.
I work with long term care, and I get depressed just doing the orders and reading it all. It doesn't affect my colleagues much, but it does me.
For example one poor lady has breast cancer and gets 30 units of lidocaine jelly in special tubes to apply over her huge wound and the wound dressings...
It is the largest order I have ever seen...and it pains me each time I get it.
She must be suffering so. (I can only imagine the area she has open, and hurting!)

I think as we age, we become more sensitive to suffering. I know I am.
It becomes harder to avoid the truths of getting old.

One thing I do is avoid avoid the news. I watch a few minutes of headline news and the Yahoo titles, but I don't open them all by any means. The news is VERY upsetting, and we just don't need that on top of all the work/personal struggles.
We can't do a thing about most of it.

My husband has been a rock for me too. Having a significant other really helps. I also do my self-hypnosis in bed, and you can learn this trick at a therapist's too. It has helped me for YEARS! And I use my MP3 player in bed when I can't sleep...they are pretty affordable now. I have a Sansa e280 with 8 gig. I have my favorite nostalgia music on it. These players are really spiffy now...my first computer was 1 gig!

I'll be rooting for you this summer. Sending some positive vibes! I hope you feel better. Get some sun (light and Vit D) and that ALWAYS helps.

I am a little late getting here, as I have been offline this weekend. But I am sure that the Lord has heard you,and is with you when you walk into your shop in the morning,as you work on the jobs, when you finally go home,and as you lay your head down to rest.

He is with you always and knows and understands your suffering. All of your hard work is not for nothing, and the toil has but made you stronger.

I hope and pray you find the much needed rest and peace that you so deserve.

You know what I appreciate about our little group?? We help ourselves and we help each other. But what do you do when someone needs help and steadfastly refuses to get some.

What do you do when you are sitting outside with friends and neighbors. And your friend is a diabetic (just like I am), only she's 300 lbs and her sugar is through the roof. She knows I went to Cornell, I got into the diabetic protocol, I get all testing supplies and insulin for free (as she could have). I once told her "come with me, you'll get the best care (I mean, it's Cornell Medical Center in NYC, for goodness sake). She's had heart problems for years. But she said "no, I don't want to travel all that way into the City". I said "we can go with my Acess-a-ride, it will cost you $2.00) She said "No, I don't want to go". So I said nothing more after that.

Then I developed Diabetic Neuropathy, with all the tingling, buzzing, burning. I told her. She said "oh you have neuropathy"?? I then said: "but don't you remember, when you last went to the doctor, for your stomach, he told you that you have a diabetic stomach? She has all the symptoms. Her doctor told her to lose weight, control her blood sugar and take regulan. The only thing she does is take the Regulan. So last night we are sitting outside and she's complaining about her stomach. I told her, very politely" "But you have been told you have a diabetic stomach, what don't you understand"?

Her response: "What the heck (she didn't say heck), do doctor's know? He doesn't know my body". (She had initially asked me to look up diabetic stomach, gastroparesis, etc. which I did, and carefully explained how important it is to control your blood sugar). She pooh-poohed this and last night told me "you think I have a diabetic stomach" I said "no, your doctor does". She got mad and said "what does he know, he doesn't know anything" Her sugar is 180 to 195 every day. She says "well, that's good for me, because it used to be 250". She also said (and she weighs over 300 lbs). she said: "well, I know I can carry this weight, because I can walk, if I gain any more, then I won't be able to walk, so I can carry this weight".

Will someone please explain this way of thinking to me? She saw me go from my obese self to the person I am now, who can climb the stairs to her second floor apartment (she does so with much difficulty). She saw me go from a sugar reading of 400 to my present reading of 120 (and I work on controlling my blood sugar every day). They put me on Lantus, she takes 7 pills a day and won't go on insulin. Okay, that's her business.

But to sit across from me and start yelling "what does a doctor know about my diabetes?? when he's her doctor?", well, I just don't get it. By the way she's 63, and people think her 6'2 inch 65 year old husband is her son. Her husband looks about 45 to 50. Great body and can eat anything he wants. It's frustrating for her, this I know.

And her cardiologist called her the other day and told her to come in for an ultrasound of her legs. Her husband told her "that's just BS, he just wants to make money". I told her. "he wants to check for Peripheral Vascular disease, it's a non-invasive test, why not go and get it over with (I mean, she goes for colonoscopies, etc. with no problem) but anything else, (and she's also a cancer survivor, that's what I don't understand).

Her doctor once told her very sweetly (she told me), "hon, you must lose 100 lbs." She got up, screamed at him that her weight was none of his business and she walked out.

So I'd like to know what I'm supposed to say the next time we sit outside and she goes "my stomach is killing me, I had to take 3 pepsid, I can't digest anything". And she has begun swatting invisible insects on her legs. I do that all the time because I have neuropathy. God Forbid I open my mouth and tell her that she might have this. Forget about it.

I would love to have a generic comment or should I just shut my mouth. I know I can't help her but jeez, when it's right in front of your face, and you see that I have neuropathy, and I'm taking B-12 methyl, and then you go, "what does my doctor know, he's just a man, he doesn't know my body"., well, you want to hit her in the noggin.

Mel