This was a huge issue in my anorexia recovery. When you get healthy on the outside people say and assume you are well. That is where I had to use my voice and tell people how they can help me or what I am feeling inside. I had to learn to not use my outside to show my inside feeling. With my pain I have used those coping skills about telling people how they can help me,reaching out for support,etc. There are always stupid people in the world who say stupid things including family,friends,docs. It can be frustrating but I try to focus on the healthy supports. Even at a doc apt there was a man who had cancer but it was in remission but was there for a test and was maybe 70 I don't know anyhow he asked why I was there and said well you look healthy and fine. It is frustrating and this is from a person who has been through a lot. I think people mean it as a nice thing so I try to take it as that. At the same time it makes my pain feel unheard. Does that make sense? I guess I try to remind myself of the facts and the people who know me understand more.