Daniella, I think you are incredibly brave. My daughter has been treated for an eating disorder. She learned so much during her therapy and has really done well, but I know it is a daily stuggle for her. I am proud of you both.

Dakota -- it was nice to read your message... hopeful feeling from it.

I was looking to see if daniella had found some pans she liked...

I was wondering how her day was...

hugs to you both!

Considerthis sorry "ed" is short for eating disorder. Both of you I thank you for your praise. Considerthis I'm sorry about your stresses and know how hard it is to make life changes but they won't do them by themself. In my recovery I kept saying for things to change I have to do things in a different way. I will feel more anxious,stressed,but in the long run makes life better. Try to take 1 day at a time. Lists,goals and schedules help me.Also positive self talk even if you don't believe it now otherwise you set yourself up for failure. For me it was so hard to see things different but reminding myself they can be but setting goals.
Dakota thank you and I'm happy your daughter has gotten well too. Its suprising and sad how many people do share this issue.Its tue you do learn so much about yourself its like becoming a different person.
Melody first I know you battled weight issues and you deserve praise too.Whether you overeat to an extreme I mean or under its for the same types of issues and not wanting to cope with something. It can be also a slow suicide. I was inpatient with compulsive eaters,anorexics,and builmics and we all had a common bond of self destruction. I know for me therapy and support helped but I had to do the work. Your friend has to eat and her goal has to be a healthy weight. Its a hard transition but I had to think of food as my med for life. Its true there is little as she is an adult others can do to force her. I do know when inpatient an adult had her rights taken away but that takes awhile. I know before I got well the docs thought I would die or couldn't recover but I did so don't give up hope. Like I said though its going to be hard and scary but she can do it. Depression and anorexia are very connected. I often say I used to show how I felt in the inside on the out. I will say though that when I really began fueling and getting healthy for a brief time my depression was worse because I was looking at my life that had fallen apart,dealing with feelings after being numb through the anorexia for awhile,changing inside and out but in the long run the depression does get better. I think a helpful book for families and friends is surviving an eating disorder for families and friends of suffers. They suggested that for families when I was in treatment, For your friend Divorcing Ed and the something fishy website. I also mean it I'm here anytime.
Now I'm off to obsess about my move issue. I really have no idea and feel so caught. Like I said now it may be CA. I have to really weigh if the cold is going to just kill me and that would make it a must to move or is there a way I would adjust. Those 0 degree temps in the winter are brutal.

Hi daniella,

(((((((((daniella))))))))

OH... eating disorder. I'm soooo dense!

(ed)

You sound very good. Did you have a good day?


Oh... I know about doing the work. I sure am not wanting to do this appeal thing or other court stuff. I'm exhausted with it.

But I can't give up.


You are soooo right about doing positive self talk.
When I get scared I don't do it at all and I get myself more and more scared.

I used to read Creative Visualization by Shakti Gwaine... not sure I have the spelling even remotely right... and it was soooo great.

but then I got so familiar with it that I wasn't paying attention in the same way anymore.

Last year I did my Angel of Divine Love in the cool corner of my garden under my ponderosa pine... but then the neighbor cut down a part of the "roof" of tree boughs and vines and all of a sudden the road noise came in, so I haven't been sitting there and raising my mind to the Angel of Divine Love like I did last year.

(((((((((daniella)))))))


so where do you most want to move?

Have you been checking places out on the internet????

I'm so conflicted and I know I'm beating a dead horse with you guys. I need to make my decidsion on the move. Now for example today is rainy and colder and my pain is so much worse. If I stay here in MI I will be confined more to the house and even going out for a short time will make me feel worse. So moving sounds right BUT. If I need treatment or want to do a procedure at the pain clinic that will be hard though I know my mom will come. I was suppose to go to u fof m but could go to ucla clinic or Fl clinic I guess.Or maybe if I move to Fl though my gramps is ? at least if I need a procedure he could drive me. Right now though in pain I'm not willing to do more procedures because I have seen progress and fear going back. If I stay like this though I will have to try so that is why I may want to do something later. Then the issue of my mom and being alone that is going to be hard mentally and she is so wonderful. It could just be for 6 months of the cold,rain,snow and then could come back. I can't decide because I know the cold makes it worse but fear leaving and dealing with this on my own. I feel trapped. I'm 29 and can't make a choice. This sucks and its rainy today and cold and I hurt so much. Please any advice. I'm loosing my mind.

