Just killing some time while I scan various pertinent lab reports. I don't actually leave until Sunday, but I've got a ton of last minute things to do Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and I might not get a chance to start a post before then. Getting ready to go someplace is just about as exhausting as actually going there.

My appointment is 6:45am on Monday, which is actually pretty amusing because I'm rarely coherent enough to form a sentence before 10am. I've been told it's not worthwhile to try and park near the hospital, so we're going to use the free shuttle provided by the hotel we're staying at. There's not enough room in our small car for suitcases, food AND my wheelchair, so I'll just use one of the wheelchairs at the hospital (I can get around ok without one for short distances).

I've got my version of LizaJane's charts done (modified a bit because I've had lots of rheumatological tests and very few neurological). I've got a two page bio because no matter how much I condense it, I'm still complicated, and the stuff they're gonna wanna know just isn't gonna fit on one page. And I recycled an old training notebook from my last job to store this stuff plus the most recent medical records so I can bring it with me Monday morning.

I got a no-frills hotel room with a kitchenette because it's easier to accommodate my various dietary restrictions that way. I'm bringing all the food from home except for stuff we have to buy at the grocery like eggs and milk. I've Map-Quested the hotel and the nearest grocery to it so we won't get lost (I'm an excellent navigator if I have a map in my hand)

I'm only bringing four days' worth of clothing because there will be a washer and dryer at the hotel. All the same, I was shocked to find out how much room winter clothing takes up in a suitcase! I haven't traveled during the month of December since I was in college.

The forecast for Rochester is only about 10 degrees colder than Sioux Falls, but the wind chill is gonna be rotten, as in minus 30 degrees. Not exactly the greatest news for someone with Raynaud's. But no snow forecast, which is awesome for the four hour drive out there.

We're going to try to get there Sunday afternoon because I have to fast that night and need to eat my supper prior to 7pm, and it can't have any fat in it, so I'd better make it myself (the usual eggs and cream of rice). I am supposed to bring all my meds and supplements in their original containers with me to the appointment, not an easy feat because I can barely fit them into two gallon-sized and one quart-sized bags. Between all the pills, the paperwork and a snack for when I'm done fasting (can't wait around too long for food when you're diabetic), I'm gonna look like I'm moving in!

As for entertainment, I really feel sorry for my husband because he doesn't like to read books and we don't have a portable computer or music player. I at least will have stuff to read, and I'm bringing a handheld Yahtzee game for both of us. For the car trip, I'm bringing a selection of '80's, '90's, present day and Christmas music.

One thing that has me stressed out is that my health insurance has not yet responded to my appeal for their denial of coverage for this visit. I sent my appeal on November 7th. I guess I'll call them tomorrow and see if I can get an answer out of someone because I really want this resolved before I leave.

Despite all my preparation, I am still scared to death of going to another new doctor, especially when the outcome of this appointment could affect the entire course of my medical and financial future. I've been seriously traumatized over the past decade with all the insurance denials and dismissive medical professionals. I went to three rheumatologists this year alone who wouldn't deal with me because I was on disability; how in the world can I have an open mind after that?

I think the LTD company that denied me has successfully brainwashed me. I keep thinking that Mayo is going to tell me that all my previous doctors were wrong and that there's not anything much going on with my health, as silly as that sounds. It has happened to me so many times in the past that I can't seem to banish it from my head.

Ah, late night ramblings! Sorry about the vent. But I bet I'm not the only one who thinks this sort of thing, particularly when plagued with things that are so doggone difficult to diagnose.

But I suppose even answers I don't like are better than no answer at all, right? And at least I'm getting my foot in the door in Rochester.

All the same, I'll be mighty glad when it's over with.

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