Today, I lost my loving 14 year old mamma Yorkie after much sickness. She had been suffering from chronic kidney failure over 2 years. Every day after diagnosis, I gave her fluid therapy (similar to an IV) special food, and medications. I know she could not have made it as long as she did without this care, but this doesn't help plug the gaping hole left torn in my heart.

I don't know if any of you will understand this or not, but this dog was so special. I have had and loved several dogs in my life very, very much, but she was different. Born at the foot of my bed, to an abused mother, she attached herself to me, almost as soon as she could get out of the birthing box. If she went outside, my husband would let her in and she would race through the house, like a shot, trying to find her person.

Sitting on his lap in our den, she would climb as high as possible on his shoulder and her deep dark eyes would follow me everywhere. He played the cover the eyes game, but she would squirm to get beneath his hands to see me. If I left the room, she was down in an instant, hot on my heels following me wherever I went. Riding in the back seat of the car in her crate, I could feel her eyes watching me, just waiting for me to turn and look at her. If this is not true adoration, I don't know what it is.

I don't know how I am going to get through this, it has me so torn up. I never realized losing a pet could be so painful. When the vet brought the syringe in to put her to sleep, I wished he had brought me one, too... He explained that many times the bond between caregiver and dog forms even tighter in a situation where their life is so dependent on your constant care.

I feel so terrible and guilty. The last few days, I should have gone on and let her go, but with efforts on the part of my vet and constant day and night home care, I thought things would turn around. It was not the kidney issue that caused her to go downhill; they don't know what it was. She was suffering so much, even with constant pain medication, and I should have let her go sooner... Every time I think of that, I see those trusting eyes. She loved and trusted me and in the end, I was selfish and let her down... I could not let her go until I just had to... She paid for my love with pain she should not have had to suffer...

I am hurting so much...

Cathie

I can understand your feeling becoz me too deal with the same situation two years ago and even today my dog picture come in front of me when ever i look at any dog. So have patience with you time with help you in dealing with this problem.

you have lost your lovely (and beloved) pet.

Cathie, it is very sad to lose a pet. You will feel intense grief with the loss of a pet so incredibly close to you. Although grief is very painful, it is normal to feel this grief.

I understand your feelings about maybe having "let go" a little earlier. Yet, you did this as you were able to do so. (So many of us "second guess" how we'd handled situations involving needing to have a pet put to "sleep." It's a tough call, in every situation.)

I am sure your beloved dog loves you and holds no hard feelings/resentments for anything you have done out of love for your pet.

Please allow yourself plenty of time to grieve and work through this recent tragic loss. This all takes a great deal of time. (I had lost a dog 4 years ago and it was very sad; it does get easier with time.)

Please try to recall how much love you have shared with your pet and strive to always love yourself as much as your pet has loved you!

Please let us know how you are doing when/if you feel led to do so?

You and yours are in my prayers.

i know how much she meant to you cathie.

Its is so hard to loose a pet - they are part of our families - they depend on us - they love us unconditionally - and its so hard too to see them suffer when sick and sometimes we have to make the decisions for them.... I know you were a wonderful Mom Cathie - and if she was in so much pain at the end - you can comfort yourself knowing you gave her a wonderful life and also was able to relieve her of the pain.... It will hurt - it probaby feels like a big raw hole right now in your heart..... but cry as much as you want - and remember too that in time you'll be able to smile about what a blessing she was to around and how much happiness you gave to each other.. sending hugs....

comfort me in my own pet losses in the past. I truly wish I could do the same. I know there is one giant HOLE in your heart, and also a lot of 'quiet' around the house now? But you will KNOW that that creature's spirit is around for sure, I DO KNOW that my gone 'guys' often patrol my windowsill as they had in years past... And at times, I feel them nestleing down by my feet on the blankets... I am pet free now, but wish I had LOTS of Critters who are Lovers around to trip over now! I am sorely tempted daily.

It is a hard thing to deal with. But at the same time, you were wise to 'deal' with certain aspects now. There is, as with humans, some compelling need to preserve life. At times, that quality of life is no longer there. YOU DID THE KINDEST THING you could given the cirumstances. That all does NOT make it any easier, nor will that sore heal fast or soon.

I went thru one of those 'guilty times'? Actually more than one...when the vets said I 'WOULD KNOW". Well, the creatures were more like me? They defied their situations and did NOT GIVE UP Even when they could not truly function well any more. It is a hurting thing to decide. But, a necessary one. I am crying as I write this, because I just know what pain you have and are going thru. Keep close to your heart, that what you have done is...tritely seemingly put, but apt: 'is best'. It still HURTS!

Your Yorkie love is beyond pain now, and happy. That is what we all strive for ourselves? It was ultimately a wise choice and best for your yorkie and for YOU! My heart goes out to you now, if at any time you need to whine personally, PM me. I've got THAT pet pain T-Shirt in the Extra Large Size!

Hugs always 's and Hope? Golly knows we all need it! - j

Cathie, Hi! I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t think you should feel guilty. You let her go knowing you had done everything you could, right up to the last second. I know you have some difficult days ahead, but I look forward to a time when you feel up to sharing some of your doggy stories with us. It's good to remember the pleasure they gave us.

This is very painful.

We've lost dear pets too. I think one just has to cry it out.

You gave her a tremendous life extension too.

We buried our cats who passed in a special place in our yard.
It was a dry, dusty spot where nothing would grow.

Now with a raccoon, 2 gerbils, & 4 cats.
The area is now covered in ivy, and spring flowers, and
lily of the Valley! (the raccoon we found dead in our yard!--don't know what the reason was, but we buried him there).

Having a place to put my grief is helpful to me. But I'll confess I couldn't bury them...my hubby buried them. I only took one of the cats for the euthanasia...the vet wouldn't let me be there,
as he said she would seize and it would upset me further.


A wise friend told me this: Your grief during a loss is just the other side of your love. If you cannot love, you cannot grieve.
So grief is not the enemy-- it is a measure of your love for whoever you have lost. Somehow that makes me feel better.

You will have another. Once you settle down, I suspect you'll get another.

Here is a pic of our grave area. I made this graphic for a friend who lost a dog recently.

Our oldest cat is now 20 and the vet told me 4 yrs ago she didn't have long to live. Each summer I get nervous taking her upNorth, because I don't know if she will handle it!
But... she is hanging in there. (she is lucky with no organ failure).

The second picture is Sheba in the morning (2007) begging my husband for a breakfast handout...but he only has coffee this time! I'll continue to pray to the cat Gods that she makes it this season!

Cathy I am so sorry that you lost your beloved yorkie. Losing a furbaby is just as hard as if they were human. I found this poem. It was given to me when I lost my furbaby. I hope it helps if even a little.

--that have been posted here.

I can only share my sympathy and empathy, as someone who has also had to "put down" a beloved canine on two occassions.

It ripped me apart, too. There is no reason not to mourn a beloved pet every bit as intensly as a beloved human.

The solace, as has been said, is in the knowledge that in sharing that love for however long it was, you added net positives to the universe. That certainly counts for something.