If the cold is causing you that much pain...then you need to go. Go live close to your Grandpa. Even tho you don't get along with him well, I'm sure he would take you to the hospital or for medical treatment. Good luck Sweetheart. Take care of you.

Billye

Hi Daniella,

(((((((((((((daniella))))))))))))))

When I moved from Wisconsin I'd been living in Green Bay and it had been 30 degrees below zero for three weeks. I went to the Ice Bowl Packers' game and you couldn't even see the people in the stadium across from you because of all the breath rising.

Even at that it was stressful leaving. And I was healthy. At that time I couldn't imagine not being healthy, though as I child I was very sick a lot of the time.

For me, moving has always been good.

Moving to England was good, then I wanted to move back here soooo much but couldn't figure out how since I had my small son and my mother had said never to return to Wisconsin since I had not married.

Finally one night I had a dream in which I swam back.

Since I have a fear of water, well, I knew I was going to get back to the U.S.

But now I'm so fed up with this country... the abysmal and continual lies ... it's just so disappointing.

I find it inconceivable now that I was going to kill myself in 1997 rather than leave this country because I thought it was the best in the world...

So things change.

I think your health will improve if you aren't so worried.

Is your grandfather in a part of Florida that tends to get the hurricanes? or not. That could be stressful...

I wish you felt better so you could look forward to your move as an exciting step, rather than a step to avoid some of the pain.

I have a quote on my weight loss page that goes, "It's so hard when I have to, so easy when I want to."

(((((((((((daniella))))))))))))

Do you have something you can do today that is fun?

I don't know what you all think about this, but what about starting with the pain program at the U of Mich and then after you begin to get some relief, making your decision on where to move then? Perhaps this might also help in keeping down some of the stress in moving, since the pain might improve... Or maybe you would not even have to leave if they could get your pain under control...

About the pans... My friend lost 3 large Macaws due to the fumes of Teflon pans, because the respiratory sacs in birds are highly sensitive. Strange they don't seem to offer and warnings about breathing these fumes to humans...

Cathie

Hi Cathy,

How are YOU?

You sound good...
I hope that reflects how you feel!!!!!!!

(I think you just had surgery... but I'm not good at remembering things... if I don't think about something every day, it fades...)

Yes, the Teflon pans are a bit shocking once you hear some of the stories.

Your poor friend, she must have been just devastated!

(((((((((Cathy)))))))))))

Hugs and thank you to all. Let me tell you whether a fluke or part due to the weather it has been the 24 hours from you know what. My pain is like before I went to the clinic as in crying pain. It has been rainy and colder for yesterday and today and the outlook is rain for a few days. I can't imagine though it could cause this much more pain. Not only is my inner ankle kill but the leg bones in both ache if that makes sense and the foot is cold. The pain clinic issue is a hard one. Now I have an apt here on the 29th but I go back and forth on what I'm willing to do but can't live like this. Now I'm hoping for a miracle but realistic is my pain going to be that much better to tolerate cold,snow,and rain which is what MI is after Sept. So if I move to CA which I feel I would like the best from fl and found a place I could do monthly rather then FL. Yes my gramps but I feel it may add mentally. I give you ex three years ago I wanted to kill myself so I called him crying as no one else was home. We started chatting and I was crying he said he had to go to Home Depot and would call me back. When he did it was 3 weeks later. I love him but he makes me feel so lonely. If I move I wonder if it would be better to get a referral to the pain clinic at that place then stop and start with more new docs after so many. Any thoughts? I hate stopping and starting and everyone on a different page. I'm going to call the anastesolgist I saw in Oh to see of a referal. I guess my fear and confusion is the option they gave me in OH was the catheter and I'm scared. If you guys remember before when I was starting new meds and the tests I thought I was dying from weird dizzy,pain,so on and no one did anything for me. I even told one doc I thought I was and he just looked at me. One gave me nasal spray. If I move it will be just for the thought of 6 months to get through the cold,rain,snow and my mom would visit in between. Ca I did treatment at so I do know a few people and can go to support groups. Just was hoping if I did the pc here and was better I could stay but in reality I don't think I will be able to cope with this cold. Before this whether it be because of the pn starting I can remember my feet going numb and the aches. This is just too much for me. I give you guys so much credit. The pain and making choices is so hard especially with nicken poop docs. I feel I would rather go to some of you guys for treatment help then a neuro who spent years in school. You guys are the best mental support that is for sure. Thanks and hugs to everyone.
P.S. Don't I sound like I have a mixed personality? I go back and forth with staying here,moving to FL,or to CA,pain management options. Ugh!