[caliTJ]

Hi, I have been searching the web for PN info and looking for an online community. After finding your board here, I have been pouring through the threads and it is relieving (sadly) to hear such familiar struggles. It brings comfort to know that I am not alone.

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia when my son was born in '05. That diagnosis never sat well with me. My symptoms just didn't seem to fit. We are under an HMO and I gave up searching for relief after feeling I was sounding like a hypochondriac to my docs.

Unfortunately my symptoms did subside here and there and now are back much worse. I finally cornered my doc and asked him to think outside the box and try to "rediagnose" me. And now I sit with a PN diagnosis. I have a battery of more tests scheduled, so I won't know more for a bit on what type or what extent the neural damage is.

My husband had to care for his ailing father who had MS for 10 years and eventually passed 9 years ago. The idea that I could become a burden to my husband is overwhelming.

I have already felt that I am slowly losing all the things that brought me joy and value. I am a photographer...or was I should say. I finally closed up "shop" last month after the pain of walking has become too much for me. I love to garden and now I can only attend to my garden when I am well and it is suffering.

Explaining my "walk" and hand pain to family and friends...well how do you even start???? I just try to hide it whenever possible. I am becoming an expert at disguising my condition. Choosing to stand when no one is looking and such.

Thank you all for reading this and I hope to find lots of information and HOPE here.

TJ in California....Santa Barbara area